Quote of the day: "You are what you think."

- abstracted from Mind Power, by James Borg.

Yea, Mind Power is another self-help book i bought.

All i wanted to do on that day was to buy myself lots of books to read. But den i came across these interesting book that i spend the "entire" day standing there and reading another book. I didnt buy that book cos its damn ex!! 40 bucks! might as well just stand there and read. haha.


I was trying to share this thought that i had when i was in train back to home today. But den i forgot wad it was. Was definitely interesting, haha.

Oh i remember, when i look into the mirror. Random comment: A good mascara and a good lip balm is all i need. =) (Apply a thin layer of foundation and you're good to go.)

It's like a good pair of shoes brings you to wherever you wanna go. It's true, my current good pair of shoes can make me walk longer without fatigue. haha. My last mascara fail me after a few hours of applying. This current one last de whole day. =) That why i love it! haha.


Love and Signed, =P
JaN

i wish i could be typing all my feelings here. =(

Sometimes i dont wish to post on this blog 'cos i don't know who might be reading it.

Anyways, whatever. =)

Work is as per normal. Need to start remembering how the system works. =(


Actually i kinda have nothing to post today. Just feel like typing that's all. It's true that i convey myself better in words, cos i don't know how to express myself verbally. It's no wonder that friends don't know how to talk to me. haha. I don't blame them. But if i were to turn my words verbally, I would come out with alot of stuffs that you would also probably find boring. Lectures of life, opinions on people, complaints. I don't know, maybe i am just scared to talk. 'cos i have little knowledge, so i rather spew nonsense all the time and have people laughing at me or with me. haha. Oh yea, and another thing is cos, my words don't have any credit in them. It's like people often thinking i'm joking?? i don't know.

I have not find any ultimate life goals yet. I just know that i need a higher salary, that's all. =) Is that a goal? haha. I need to save money, to buy my own house. Well, probably loan it first from my parents. I'm sure they will support me financially. But.. nevermind. Anyways, that's my goal from now. =) Glad I have something to think about for the future. I don't mind living in a cosy house where i can limit my housekeeping chores, haha, i'm a lazy person ya know.

Think sexy. =P haha. I don't know why my own house makes me feel sexy. I start to think what kind of cloth makes me feel sexy. hmm. Lace? Silk? I guess it's silk. Smooth and silky. I need to redo my own closet, buy more silky clothes, that fits my body. =)) I can decorate my room with lace though. I know of this push cart in imm that sells alot of decoration in lace. haha. Was planning to ask my mum to buy, but they always walk past it and walk straight in to giant. =.='

I want my own dresser table! Yes i know you thought i have one. Please, if you look closely, that's supposed to be a computer table! And my mirror is paste on my wardrobe, if you girls notice when you come my house. Well, i did it myself though, aesthetic looking i thought.

Anyways, that's not the point. The whole point is, i want my room to be a lady's room! =.=' Yea maybe some decorations might help. haha. I have already 2 puzzles frame - one pooh and one anime one. Still i am proud of these two. haha. Might want to make more puzzles! (and with nowhere to hang.) Need to start clearing things that i don't want to make more space. Best furniture i thought is the most useful around my room. My sofa!! haha. 'cos i always dump my bags and clothes on it. (And make a pile lol!)

Progress, progress. Hopefully, they help in building my life. Baby steps at a time. =)

Love,
JaN

(p.s: i kinda wanna sign off every after post. haha.)

Trying to build self confidence. And building / improving on a new me. I do not have the courage to try new stuffs in the past, and have no wish to do them 'cos im always in my comfort zone.

Now i know i have to try to move out of my comfort zone, which I have no idea what comes first. All because of finding the inner sanctum of myself, to find the new and sexy me. I love myself and i am going to amplify that notion. The books that I bought are going to help me (or so i think). I hope that's not being selfish by loving myself first. haha.

I always wonder, how to love others when I cannot even love myself first? I need to take this mojo makeover before i learn how to love other people. In my 26 years of life, I have never really know this, but i am starting to learn now. Although I might still be me, I probably will feel differently after i grasp this knowledge of learning to love myself more.


Step 1: I finally find the courage to visit the doctor and physical therapy. (For me this is a huge step to mold myself.)

Step 2: I need to learn how to love and treasure myself more.

Step 3: Finding my own goal and purpose in life. Let me start climbing the career ladder. =)

Step 4: The rest can come later.


Well, i do hope that i have support from friends and family though. As i work through all this, I will need some moral support. =) 'Cos it's tough to make this journey all by myself. (Although I'm pretty sure i still can do it.)

I wonder if finding love trigger a big motivation of these? Everyone wants to be loved. =)) I'm sure I have my answer by now. Yes, it is. Whether it's finding love of myself or by others. I still want to be loved.


Okay, back to the process of building a new me..

My life is just so... so... hahaha~!

anyways, been spending alot on clothes. =.=
Just went kinokuniya on last sat to buy myself 5 books lol. Did nothing but shopping this few weekends haha. Until i ran out of things to buy.

Hmm. Was hanging out at jp on sat also. Went into sasa to try out on tons of perfume before deciding which one to get. Not getting yet cos am planning to ask my dad to get from dfs when he come back from china next week. haha.

Finally gotten a hair dryer, though its not the one that i was planning to get. Nevertheless, got a 'salon' kinda hair dryer.

I broke my fav blusher ='( It was my mum's but i like it cos i like the brush and the glitter color. Meanwhile im just lazy to powder myself before going work. No one's looking anyways. haha.


Things are not looking up. ='(

been doing my physio exercises diligently, almost every night.. =x

anyway, hope it pays off. probably its in my brain, but i think its working. haha..

actually physio therapy is good for ppl who has weak muscles, and people who dunno how to exercise the correct way. its not only for ppl who has these muscles / joints problem but also for normal ppl who dont exercise regularly bcos of their stressful lifestyle. These bit of exercises can also help. =))


seriously, one of my dream is to wear high heels and/or walk confidently, and de ability to do different kinds of exercises, like hiking or running. if really, this works, i am not far from my dream. =DDD i even wouldnt mind jogging everyday, if i am able to jog without tripping haha.

Funny how ppl need to grow to make them stronger. I know i need to. =)

My decision is made.. i made my points.

Life is all about decisions. Plenty of stuffs go thru my mind lately. Interesting things that i wouldn't think before. Maybe cos im too simple? haha..

Is it so hard to measure a person's feelings? Y can 2 couples stand each others despite one has no feeling for de other no matter wad? Is it cos de one who doesn't feel need not put much or no effort required of? Because I don't care so I don't put effort?

Wad is my goal or priority in life? Sigh...

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yday went for my 2nd physio with my family. den had brunch(nasi lemak/ayam penyet) near my bro's school(adam's food centre) and went shopping in OG(de one opp simlim) with my parents.

we den got tired of walking around with nothing to buy, and left to drive to bukit timah, while waiting to pick my bro up for dinner. my mum saw this orange farm, where they sell all the mandarin/lime plants, drive in and there they bought one pot of medium-sized mandarin-orange/lime plant.

fetched my bro from sch and drove down to kallang long beach king to eat dinner. was quite early when we reach there so was quite comfortable eating. too bad de crab werent as big as de one we had in east coast main branch. =( but well, the price worth it.



hmmm, den is just pms pms pms. sucks.

y is it so hard??

i want wad i want and desire... =((

i was searching for 'One Piece Wanted' puzzle for a long time cos comic connection dont have them anymore. =(

But finally, i found it at the Nex's comic connection! haha.. now left for de frame, before i can start working on de puzzle..

If my hobby can turn into this, i might hang alot of frames on my wall. lol.

nothing much going on. i dont feel like going out after work. just wanna go home and rest. i need to sleep early, same as ever hah.

i read some news that facing a screen for more than 2 hours a day can cause heart disease. okay, how not to face a screen when im a programmer?! plus, almost everybody needs to work with a pc wad... okay, how abt all doctors limit us to work for every 2 hours, u need a 15 mins break. thats will be so cool.. haha. fine, i need to face away every 2 hours den. need to set alarm to remind myself.....


arr need to go bath and sleep now. i can feel my body sleepingggg... night..

