Quote of the day: "You are what you think."

- abstracted from Mind Power, by James Borg.

Yea, Mind Power is another self-help book i bought.

All i wanted to do on that day was to buy myself lots of books to read. But den i came across these interesting book that i spend the "entire" day standing there and reading another book. I didnt buy that book cos its damn ex!! 40 bucks! might as well just stand there and read. haha.


I was trying to share this thought that i had when i was in train back to home today. But den i forgot wad it was. Was definitely interesting, haha.

Oh i remember, when i look into the mirror. Random comment: A good mascara and a good lip balm is all i need. =) (Apply a thin layer of foundation and you're good to go.)

It's like a good pair of shoes brings you to wherever you wanna go. It's true, my current good pair of shoes can make me walk longer without fatigue. haha. My last mascara fail me after a few hours of applying. This current one last de whole day. =) That why i love it! haha.


Love and Signed, =P
JaN

i wish i could be typing all my feelings here. =(

Sometimes i dont wish to post on this blog 'cos i don't know who might be reading it.

Anyways, whatever. =)

Work is as per normal. Need to start remembering how the system works. =(


Actually i kinda have nothing to post today. Just feel like typing that's all. It's true that i convey myself better in words, cos i don't know how to express myself verbally. It's no wonder that friends don't know how to talk to me. haha. I don't blame them. But if i were to turn my words verbally, I would come out with alot of stuffs that you would also probably find boring. Lectures of life, opinions on people, complaints. I don't know, maybe i am just scared to talk. 'cos i have little knowledge, so i rather spew nonsense all the time and have people laughing at me or with me. haha. Oh yea, and another thing is cos, my words don't have any credit in them. It's like people often thinking i'm joking?? i don't know.

I have not find any ultimate life goals yet. I just know that i need a higher salary, that's all. =) Is that a goal? haha. I need to save money, to buy my own house. Well, probably loan it first from my parents. I'm sure they will support me financially. But.. nevermind. Anyways, that's my goal from now. =) Glad I have something to think about for the future. I don't mind living in a cosy house where i can limit my housekeeping chores, haha, i'm a lazy person ya know.

Think sexy. =P haha. I don't know why my own house makes me feel sexy. I start to think what kind of cloth makes me feel sexy. hmm. Lace? Silk? I guess it's silk. Smooth and silky. I need to redo my own closet, buy more silky clothes, that fits my body. =)) I can decorate my room with lace though. I know of this push cart in imm that sells alot of decoration in lace. haha. Was planning to ask my mum to buy, but they always walk past it and walk straight in to giant. =.='

I want my own dresser table! Yes i know you thought i have one. Please, if you look closely, that's supposed to be a computer table! And my mirror is paste on my wardrobe, if you girls notice when you come my house. Well, i did it myself though, aesthetic looking i thought.

Anyways, that's not the point. The whole point is, i want my room to be a lady's room! =.=' Yea maybe some decorations might help. haha. I have already 2 puzzles frame - one pooh and one anime one. Still i am proud of these two. haha. Might want to make more puzzles! (and with nowhere to hang.) Need to start clearing things that i don't want to make more space. Best furniture i thought is the most useful around my room. My sofa!! haha. 'cos i always dump my bags and clothes on it. (And make a pile lol!)

Progress, progress. Hopefully, they help in building my life. Baby steps at a time. =)

Love,
JaN

(p.s: i kinda wanna sign off every after post. haha.)

Trying to build self confidence. And building / improving on a new me. I do not have the courage to try new stuffs in the past, and have no wish to do them 'cos im always in my comfort zone.

Now i know i have to try to move out of my comfort zone, which I have no idea what comes first. All because of finding the inner sanctum of myself, to find the new and sexy me. I love myself and i am going to amplify that notion. The books that I bought are going to help me (or so i think). I hope that's not being selfish by loving myself first. haha.

I always wonder, how to love others when I cannot even love myself first? I need to take this mojo makeover before i learn how to love other people. In my 26 years of life, I have never really know this, but i am starting to learn now. Although I might still be me, I probably will feel differently after i grasp this knowledge of learning to love myself more.