Happy new year everyone!

New year resolution for me is just to do my physio therapy everyday. Probably think before speaking. n be nicer to my bf. Lol! Do things myself without relying on ppl. put cellulite cream everyday =D

Hmmm.. that's all I can think of... haha... shall post again if I think of something..

Shall upload hk photos later. lol.. cos haven really had time to upload my dad's, plus my brother just got back wit my camera yday.

See ya!

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Sucks.. am sick now..

but at least better than last week. i hope tmr will be better.


gotta go rest now.. cya..

haha.. joke of the day: benson want to go hk to buy prawns back to sg. so wei wei says, what if the prawns cannot take the pressure when they are on the plane? den they become longxia?!! LOL!!!! *when u go up to a higher atmosphere, ur ear will get hard of hearing*

anw, gonna take a company trip to hk this month with my parents for 3 days. too bad dear got his last paper on the first day im going. =(( my bros going hk this sat with my relatives.

going to meet up with carmen, and probably de rest of my hk frens if they are free. =D She and jeremy gonna discuss where to bring me and my parents. hehe. too bad jeremy's going mainland china with his parents, so he cant come meet us, and i noe hes been dying to. (cos ive been saying im gonna go hk one day ever since they came sg lol) haha! next time ba jeremy! we sure got plenty of chances to meet!

My mum got me these jackets from Msia's uniqlo and disel lately when she and my dad went for a wedding dinner in KL. so happy.. cos i love the jackets!! hahaha~!

although its only 3 days but i believe i will enjoy my full 3days in HK! =D shall rmb to bring my camera~! hehe.. haven been so happy since my last overseas trip lol. maybe cos its with frens and colleagues! ^^ 2 more weeks! keke.. den come back and celebrate xmas!

until den! tata!

我觉得很空虚吗？有话也不想说。别的情侣是天天想着对方， 想天天谈天说地。即使两人是隔得遥远， 也是互相惦记着。为什么我们是多末得靠近皮此，却是不想着对方，想要见到对方？为什么我是不敢和他说出心里的话？我讨厌这心中的疑问.谁可以解我心里的疑惑和纳闷?

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lblActivity.text= "wake up, go work, come home, watch drama, sleep";
i=i+1;
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LOL~! A full weekday re occurrence. Weekend is another thing. But time pasts really fast on weekends. tsk tsk...

feel like napping now. but i'll be wasting my time away sleeping. i should be watching more dramas instead. HAHA~!

luckily weekdays lunch has always been fun and laughter with colleagues. though i still hate de long walks in de morning to the office and back to de train station at night. My condition can not really take such toll. Really wish that someone would drive me to work every morning and back home at night. My joints start to ache. I dunno if its my condition that causes this, or bcos i lack exercise. Then again, i used to walk such long walks and not ve any pains while walking. damn legs. seriously, this condition starting to ve an adverse effect in my life. Im starting to worry about my future. Maybe physio will help. Lets hope so.

Can i truly find someone who really appreciates who i am and accept me, and vice versa?

*yawnz*

starting to ve acne now.. zzz.. need to ve proper sleep.. haiz..

my colleagues say all de males in our company are all gentlemen. I agree.

i like john. i think hes more gentle than albert or koh haha. =p

Anws, wei wei, joseph and ben brought me to china square to eat prawn noodles. Nice! And the streets hawker along boon tat street also 'mo-tat-teng' ar.

Work's been alright. Been going home later everyday but still at least that means i ve unfinished jobs to do everyday. =x

Did try to bring my office laptop home de first week. Cant take it cos its too heavy =.= plus i dont want to do any more work when i get home. Just wanna watch my drama. ^.^

Tmr is public holiday! yay! haha. i haven had my full sleep for a long time. lol. Not even weekends. Just dunno why. Auto wake up when i ve enough 7-8 hours of sleep. zzz. FYI, full sleep is 9-10 hrs.

Oh yea, hwee ching got me my Naraya bag and pouch from bkk. Thanks girl!! Happy =DDD

Alright gotta go watch show now haha. Ciau!

Sigh.. Everytime it happens when im having PMS. Just so very moody. And worst. Just hope my symptom can be something else. But moodiness probably is de best symptoms any female could ve. haha.

i notice that some other females might ve gastric pain or headache, or lose weight when they are experiencing PMS. soo i dont think i wish for that symptoms. heh.

Some things he said worsen my mood. I seriously tried to listen. But my hormones just wouldn't listen. Just keep crying and crying, that's all. I wonder if we can control our PM symptoms?

Feeling so stressed that i'm having pimples at my forehead. Maybe its the hormones. I dont know. Maybe they add up together.

M period comes, and of cos my moodiness should fade gradually. Yday was probably de worst i ever had. Men just cannot understand women. Sigh.

The FB app i took..

101 Romantic Things To Do With Your Lover

• Sing to each other. (Not really to each other. Mostly i sing and he happens to be there. LOL~)
  
• Go to the park. (yes)
• Apologize for previous fight and have a romantic dinner together. (hmm.. nope)
• Put love notes in his/her pockets when he/she isn't looking. (i used to..)
• Go to the beach and see the sunrise. (once? with frens too..)
• Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice. (hmm.. nope)
• Party with his/her friends. (yup)
  
• Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight. (during chalet...)

Only a few cos i just play this app. haha.

My point of view

Every time i go to my window to close it, I wonder about jumping off / death. Would I be better off dead, or if the world is better off without me?

Then I rethink my sudden thought today. I write down quickly to remind myself and for those who find death comforting.

My answer would be, No, it wouldn't. Sure, it would put me out of misery. Sure, my family and friends would be devastated. But it wouldn't change anything. My life wouldn't be better. Their lives would not be better or for worse. It will not affect strangers who doesn't know you, or people who doesn't bother / care. It would probably change ur family or ur close friends, but not much. Life has to go on.

Why not stay alive, and continue to change ur lifestyle if u find it so demeaning? THAT will definitely make ur life better, or probably make people around you better. =) Make a wise choice, after all, we hold our own lives.

Anyway, i thought of this when i finally go for a checkup at polyclinic. I am anxious to solve my own physical problem. I don't want help or pity anymore. I wish to do something about myself. This visit to TTSH is impt to me. Countdown period. 1 month and 1 day. Sigh.

Right now, i can do nothing but go on about everyday life. Probably dwelling isn't my concern now. I have an option, that is to go to the hospital. Must have a positive mind. Even after going to TTSH and doc says there is nothing they can do about it, I must be positive.

This is also something I thought of when i finally thought of finding a job. Someday I have to work to support myself, if not for my family. So stop avoiding work / life and start doing something. Even if it means failure and learn. Learn and get over your failures.

I realise anything that i procrastinate / reluctant to do is mostly bcos of my illness. It seriously affect my way of life, probably my speech too. This is why i decide strongly to change it by visiting doctors and getting appointment at the neroscience dept. I am tired of telling my family and friends that I am born like that, without really knowing the answer myself. And finding excuses that I couldn't do anything about it. Well, that part is true now. So I am hoping that any kind of cure, if there is, would really change everything about me.

Just remember, your life is in your hand. =) Don't be distress. A life only approximately takes 80 years.

Part of my horoscope in relationship

i believe i ve quoted this before. But this is only for Kevin. LOL! for 4 years, he still didnt seem to know me well. =P

VIRGO WOMAN
"She only searches for true love, not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angel again. If you have a date with her, you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry, make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up event, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can."

Satisfying lunch n dinner today. Yummy.

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The Big Bang Theory - The 'soft kitty' song



Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,
Purr purr purr.

^.^

feeling damn tired..

afraid to sleep more.. fearing that i might wanna sleep even more. and den sleep de whole day away.

well den again, since i dont accomplish anything in a day, might as well sleep. haha.


sometimes i just hate to sleep, cos i dislike dreams. Sometimes they are so real that u will find urself disappointed when u wake up. Sometimes they are so scary u wake up in de middle of de night and soothe urself. Sometimes they gave u several discomfort dreams that u dont get when u wake up, so u wonder why u ve that dream.

Then again, i like anime. Cos normally I watch anime that are not real, that can be differentiate from reality. When i stop watching it, i come back to "my" world. Somehow i like what i can control, and dislike what i cant.

U only sleep when u need rest. I hope i can sleep without dreams. There is never once i ve dreamless night. Or probably i know that i ve a dream, but that i forgot what dream that was. Maybe i keep thinking before i turned in, so thats why i will not stop thinking even when im sleeping.

I used to want to find out what my dream meant. I heard that they mean different kind of perceptions or personalities in ur life. Now, i wave that thought away. Probably i noe that i will have a different kind of dream once i change my thinking towards life. I know that my whole life up till now, my dreams seem to be de same. Sounds like deja vu in dreams. That would only mean that i have the same thoughts in me since then.

Things that i can control and things that i cant. Frustrated..

my interest lifespan is short. i noe that myself, even though i have a few interests myself. For example, i can be interested in a book. but once i finished that book, i wouldnt read another one, unless de content fascinates me.

RPG and anime are ones that would sustain my interest for as long as possible. Kevin says that i watch anime longer than he plays his game in a day. haha. Or i can play RPG from morning to night. wahaha~ Nerd~!

Contrastingly, that time when i wanna learn jap, i didnt continue to stage 2. Nor took de JLPT exam. After all, its for an interest. I dont ve to ve de cert. My teacher was kinda disappointed haha. Not being to brag but cos i learned abit better than other students.

Anyway, that interest that sparked me in the beginning began to fade, and i regress to my fav and only games and anime lol.

Okay, kevin and i bought these few fact books from borders cos its interesting and of its knowledge. haha. and since it was going at 3 books for 2 books price, we bought 6. =D Those books are very, mind intriguing, mostly philosophy and logic books, which is why it can be hard to digest when u read it. Still its definitely fun for me to learn those "facts". =P Im still reading it. haha.

If i want to work, i definitely want to work in a place where it can hold my interests for long haha. How can u work as a philosopher? i cant write. hehe.

i'll stop here cos my thoughts run until here for now. haha. cya!

think.. think..! Think about my future..

Its so hard to find what i want to do in the future. I cant foresee myself doing anything. Adding on to my frustration is me without enough confidence to do anything.

My results are out, and accordingly enough to my expectations, its a 3rd class honor. What can i do with this cert~! Certainly there are people who has skills above me, that's what my interviewer told me. ='( (And of cos i realised that without him saying)

Its too late to wish I had thought about my future when i was schooling. Cos when ure in school, u would never bother with your own future. Nothing but continue to study and play.

Its me with my lack of confidence, again. Should I ever think about being an admin assistant or other lower-paying jobs again, my lack of confidence has reached its peak!

Speaking of that, I ve had alot of negative emotions lately. Its not bcos of PMS. Its just cos i know myself. Shoots.. what can i do?! what can i do?!

Please dont say stick to IT. Bcos even i know that's hard. I'm sure all my classmates or course mates know this. And it doesnt matter without any inspiration in me~! With only a tiny satisfaction if others can appreciate my work can bring me no further.

If things are so simple and dull, why do we live? Do we live for the purpose of living? Or do we have a goal that we must accomplish as we are living? Why are most people always eager to go home after work? Is it bcos their work has no meaning to their lives?

I read this abstract from a website, for this philosopher encourage ppl not to work. He encourages ppl to enjoy and live, and not working to work. But i dont agree with one statement: Make people hate you! (why would you want to make so many enemies with yourselves to make your life difficult? is it for challenge? sigh~) Anyway, I forgot where i found this website. But overall I agree with what he was saying.

Okay, what i enjoy everyday now: is to stay at home, play RPGs, and watch anime! (I know that im a nerd.) If only I can apply for RPG-beta tester. LOL! but den again, a lot of nerds love to do the same thing as me. haha. hmm. one fun job to think about. (I would change games to play if i dont like that simulation or that gameplay enough.)

my family's traditional (ps: previously, rarely eaten =.=) breakfast is: semi-cooked egg with bread, complementary with coffee ^.^ (Normally found in kopitiam breakfast menu, or yakkun *yums*)

Anyway, my highlight is not about de semi-cooked egg, is how to make a macdonalds' big breakfast egg. LOL~! well, i was making my egg just now, so apparently its not too semi-cooked yet. so i went to put it in de microwave oven and pure coincidentally, i have a nice macdonalds egg!

How to make a macdonalds' big breakfast egg:

Step 1: Boiled an egg for about 5 mins.

Step 2: Pour content of egg into a small soup bowl. (to make a round shape ^.^)

Step 3: Put the bowl inside a microwave oven and heat it for 30 secs.


AND voila! there you have it! LOL!!

Of cos, timing is all about trial and error. I make an estimation for the 5 mins on de 3/4 semi-cooked egg. it would looked watery and uncooked. =D


In addition to my semi cooked eggs, i made mocha this morning. ^^ Just to make a fulfilling breakfast~

i think i am a nerd.. =X

i suggest to all sales people that they should thoroughly understand their products before promoting to consumers.

i bought a dead sea facial wash from marina square (de shop that is in the alley near puma). Well anyway, de first saleswoman keep persuading me to buy bcos she insists that de product is good for my delicate skin. I keep telling her my only concern was about my sensitive skin. but she keep telling me that its dermatological tested, i was thinking, "so? every products have that dermatological-tested logo on."

Anyway, when i was leaving, she went to ask another saleswoman (apparently her superior) to solve my problem. That saleswoman was quite persuasive, except that she cant even pronounce de words on the products itself, thinking that she can skip over de word. keke. okay, she told de first salesgirl that i cannot use de product she just recommended but a milder facial wash. =.='' man was i lucky not to listen to de first one.

And again, she insists that its dermatological tested. I was like thinking, yes yes i know. i just want to know whats de diff btw this product and all de others that also ve de same claim. Finally, she related de products to my skin condition, eg. bodyshop natural minerals (alovera) vs this. okay so i told her i use bodyshop. and den she explain abit, cos she dont fully know de ingredients to de bodyshop products.

i finally bought de facial wash due to part of her persuasion, while thinking that its cheap and that its ingredients are natural minerals. one thing she keep insisting was de "bubbles" that is in other products, and demonstrated that their products doesnt ve de bubbles to block ur pores, or something lidat.

i should really try one, seeing that they dont ve facial sample. oh my god, if they recommended these products to other aunties, and if de other aunties dont understand what they want, they would kena "cheated". Maybe i was also being cheated, seeing how most saleswomen use de same tactic to get customers. =) (i didnt get a full set, cos i want a trial, so i only got de facial wash and a toner. but they should really provide samples to attract more customers if their products are really credible. if i were de sales manager..... LOL!)

i know my own personality. Sometimes i didnt say anything, i know that i dont want to defend myself or make any excuses. Yet i dont want to agree as well. So often i duno what to say.

i know you dont know that, thats why ure damn frustrated. That irritated feeling of urs just make me desperate. i dunno what to do.

Negative feelings again. =(

Support and mutual trust are really the key factors to a lasting relationship..

Right and wrong doesn't matter anymore..

='(

yet another day to "Unemployment". LOL~! How slack am i for these few months.

Well, anyway, hope i ve good news within this week.

Im not confident if im up to that job he described. Well, personally, i tot that vibrant designs are more suitable for me, den a professional / dull look. I know that cos i used to design some cute layouts for my attachment company and they actually told me its too kiddy! hello! ure attracting youngsters for goodness sake! =.=' in fact, i tot that some designs i did were pretty good. haha. Time for self satisfaction~ LOL!