Step 1: I finally find the courage to visit the doctor and physical therapy. (For me this is a huge step to mold myself.)

Step 2: I need to learn how to love and treasure myself more.

Step 3: Finding my own goal and purpose in life. Let me start climbing the career ladder. =)

Step 4: The rest can come later.


Well, i do hope that i have support from friends and family though. As i work through all this, I will need some moral support. =) 'Cos it's tough to make this journey all by myself. (Although I'm pretty sure i still can do it.)

I wonder if finding love trigger a big motivation of these? Everyone wants to be loved. =)) I'm sure I have my answer by now. Yes, it is. Whether it's finding love of myself or by others. I still want to be loved.


Okay, back to the process of building a new me..

My life is just so... so... hahaha~!

anyways, been spending alot on clothes. =.=
Just went kinokuniya on last sat to buy myself 5 books lol. Did nothing but shopping this few weekends haha. Until i ran out of things to buy.

Hmm. Was hanging out at jp on sat also. Went into sasa to try out on tons of perfume before deciding which one to get. Not getting yet cos am planning to ask my dad to get from dfs when he come back from china next week. haha.

Finally gotten a hair dryer, though its not the one that i was planning to get. Nevertheless, got a 'salon' kinda hair dryer.

I broke my fav blusher ='( It was my mum's but i like it cos i like the brush and the glitter color. Meanwhile im just lazy to powder myself before going work. No one's looking anyways. haha.


Things are not looking up. ='(

been doing my physio exercises diligently, almost every night.. =x

anyway, hope it pays off. probably its in my brain, but i think its working. haha..

actually physio therapy is good for ppl who has weak muscles, and people who dunno how to exercise the correct way. its not only for ppl who has these muscles / joints problem but also for normal ppl who dont exercise regularly bcos of their stressful lifestyle. These bit of exercises can also help. =))


seriously, one of my dream is to wear high heels and/or walk confidently, and de ability to do different kinds of exercises, like hiking or running. if really, this works, i am not far from my dream. =DDD i even wouldnt mind jogging everyday, if i am able to jog without tripping haha.

Funny how ppl need to grow to make them stronger. I know i need to. =)

My decision is made.. i made my points.

Life is all about decisions. Plenty of stuffs go thru my mind lately. Interesting things that i wouldn't think before. Maybe cos im too simple? haha..

Is it so hard to measure a person's feelings? Y can 2 couples stand each others despite one has no feeling for de other no matter wad? Is it cos de one who doesn't feel need not put much or no effort required of? Because I don't care so I don't put effort?

Wad is my goal or priority in life? Sigh...

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yday went for my 2nd physio with my family. den had brunch(nasi lemak/ayam penyet) near my bro's school(adam's food centre) and went shopping in OG(de one opp simlim) with my parents.

we den got tired of walking around with nothing to buy, and left to drive to bukit timah, while waiting to pick my bro up for dinner. my mum saw this orange farm, where they sell all the mandarin/lime plants, drive in and there they bought one pot of medium-sized mandarin-orange/lime plant.

fetched my bro from sch and drove down to kallang long beach king to eat dinner. was quite early when we reach there so was quite comfortable eating. too bad de crab werent as big as de one we had in east coast main branch. =( but well, the price worth it.



hmmm, den is just pms pms pms. sucks.

y is it so hard??

i want wad i want and desire... =((

i was searching for 'One Piece Wanted' puzzle for a long time cos comic connection dont have them anymore. =(

But finally, i found it at the Nex's comic connection! haha.. now left for de frame, before i can start working on de puzzle..

If my hobby can turn into this, i might hang alot of frames on my wall. lol.

nothing much going on. i dont feel like going out after work. just wanna go home and rest. i need to sleep early, same as ever hah.

i read some news that facing a screen for more than 2 hours a day can cause heart disease. okay, how not to face a screen when im a programmer?! plus, almost everybody needs to work with a pc wad... okay, how abt all doctors limit us to work for every 2 hours, u need a 15 mins break. thats will be so cool.. haha. fine, i need to face away every 2 hours den. need to set alarm to remind myself.....


arr need to go bath and sleep now. i can feel my body sleepingggg... night..