Anyways, apart from designs, liaising with jap hosting companies (my eyes sparkled on de mention of that LOL..) and probably socialising are involved. which is why i feel that im not up for it. Socialising has nv been a part of my life anyway. but i did tell him that its alright, cos i wish to get some experiences like these. Now is a good time to get these experiences anyway. Or else i dunno when would be de next time. maybe i should take up design courses as a job enhancement.

hmm, well, im waiting for confirmation, or a 2nd interview. *cross fingers*

As a fresh graduate, i yearn nothing more than a job i like, despite its pay. Okay.. somehow im starting to know what i like. thats good, keep it up. i do believe ur goals and passions will come about in ur experiences. right now, i ve none. lol. oh other than my pride in completing my fyp lol.

see ya soon! *hint: my bday!*

http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=106263&page=3

zzz.. who says sg women are lazy?

We are independent cos we cannot depend on sg guys to do things for us. When they "try" to do things for us, they would sometimes complain, like that forum above.

anyway, its pretty annoying if u do things out of courtesy and ppl dont even thank u. but then again, its out of courtesy rite? hmm, this kinda culture dont exist in sg, probably.

i am thinking, if girls try to wait for guys to pull out chairs or open doors for them, its probably bcos we wish for some gentlemanly actions in our society. *Or maybe some chairs and doors are just too heavy for a delicate lady alone, im not kidding. Even men thinks so sometimes.*

If there are very few of these actions around, women yearn more of them. Sg guys really dont take initiatives, do they? haha. and of cos, i chide ladies who doesnt thank the gentlemen for doing any courtesy actions.

Its contradicting in our society for ppl dont adopt a courtesy culture. Something to ponder about. And sometimes u wonder why u press lifts for ppl, giving up seats, opening doors wider for ppl behind me, and not rushing up the bus *a sign of kiasu-ness* when most ppl dont even appreciate.While in my case, most ppl do thank me for it, and im glad. =)

there are many different kinds of people in de world. if ever u are bullied / backstabbed, just tell yourselves that u ve met people whose thinking and actions are way too different from yours.

But it doesn't meant that you should compromise to their thinking, it just meant different priorities in life.

Well, alot of us do not come to an agreement with that thinking, so we complain / despise / disagree, a lot.

If only our culture morph into de same thinking, there would be less prejudice and despise which would then lead to bad conflicts.

It doesnt nullify any bad emotions, but it just mean lesser ill intentions towards other people.

Despite de different races, nationalities and religions in our country, our bad emotions towards other groups of people doesnt present itself to the surface, but rather to our own people.

That is why our own "groups" of people begin to absorb some of these bad feelings and tend to increase ill feelings towards other "groups" of people too. That is what we called prejudism / discrimination.

It is not wrong. Different ways of thinking and behaviours just cross paths. Sometimes it happens within a family, an organisation and of course, a country.

What is bad is that it doesn't stop. People dont just stop their own way of priorities and try to accept / accustom / adapt to others' methods of life.

You dont have to persuade others to understand your way of thinking, but they need to know that is what you stand by to. If you try to force it into other people whose priorities are extremely different from urs, den our basic instinct tells us that its dogmatism.  

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, or by justifying or rationalizing them.[2] It is one of the most influential and extensively studied theories in social psychology.

Dissonance occurs when a person perceives a logical inconsistency in their beliefs, when one idea implies the opposite of another. The dissonance might be experienced as guilt, anger, frustration, or even embarrassment. (Adapted from Wikipedia)

Pardon me for my philosophy. =p

picnic outing success! I couldnt believe that the weather was bright and sunny despite the weather forecast prediction that it would rain yday! haha..

though i couldnt provide something more fun to play with to de girls.. hee.. sorry jo and kw..

well, all in all, i hope everyone had fun!

next outing: fishing and camping at ecp! lol!

keke.. dear dear went to be a "brother" for his brother on his wedding day. Well i didnt go to de bride's hse of cos. so i waited them to come back at dear's place.


dear was so shuai in his 1st owned suit! i was actually stunned! haha.. anyway, watched the tea ceremony and den have lunch in the function room before going up to rest.

left for de hotel at 3pm. de 4 "brothers" drive us to zhenqing hse to get his blazer first before we headed down to four seasons. haha i makeup and got dress into my evening dress at their hotel room.

went down for de solemnization ceremony before i helped out at de reception table. dinner was fun watching de games played by justin and leeyan. =D *which gives me some ideas lol.*



went back to dear place after de dinner cos it was too late to go home. i hoped dear had fun being de "brother" for his brother. actually dear as justin's real brother should really kena tekan more. haha. yes yes apart from de solo action on those tasteless dark chocolates. well anyway, i could see justin smiling from ear to ear on his big day. =)

people who likes japan products should visit the following page:

http://japanbag.com.sg/

products are authentic.. well, thats what the website says.. and i ve brought a burberry sling bag on their website.. and well, its slightly cheaper!

good luck on ur spoil of war! ^.^

photos uploaded! click on de 1st link on de right-hand side to view my tokyo photos!

took me forever to upload them.. bcos of de size problem.. haha but all is well now.. unless i ve got de urge to place it in fb (which i ve none)..

The Pupil, by channel 5, has no ending.. it sucks. I was awaiting for a surprised change of plot, den gone, one lead actress was shot at de end due to a shady business between some India mafia, her father and her uncle and thats it. =.=

This case was never taken to court nor leaked to the public. Funny how such big organisation launders money and never be justed.

Oh and before that I was watching the recently ended Channel 8, 9pm show, wo zai ni zuo you.

That bad ending also pissed me off. I was hoping that Zhang Yang would disappear already and that his wife would be together with Wen An. It just turned out that Zhang Yang still resides in Wen An's body and Wen An's soul fly to another body because of a accident / collision with another man. =.=

Well i did like that show cos its a better plot compared to other Channel 8 shows. haha. Haven been watching that much mediacorp tv for a ga-zillions years. Although thats from xinmsn.



Oh, am finally "free" now. Ended last paper on tue and had celebratory lunch with my classmates at Sakura International around Doby Ghaut. haha. Hadnt been properly going out with frens since probably few months ago?

Day before my 2nd last paper, had steamboat at my cousin's hse too. That wasnt too bad, except that i was so engrossed watching tv and eating at the same time. lol.



Nothing much going on now.. Going find food to eat. See ya!

woohoo tokyo trip!!

exams first den play den work!

lemme play first.. hmm i also wanna go overseas with dear =( lets see how..

3 more days to first paper..


somehow while going thru my paper, i thought of my projects which i submitted 2 mths ago and which i can say i proudly finished and hope to get a good mark for the 2 of them! seriously recognised the toil of handling multiple projects alone.. thus which i am proud of.. those who ve completed a project single-handedly will know. even if its not ur best project, its what ure proud of!
 
amazed to complete 2 projects in half a year.. which of cos some of my classmates are struggling to do within a few mths.. now im just hoping my projects can be implemented in sg.. (highly doubtful since its in some part of London right now) Unless! i present my portfolio to my potential company! well its been my wish to implement this 2 information systems in sg, den i could win some innovater prize! (yeah right..)

and well since NGHP says they are researching on a similar system as my project.. hopeful!! if only they thought my project through and thoroughly.. well some of my classmates' systems also intrigued me, really those are potential systems which could be used!

with technology nowadays, every thing could be done. its a matter of budget and resources anyways..

time to go back to my studies.. tada!

y do they not care abt me? i have feelings too.. why am i always being taken for granted???!!! just bcos im guai and i dont say a thing when yall bully me is it.. i have a silent mouth, but just bcos i dont say anything doesnt mean i dont have a heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many resentments..!

how cool! my burberry sling bag arrived yday!! yippee! been craving for that bag since long time ago. =p time to buy few more shoes! haha.. (*after i can go shopping of cos) oh yea and i change my item to buy section. new HTC legend is my next targetted phone! lol. contract still not over. thats y i cant change it. been waiting for my contract to expire for a long time now. and probably im gonna continue studying part-time. no worries, not in IT anymore. =) journalism or psychology? hmm.. should try to find jobs now to fund my part time studies. i dont care if its contract job too. haha. *i probably just cannot stay in one place for long.* hmm what else? let me just hang on to this new goal for a while. =D my mood got a whole lot lifted. =D quoted from somewhere, without a goal in life means ure dead in heart.

I always have pessimistic feelings and emotions when PMS comes. Mood swings thrust forward. And my inability to control them. I feel pain, yet unable to cry.

I wish i could lead a new life. I wish I have passion and interest for certain things. Den i would have dreams and goals.

I have nothing to crave for. Everything is dead to me. Maybe only "illustionized" by watching dramas and variety shows help cheer me up.

I always wonder, how does it feel to be alive? to be totally mesmerised by something / someone? to have passion in something / someone? to be happy?

This may come abit late.. haha.. but

Happy belated anniversary, dear! *muacks*

Karen Mok - IF

If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
and when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
then you and I would simply fly away
If a picture paints a thousand word
then why can't I paint you
The words will never show
the you I've come to know
If a face could launch a thousand ships
then where am I to go
There's no one home but you
you're all that's left me to
And when my love for life is running dry
you come and pour yourself on me
If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
and when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
then you and I would simply fly away

hmm.. i recently finish this taiwan drama.. recommending to those who haven watch it.

Say Yes Enterprise 求婚事务所 (40 episodes)

this drama is about this group of friends who start Say Yes Enterprise - helping out couples who are in love but has difficulty to be together.

Starring big names celebrities.. well, i dunno their names.. but.. i do recognize them.. haha.. 
 

i realise i cannot rely on u at all.. ='(

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Oh, and..

wish that my cousins, Alan and Iris will have a blissful marriage!


i ve bought my cny dress at bugis. was trying on some cheong sam.. den.. it makes me look like chinese restaurant waitress.. =.=

Nonetheless, its still quite nice. but i didnt get it. cos i think i wont be wearing it after cny.

so i got some regular dress.


anyways, ive been working on my projects that im going crazy!

next time, i wont be a programmer. LOL~ probably a financial analyst like justina.

oh yea, last time we met, i didnt get to ask her abt her job. hmm.

my student life is dying. How?!! I dont want to be going from 9-6pm all day working, without slacking at home!!! except prob weekends.

on 2nd thought, i would get income. but it would take away my lazy life. haha.

*boo* working life sucks. everyone is just waiting for weekends, unless u love your job that u dont mind doing it everyday. lol.


ma life is miserable..*quoted from my mum LOL~*


Ciau.

oh yes..! the burberry sling bag that i want for a long time is restocked..

http://japanbag.com.sg/products-page/burberry-blue-label/burberry-blue-label-pink-sling-bag/

p.s. this is posted for my dear to see.. LOL!! *doe-eyed* anniversary present, pls pls pls???

somehow i feel empty.. like living a meaningless life..

hmm.. its january 2010 already rite?

time passed and i let it pass. it doesnt mean anything to me. somehow i dont feel like having a resolution, or anything that screams yay, im in the new year! cos it doesnt matter.

all that matters, is my graduation this year. and den, well, the rest is secondary.

time flies, to end of a semester year. bcos of projects, and exams.

but its still a standstill for me, in reality. cos i haven change. maybe that's why.


now, to flashback to the year 2009. to what i ve achieved in 2009.

1. i went to hokkaido


2. i learn basic jap, to be specific, in dec 08 - aug 09.


3. i volunteered myself to 'attachment' during my long break. its kinda surprised to many ppl. haha.


4. i did my first interview and survey for project. *i shall always rmb this.*


5. i attempted to fix my pc hardware by myself. consider that as an experience.


6. i held a 'surprised' party for kevin. lol.


7. i rode the sg flyer on my bday for the first time in my life.


8. i rode the car that my brother drove for the first time.

well, it may be insignificant but thats pretty much all thats new to me in 2009.

maybe things gonna change abit after i graduate. we'll see again next year. haha.


now, back to my anime. *some things nv change!*

i used to love reading wei si li chuan qi.

i think thats the only chinese novel i read haha.. cos i like this kinda mystery stories..

some of wei si li's stories freak me out lol.. but it was fun to read them.

maybe i should get the whole collection and read them one day. after projects i guess.



1st year poly gathering! haha..

been long since we last met.. but nvm we shall meet at least twice these 2 months.. one for this upcoming one, and the other for chinese new year.. keke..

do we meet up on cny every year? i got inspired by chin sher's uncle last year that we should keep in contact haha.. chin sher, i still rmb what ur uncle says... keke..

anyways, looking forward to meet up and crap like always! haha..!



anyone wanna go to some mummy exhibition at the national museum this coming sat? i thiink its free for students, so long as u got ur student pass. 15 bucks for adults, but still need to get tix from sistic. im soo going... sms me haha..

Quest for Immortality

yes my survey is finally up! http://www.kwiksurveys.com/online-survey.php?surveyID=BIEOL_7cd7fad9 pls help me do them! anything can just msg me.. thanks! =)

noooo... dont wanna do fyp! *sulk*

its xmas and post xmas and pre new year! so many holidays!

life as per normal when i am home. so sian.

no life..

no money..

complain complain complain. lol..

i think i shouldnt blog unless theres exciting happenings. or all u see is bored and complaints.




okay highlights of this month.


went to shop for presents and baked cookies for my love, jo, jj and kw!

met up with jiemeis for gifts exchange! thanks girls, for all your xmas presents! dinner was at chong qing huo guo and den exchange gifts at bugis mac.

went out with dear to watch 2 ultra fav of month movies, avatar and sherlock holmes. seats were hard to get, so we booked in advance. in fact i watched avatar twice. haha.

dear's house xmas party! ate buffet at his place before we went out for ktv with mike.

michael came back from taiwan, so went with dear to meet him and frens. ate dinner at manhanttan. and 2 days later, we went singing at kbox in jurong safra. clara came back from shanghai too! so she joined us for singing session.

my brother's 21st bday! i didnt help out much, but the party is a success with his frens' help. in fact, i just came back from aloha loyang.



i distinctively rmb these events cos this is the only time ive gone out so many times since like 2 months ago? =.=

okay gg now.. good nite people!

sometimes u wish ure a mind-reader, like edward.. >.<

wang show me this article..

i think it should relate to all people out there, whether its friends or couple:

Building the Bond in your Relationship

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well

• You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.


• Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.


• Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.


• Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it


• Having many things in common


• Accepting one another for who we are


• Listening to us and considering our opinions important

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner?s wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.


For more on this article, go to http://www.love-sessions.com/building_bond.htm

argh.. motorola droid is not coming to singapore. its okay.. i ve got an alternative - HTC hero. too bad that my contract is not eligible for upgrade yet. =( or else i would have the phone right here right now. anyone wanna give me for xmas? xD

been doing projects day in day out. sigh. that my hair is dropping.. zzz.. i haven gotten enough sleep haha. cos ive been staying up late =x



okay, time to enjoy some christmas festive! looking forward to meet up some frens and my bro's bday!

how about some gifts eh? i ve got a few items that i would like.. haha..

- HTC hero! xD

- burberry sling bag (its been in my wish list for sometime now..)

- casual pants (jeans are too tight for me, cant breath =X)

- backpack for laptop

- some classic long necklace? (i found myself plain without accessory on my blouses)

- hair spray (for my messy, flyaway hair)



need to find time to go shopping!byee~

stupid thoughts in my head again.

i am forever pessimistic. sigh.

if i am unique, like some ppl say i am, den how come i dont feel unique, or being loved by everyone becos im me?

instead, i feel more like unwanted, a stumbling block, an extremely selfish person.

sorry, despair hits once again.