Happy new year everyone!

New year resolution for me is just to do my physio therapy everyday. Probably think before speaking. n be nicer to my bf. Lol! Do things myself without relying on ppl. put cellulite cream everyday =D

Hmmm.. that's all I can think of... haha... shall post again if I think of something..

Shall upload hk photos later. lol.. cos haven really had time to upload my dad's, plus my brother just got back wit my camera yday.

See ya!

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Sucks.. am sick now..

but at least better than last week. i hope tmr will be better.


gotta go rest now.. cya..

haha.. joke of the day: benson want to go hk to buy prawns back to sg. so wei wei says, what if the prawns cannot take the pressure when they are on the plane? den they become longxia?!! LOL!!!! *when u go up to a higher atmosphere, ur ear will get hard of hearing*

anw, gonna take a company trip to hk this month with my parents for 3 days. too bad dear got his last paper on the first day im going. =(( my bros going hk this sat with my relatives.

going to meet up with carmen, and probably de rest of my hk frens if they are free. =D She and jeremy gonna discuss where to bring me and my parents. hehe. too bad jeremy's going mainland china with his parents, so he cant come meet us, and i noe hes been dying to. (cos ive been saying im gonna go hk one day ever since they came sg lol) haha! next time ba jeremy! we sure got plenty of chances to meet!

My mum got me these jackets from Msia's uniqlo and disel lately when she and my dad went for a wedding dinner in KL. so happy.. cos i love the jackets!! hahaha~!

although its only 3 days but i believe i will enjoy my full 3days in HK! =D shall rmb to bring my camera~! hehe.. haven been so happy since my last overseas trip lol. maybe cos its with frens and colleagues! ^^ 2 more weeks! keke.. den come back and celebrate xmas!

until den! tata!

我觉得很空虚吗？有话也不想说。别的情侣是天天想着对方， 想天天谈天说地。即使两人是隔得遥远， 也是互相惦记着。为什么我们是多末得靠近皮此，却是不想着对方，想要见到对方？为什么我是不敢和他说出心里的话？我讨厌这心中的疑问.谁可以解我心里的疑惑和纳闷?

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LOL~! A full weekday re occurrence. Weekend is another thing. But time pasts really fast on weekends. tsk tsk...

feel like napping now. but i'll be wasting my time away sleeping. i should be watching more dramas instead. HAHA~!

luckily weekdays lunch has always been fun and laughter with colleagues. though i still hate de long walks in de morning to the office and back to de train station at night. My condition can not really take such toll. Really wish that someone would drive me to work every morning and back home at night. My joints start to ache. I dunno if its my condition that causes this, or bcos i lack exercise. Then again, i used to walk such long walks and not ve any pains while walking. damn legs. seriously, this condition starting to ve an adverse effect in my life. Im starting to worry about my future. Maybe physio will help. Lets hope so.

Can i truly find someone who really appreciates who i am and accept me, and vice versa?

*yawnz*

starting to ve acne now.. zzz.. need to ve proper sleep.. haiz..

my colleagues say all de males in our company are all gentlemen. I agree.

i like john. i think hes more gentle than albert or koh haha. =p

Anws, wei wei, joseph and ben brought me to china square to eat prawn noodles. Nice! And the streets hawker along boon tat street also 'mo-tat-teng' ar.

Work's been alright. Been going home later everyday but still at least that means i ve unfinished jobs to do everyday. =x

Did try to bring my office laptop home de first week. Cant take it cos its too heavy =.= plus i dont want to do any more work when i get home. Just wanna watch my drama. ^.^

Tmr is public holiday! yay! haha. i haven had my full sleep for a long time. lol. Not even weekends. Just dunno why. Auto wake up when i ve enough 7-8 hours of sleep. zzz. FYI, full sleep is 9-10 hrs.

Oh yea, hwee ching got me my Naraya bag and pouch from bkk. Thanks girl!! Happy =DDD

Alright gotta go watch show now haha. Ciau!