I just want to be me and being loved because im uniquely me. =(

gotten too slack after i had my interview of my rpis project and my pc died on me few days ago. couldnt start to do my sfen nor rpis projects on my netbook. =(

well, now that my pc is revived, by the miraculous hands of dear lol. i do noe how to fix it 'kay, just that i dont ve what it takes to do hardware fixing. i knew that my ram wasnt properly placed by myself. =.=

yea so, i was saying.. now that i have my desktop back, i can start working again. be it sfen or rpis.

sfen project need not a comp to do yet. but i was so vexed by my own desktop, i couldnt get any work done. zzz.


dear had his first 2 exam papers started, one is yday, and the other is today. 3 papers more to go. jiayous. ^.^

so he had alittle bit of time to come help me fix my pc after we met for dinner just now. =D


okay, i need to go back to doing my project, or else im starting to fall back again.

looking forward to dec. ^.^

okay too much baby fats..

i stopped doing exercise altogether. mostly is because im too lazy. haha..

i prefer cycling machine den tread mill.. because u sit and cycle with ur legs, u dont stand and tread. waste too much of my energy.



i have a little bit of time before i move on to another chapter of my thesis.

oh now i think i prefer literature review to surveys and interviews. drats.

apart from those, drawing models. but models are fine. at least i dont have to worry about wad to ask people. =.=

fine, my project is easy. other ppl's projects are ten times harder than mine.

im not saying mine is hard, its just tough, doing alone. Having deadline helps, but when u are doing it alone, you dont even care about deadlines.


Teammates motivate you. Esp when they are working super hard. U feel u have to catch up with them too.

Just like when i was doing my fyp for poly. My part wasnt really crucial to the project, but it makes me feel like i have to do it, ya know?



why is my download so slow? ...

my pc got probs with my harddisk again. but thanks to my "unknown identity" classmate, i got it solved. haha.



xmas is coming. i can feel it.

cos its been raining almost everyday. >.<

hmm, wonder what to buy for gifts. umbrella? haha.. < i still dont get y my fren says im funny =.=' >



gg prepare for sch soon. tata!

okay skin's changed. All bcos my previous blogskin images are blocked by photobucket.. haha.

just lazy to find more image for the blog.

anyway, going back to playing RO.

my love tank is empty again. =(I think it has always been lidat thats why ive been feeling depressed and resentful.And theres nothing i can go about it. Unless my primary love languages is being filled. ='(

I need to have a life. Whats my passion?!

Socialising? no. Swimming? no. Shopping? no. Sing ktv? no. Eating? no. Reading? no. Gaming? no. Watching TV? no. Cleaning? no. Going out alone? no. Staring in space? no. Exercising? no. IT? no.

What else do I do?

"Year after year, they stay away, opting instead for a more predictable existence. Rather than taking a leap of faith and immersing themselves in the waters of their deepest joys and motivations, they insist on hiding inside a safety bubble, a sanitary, lifeless, colorless world where nothing new ever happens and the only thing that one can rely on is that tomorrow will be the same as yesterday, and that today will be more of the same. " 

"Imagine a world where we lived for the moment and spent more time enjoying reality than trying to escape it. Imagine a place where we didn't need lawyers to go before judges, psychologists to tell us that we have emotional problems, or clergy to talk to the Creator for us."

"The real sin is lacking the courage to express our convictions and zest for life. It should be a crime to bottle up the passion you once felt as a youth so that you'll fit into a controlled corporate environment or circle of associates. In fact, the closest we can come to a physical hell is the unforgivable action of refusing to say what needs to be said, not singing what was meant to be sung or forcing ourselves to no longer feel what was intended to be felt. "

"Passion shapes our existence, fuels the fires of inspiration and makes the heart and mind open to changes all around us. It is food for the soul, a spark that reilluminates our purpose and mission for being here. "- Brian Norris


Passion is the energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do.  

Simply put, it's being who you are and doing what comes naturally. It's like allowing water to gain energy from flowing along its natural riverbed, rather than trying to force it up and over a mountain. 

[Crafting a Life of Meaning, Abundance & Passion] by Curt Rosengren ~ www.passioncatalyst.com

"Like any emotional state, passion waxes and wanes. Sometimes you’re highly motivated. Sometimes you aren’t. Passion has its peaks and valleys, so if you base your actions on your level of passion, your results will depend on your emotions. Feeling passionate? Great actions, great results. Feeling dispassionate? Weak actions, mediocre results."


"Passion is great, but it’s icing. It needs self-discipline to back it up.
Self-discipline is quieter though. Passion gets more attention these days becuase it makes more noise." May 24th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina 




I kinda understand what those passion gurus mean. But how to motivate or even be passionate about ourselves? I still need to search for answers within myself.

ok i just got an urge to start showing google desktop that i install on my pc. instead of using win7 desktop gadgets, i prefer google one. one of the reasons is the fact that the gadgets can be fixed at the side, when i can still see them if i open other windows.

ok so above image is a screenshot of my desktop. as u can see the google gadgets are at the right side of the screen.

p.s. if u cant see the image well, enlarge it by clicking on the image.

well.. i put weather, clock, calvin and hobbes rss (one of my fav comic), skip beat! rss (my current fav manga), news rss and scratchpad for my RPIS fyp project. oh! and at the bottom of the google desktop is the google search. so typically google search in the search box triggers a internet google search browser if u wanna look for anything.

As you can see, i put an address link on my taskbar. it allows me to surf on website even before opening a browser.

So i found both the address bar and the google search box really convenient. Like, when i startup my pc, i wanna go facebook first thing in the morning. i type facebook on the address bar. i use mozilla, so by just typing the name of the website triggers the whole webpage. i dunno about IE though. maybe u need to type in the full url. And when i wanna find out a defnition of a word, i just enter the word in the google search bar and voila! mozilla firefox opens, and shows the google search word.

oh and one more thing. the fixed side bar of google desktop.

there it is. my mozilla firefox is already at its maximum size. i swear i didnt adjust the window. haha.

anyway, yea win7 provide the "iconical" taskbar. when u hover over the opened applications, it will show u a thumbscreen of the application. E.g. You are opening 2 browsers, so u hover ur mouse over the mozilla icon, the screen will pop up 2 thumbscreen of ur browsers.


Another feature that i love about win7 is that it allows 2 windows to be placed side-by-side fixed. so if u wanna open 2 windows and use them at the same time, u can just drag one window to the left screen of the screen, win7 will auto-adjust for u half screen is to that window, and drag the other window to the right screen too.

okay this post probably sounds dumb, cos im like exploring into win7, and i know some ppl are already using this google desktop, "duh~!", but i got nth to blog about.. hahaha..

good nitess..!

finally.. back to blogging on w.bloggar instead of the browser.. i think it would be better to blog here cos i dont need to open a browser to blog.

hmm. although its nearly the same steps taken to blog.. haha.. i dont know ar. just prefer blogging to be on 3rd party app.

maybe cos when u hit the wrong button like going back a page, ur written post is lost without saving. Saving on the browser needs internet connection, and sometimes my internet is down that kinda thing, ya know...

anyways im testing this post haha.. oh and cool.. i install google desktop! it has widgets that allow me to surf my daily apps without opening them, like blog feeds, news, facebook and twitter. and theres a google search bar widget too. so i dont need to open a browser to search for something.

although the win7 only provide address link toolbar in ur desktop. but i like win7. so much better than winxp or win vista. ^.^ and theres this win7 desktop theme that auto change ur wallpaper for u. hm.. kinda fun.. haha.. i downloaded the htc flip clock.. the interface is really aesthetic.. much to my liking haha. im like writing a review for win 7 like that..

lol ok, guess its time to work on my fyp again. Ciau!

Irony

When you were young, you have abundant of time, but you don't have the cash to fulfil your spending cravings.

When you are older, you have the cash, but you don't have the time to spend it.

That's the irony of life.

Today is friday..

im about to lose track of time. cos im sick and i didnt go to sch for 3 lessons now. haha. theres only 3 lessons per week.

i cant believe that im been playing and searching materials for my final project that i forgot to do my other module assignment which was due last week. =.= oh and i didnt really study yet except for my RPIS study guide. Sigh.

I find it hard to motivate myself to do a solo project. zzz. no help from anyone except my supervisor, whom i totally haven get a reply from.

I wonder how my friends used to do their projects? and gosh, they did them so well! research, literature review, surveys and interviews and writing the thesis, etc. etc. I seriously have no idea where to start from, other than doing some research on the relevant literature. Placing quotes is easy but to rephrase as a summary is hard. i have a limited vocabulary so its like kiddo writing a thesis. haha.

Gotta write up a preliminary report and submit it to my supervisor by the end of this month. =(

Did my flu come from having stress, or is it the weather? its so damn hot nowadays, i feel irritated and have the tendency of having headaches.


So bored from all the games that i played that i begun to watch videos from facebook that were posted. haha. why do i feel life stressed instead of exciting? no wonder my eq is low. no idea the links between life enjoyment and eq though. lol. (fb app) maybe its my way of thinking.

gotta eat now. cya.

so sian..

been playing sim3 after i finished with my witcher haha.

okay i know i haven been updating.. but there's nth to update wad..

im like my sim - loner, dislike crowds and prefer solitude time haha. the whole day she can spend her day playing and writing on her laptop (cos i made her do it lol)

my sim is like the perfect person, who is a natural cook, do fixing around her house, except that she doesnt like to be with other ppl, oh! and doesnt do arts. haha.

and she's married to this guy whose lifetime wish is to be a cook! how compatible are they! wahaha!

Sims siao, Sims siao..

Susu.. (Sims language of byebye)

hmm just came back from marina square. had a very full dinner at jack's place with my family.
my bro drove us around den we lost our way when we wanted to go marina barrage haha. so we gave up and headed towards our original destination instead.



hmm, last tues went out with kevin and frens to celebrate hwee ching's bday. photos are uploaded again on facebook. we went to suntec city mall to eat at MOF. den clara came to drive us to some bar near SMU. its a nice place to chill with the live band and the ambience. took a cab home with hong boon (he lives in boonlay) cos 'twas kinda late alrdy.




my pc harddisk gone crashing again. its the 2nd time the hardware's been loose. i think i need to change one soon. my personal technician need to build a long-time affair with my pc soon. i need his help whenever this kinda thing happens. totally helpless. =(

i wanna play my Witcher!! sucks.. and im near completing the game lor.

just when i thought that by completing the game, i can finally concentrate on my fyp. and now this happens! ...

sigh..

anw, looking forward to next wed! =D outing with jiemeis! so sorry for those that i cannot make it on that day. maybe we change it to another day? =)

See ya soon!

I need to go shopping!!

My burberry sling.. lotsa casual pants.. pretty white flats..

i think i should change my glasses. haha.

Sai la.. no money~!



Happy birthdays to all the october babies!! =D

I shall sing a bday song especially for you~!

1,2,3..
Happy Birday to U. Happy Birday to U.
Happy Birrr!day to Uuuuuuuu
Happy Birday to U~

bring me to ktv den.. I should try to sing nicer..

why do i feel so young? HAHA!

young in the mind, young at heart. young in appearance!!

Long live the Youth!

hiak hiak..

cos im still 24.. not yet 30..

I'm still a girl, not yet a woman.. *Everyone put this nice phrase down*

What is youth man? Enjoy! haha.. so drunk..

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I think one day i should die of anxiety attack, or stressed-prone attack. Im so easily disturbed by things. zzz..

My brain malfunctions everytime im disturbed. i cannot multitask. tsk tsk.


My tooth hurts again. Probably the area near my wisdom tooth. Its growing k, my wisdom. Coming at a high price though. =x


i feel so sian. slacking too much is not good for me. I cannot seem to start on my research..

Quote of the day: "Joking is a way of life. but sometimes when u r over the line, its just not funny anymore."

Siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

People, long time no see. How are you guys now?

Are you alive? Are you happy? Are you healthy?

I hope all of you are. =)


well, just to make sure im not talking to myself, would the friends of mine pls leave some comment on this post? haha. *just to make sure you are alive somewhere..*

No worries, i am still me. and im still a slacker, even though my fyp has started. =x

I am still de same old me. The stupid, slack, nonsensical me.

Okay, i go play game liao. bb.

The latest update on me..

I ve been slacking at home ever since my internship completed.

been trying to figure out a topic for my fyp.

and erm..

please please please do not ignore me when i beg u for surveys! cos i need them for my fyp! they are my life and death! U shall determine whether i live or die! i thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart and soul! =DDD

mooncake festival + mooncake feast! LOL!

ive been buying the small "bing pi" from the city bakery opposite my block. and den my parents went to order from johor some nice mooncakes too. =DD

i guess i should stop burning my house down for the time being. last year was nearly.. =x the corridor was scarred by us.. playing with fire.. so sad for the corridor.. =X

what.. mooncake festival = mooncake + lantern. lantern = fire. fire = forestation.. =x

thats y, of all the festivals, cny, mooncake festival and xmas are my fav festivals. hehehe..


mountain tortoise.. i stopped listening to news nowadays. cos i dont wake up at 6.30am anymore and taking long journey bus while watching channelnewsasia.

yes yes i did that when i went to work. i tuned in to the tvmobile on the radio on my phone every morning..

and so coincidentally i got my ipod nano after my internship completed. so i listen back to my music now. if only my ipod nano got the fm tuner... =((( at least, i was updated with the news. now im so in my own world haha.


i realise to put up photos in the blog is 10 times harder than other places when u dont ve a mass/quick photo uploader in blogger.

first step, u always go to some photo uploader site and uploads ur photos, den resize them, den get their html to put onto ur blog and lastly, add descriptions to your blog. dats way too inconvenient.

i just hope that blogger will notice that and modify their photos uploading system. i know actually alot of other websites collaborate with bloggers to put up their photos. but to me, its still troublesome. cos while uploading photos and linking them to blogger and make that post all about ur photos.

u cannot further add in text etc.. besides when u only upload those photos, ur photos will become too big for ur post frame den u ve to resize the photos to fit in ur frame/tables. or at times, the fixed html table generated by the photo website makes ur photos spaces out so much dat u feel annoyed so you ve to modify them to change accordingly to ur preference. zzz...

which is why i think its too much of a chore to post photos on blogs. i always refer u all to my fb photos instead.

couldnt uploading photos and blogging at the same time be any efficient? does anyone knows the consumers' preferences, but at all? by linking photos and blog sites together doesnt make it efficient, it sometimes confuses and irritates the hell out of users. sigh.


okay talk too much. shall blog again when i got something to rant about. haha.

been watching honey and clover in taiwan version. Although its not as realistic as from the manga, its just as funny and super exaggerating.

At the same time, i replayed the witcher. haha.

i dilly-dallying about doing my research for my fyp. no excuse, im just lazy. lol.

i just started sch again this week, projects keep flooding my minuscule brain. i refuse to use my brain until oct. haha.

lessons per week are only on tue, wed and fri.

so sian.. i guess only watching drama / anime and playing witcher can eat my entire day away.

wanting to buy a burberry sling bag. so cute! =x


my life is simple and satisfying for the time being. lol. Jya na~!

2 weeks nvr blog alrdy. Come to think of it, i ve nothing to blog anyways.

had a bad food poisioning a week ago. didnt eat much except for porridge for 2 days. it happened after i went out with kw haha. was damn damn damn suay.

well my stomach is okay now, but now theres ulcer at the bottom of my tongue, near my gum. =.=

and so happen that my pc hdd is spoilt =.= been trying to fix it since yday. even formatting is impossible.

in case u r wondering, im using my netbook now.


shall upload all the recent photos after i come back later. gonna meet my jiemeis for my bday celebration. =D

okay gg now. Ciau!

Some things u need not be so vexed about. U can take it as it come, and be glad that its gone.

Decisions that u make may not be correct, it may not be wrong. But it is what u choose. If u are scared of regretting of ur decision, u may forever not make
a decision. Do not be afraid of judgements, for in the end, you are only one that is in control of your life.

I am always so indecisive. When it comes to making a decision, I think thrice. Or rather dont think at all, for fear of judgement. So i let it go. In the end, the issues always come back to me. Sometimes i dislike that im indecisive, i troubled people cos i cannot make quick decisions.

This is the thing that i must change. To be precise and make quick judgement. Though im not quick enough to do anything. If it wasnt for this, I could have alot of other paths in my life.

Sigh.

Prelude of Mayday DNA 2009



Guan You singing "zhi zhao lang man"!



Mayday DNA ENCORE 1






Mayday DNA ENCORE 2

oh im supposed to upload yday photos, but my cam battery went flat haha. thats the thing abt my camera, i cannot recharge it using usb. only can charge it in the given battery charger. sianz lo.. probably will buy another battery if i were to ever use it for a holiday or something.

Anyways, i went down to have lunch with some of my ex-colleagues yday. JJ bought me a cake haha and we celebrated my bday in the hawker center haha.

After that, i went to Queensway to exchange my shoes that i was given as a bday present.

While waiting for kevin also, I picked out another shoes cos they dont ve my shoe size for that silver lacoste anymore.

Ended up with another lacoste, but its black. haha. Paid extra 8 bucks for it, cos its abit more expensive than the previous one and its newer.


Went to meet him and headed to his house.

we had dinner and took a cab to kallang indoor stadium for mayday's DNA concert.

My bro's friend bought the tix so we waited for them and the tix to get in haha. else we just stay outside the stadium pretending to be fans.. hahaha!

my first Mayday concert! woohoo! I seen them during one of their qian chang hui at vivo. but thats all, lol.

My god, this is one of the longest concert ive seen and been to. They gave a total of 3 encores by requests, demands actually, haha.

it was 12.10am by the time the whole concert ended. so tired and drained out. but so worth our money. haha!

Shall upload the photos and videos here and fb. haha. latest in the afternoon cos charging battery now.


Thats all! Come back for more updates on my zainu life. haha.
*wait, zai nu dont go out wat... XD*

aw.. results coming out soon.. keeping my fingers crossed. sigh.

daladeedadee

sianz.

oh yea, my cousin bought me this book "The 5 love languages". I strongly recommend this book to those couples out there, cos it teaches how to express your love to your partner in ur partner's primary love language. In this way, they are more receptive to your love in their own way, instead of the way you think how you should love them.

i brought it to ikea cafe, while waiting for my ex-colleagues to join me for lunch. They saw me reading this book and ask, "r u married?" LOL. Its not like that. Couples that are not married are further encouraged to read this book. Don't wait until you have misunderstanding with each other even after you are married, its better to find your own happiness now before its too late.

I haven finish yet, but this book is readable. Cos its thin and the font size just nice for reading haha.

Do i look like im into philosophy? hmm.. maybe..

i like to think abt human mindsets, behaviours, cultures and loads of other stuffs. Anyway, been contemplating to study psychology, but its full time. Just a thought though. haha.


*Life is short. Better do the things u want now, before its late.* Ooohhh, now i fully understand this quote.

Good, gotta go for checkup, do my bloody fyp, finish my last year of sch if i pass this year, and study psychology.

and den see how.. haha..

cya soon!

Completed my internship. Nearly forgotten to write up an internship report. haha

Friday wasnt my busiest day, but i was hand-overing some work to colleagues. I still need to finish some work too. So waiting for adrian to get his rental car, i completed my work until quite 7pm den i went 4th floor to find fanny.

Some colleagues were still around, so we chitchatted abit. After adrian came back, we drove off to marina square to eat dinner.

After that, we went to ritz calton to ve tea. haha. Late supper.



Saturday, met up with hariyanto and ben for lunch and we went partyworld at orchard. JJ joined us there and we sang until 7pm.

After that, we wenta find fanny and had dinner at PlazaSing. headed towards TheCathay to watch The Proposal. The show was so funny haha. A typical romantic comedy but got sandra bullock thats y... one of my fav stars of all time..

Anyway went home after that.


So slacking at home right now. Omg, i miss the time when i dont ve to go to work on weekdays. hahaha. enjoy whenever i can right now. lol.

Should start running tmr. So long nv run liao haha. Getting fatter and lazier. =X

Cya guys soon!

P.S. Photos are uploaded in facebook..

finally.. 4 more days to go!

im dreading these 4 days cos i have absolutely nth to do. Oh not totally nth. its just the 1 task that i hate to do! its totally out of my original internship work.

i was supposed to assist a system analyst. How did it end up like that?

I know im incompetent. but do you have to keep giving me shit work to do, just bcos im an intern?

Overflowing emotions. cos im an intern.

Initially, really was happy cos thought i would really learn something new and relating to my studies. now for the past 9 weeks, i think i really did learn and did nth related. sigh.


anyway, should really go exercise after my whole internship already. My double chin and my tummy are visible. Not obvious but visible. hahaha.

been going out with some colleagues now. Similar to zhikai, the biggest achievement ive gotten from this internship is to befriend all these colleagues. =)

I cannot get a permanent job. Maybe next time i should get a contract job instead. cos i'll die of the working routine. the inevitable cycle of sleep, work, eat, sleep. haha.

going to start fretting about something soon. Some issues that i avoid for a long time alrdy. =(

Gonna sleep le. Cya guys soon!

i nv used to upload photos on fb. i thought it was one of those friendster slow uploading tools.

haha.. but den i saw how easy it is to use after i bought my camera and try to upload it on fb.

although its tiring to tag every single one of u la, but it should be worth it. haha..

first time i upload any photos to fb. and first time i upload so much. haha.

ooh, i simply love my camera! although it has no image stabilizer. =.=

which is why u can almost see blurred images on every photos. lol


'sides, im having fun my colleagues now. haha. yea they are loads of fun when they are in the office and out of it. keke.

there should be more outings after my internship ends, so that our friendships dont just stay there. =)

Cya guys soon!

I uploaded the photos.. of the ones at the coffee club lol..

hmm so long never update alrdy. =p

Latest update on these 2 weeks.


Sunday
Last sunday went out with a bunch of colleagues to sentosa. Photos are uploaded in facebook if u wanna view them. =D

In the morning, adrian and fanny came to fetch me to sentosa. De rest of the gangs joined soon after we arrived. Suntan and played in the sea. After which we bathed and den ate alittle at delifrance before adrian drove us girls to vivo.

Lunch was at kim gary den we headed to topone ktv to enjoy our singing session. =D Sang till 6pm and ate ate lai lai kitchen.


Tue
Went with adrian, my colleague, to orchard to buy him some clothes. *I only accompany him* Before that, we had sushi tei at taka. Well, it was abit late when we finished dinner, so he only got himself 1 pair of jeans. anyway we went to coffee club opp california fitness to ve some tea.


Thurs
Last Thurs, went with adrian and zhikai to somerset to eat dinner and chitchatted at the coffee club opp california fitness haha. i swear i wasnt facing california fitness lol. it was the guys who were facing. too bad some girl we wanna intro to zhikai didnt show up lol. went home ard 11+pm.


Friday
Wanna do some last minute shopping, so went with adrian, whom haven finish his shopping, to suntec. Benedict went home first, but came shortly after to join us for dinner. Sharon didnt make it after she went home to put her laptop and den had dinner with her sis. JJ went home too, cos he forgot his hp too. =.=' He joined us around 9 plus pm, after we had dinner, haha.

wanted to watch Public enemy, but it wasnt showing in marina GV. so in the end, we played pool. haha.


Sat
Big DAY for kevin tan! was his 23rd bday. Well, initially he didnt know that we had a surprise party for him. But he did suspected something. Well, partially cos his mum leak abit. and den his fren sms him but he already knew so... =.= Anyway, was damn disappointed when the suspense was up. Wah my effort..! aiyo, next time we shouldnt do it at the function room at his condo. just a plain dinner will do.. >.< arhh.. i must admit im a lousy organiser..

Despite that, the party was still on and we had a nice time! Thanks for all the people who were there!

Photos already uploaded to facebook haha.

Well i shall upload to flickr when im free. =)