Monday, December 13, 2010

Sucks.. am sick now..

but at least better than last week. i hope tmr will be better.


gotta go rest now.. cya..

Thursday, December 02, 2010

haha.. joke of the day: benson want to go hk to buy prawns back to sg. so wei wei says, what if the prawns cannot take the pressure when they are on the plane? den they become longxia?!! LOL!!!! *when u go up to a higher atmosphere, ur ear will get hard of hearing*

anw, gonna take a company trip to hk this month with my parents for 3 days. too bad dear got his last paper on the first day im going. =(( my bros going hk this sat with my relatives.

going to meet up with carmen, and probably de rest of my hk frens if they are free. =D She and jeremy gonna discuss where to bring me and my parents. hehe. too bad jeremy's going mainland china with his parents, so he cant come meet us, and i noe hes been dying to. (cos ive been saying im gonna go hk one day ever since they came sg lol) haha! next time ba jeremy! we sure got plenty of chances to meet!

My mum got me these jackets from Msia's uniqlo and disel lately when she and my dad went for a wedding dinner in KL. so happy.. cos i love the jackets!! hahaha~!

although its only 3 days but i believe i will enjoy my full 3days in HK! =D shall rmb to bring my camera~! hehe.. haven been so happy since my last overseas trip lol. maybe cos its with frens and colleagues! ^^ 2 more weeks! keke.. den come back and celebrate xmas!

until den! tata!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

我觉得很空虚吗?有话也不想说。别的情侣是天天想着对方, 想天天谈天说地。即使两人是隔得遥远, 也是互相惦记着。为什么我们是多末得靠近皮此,却是不想着对方,想要见到对方?为什么我是不敢和他说出心里的话?我讨厌这心中的疑问.谁可以解我心里的疑惑和纳闷?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

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lblActivity.text= "wake up, go work, come home, watch drama, sleep";
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LOL~! A full weekday re occurrence. Weekend is another thing. But time pasts really fast on weekends. tsk tsk...

feel like napping now. but i'll be wasting my time away sleeping. i should be watching more dramas instead. HAHA~!

luckily weekdays lunch has always been fun and laughter with colleagues. though i still hate de long walks in de morning to the office and back to de train station at night. My condition can not really take such toll. Really wish that someone would drive me to work every morning and back home at night. My joints start to ache. I dunno if its my condition that causes this, or bcos i lack exercise. Then again, i used to walk such long walks and not ve any pains while walking. damn legs. seriously, this condition starting to ve an adverse effect in my life. Im starting to worry about my future. Maybe physio will help. Lets hope so.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Can i truly find someone who really appreciates who i am and accept me, and vice versa?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

*yawnz*

starting to ve acne now.. zzz.. need to ve proper sleep.. haiz..

Thursday, November 04, 2010

my colleagues say all de males in our company are all gentlemen. I agree.

i like john. i think hes more gentle than albert or koh haha. =p

Anws, wei wei, joseph and ben brought me to china square to eat prawn noodles. Nice! And the streets hawker along boon tat street also 'mo-tat-teng' ar.

Work's been alright. Been going home later everyday but still at least that means i ve unfinished jobs to do everyday. =x

Did try to bring my office laptop home de first week. Cant take it cos its too heavy =.= plus i dont want to do any more work when i get home. Just wanna watch my drama. ^.^

Tmr is public holiday! yay! haha. i haven had my full sleep for a long time. lol. Not even weekends. Just dunno why. Auto wake up when i ve enough 7-8 hours of sleep. zzz. FYI, full sleep is 9-10 hrs.

Oh yea, hwee ching got me my Naraya bag and pouch from bkk. Thanks girl!! Happy =DDD

Alright gotta go watch show now haha. Ciau!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sigh.. Everytime it happens when im having PMS. Just so very moody. And worst. Just hope my symptom can be something else. But moodiness probably is de best symptoms any female could ve. haha.

i notice that some other females might ve gastric pain or headache, or lose weight when they are experiencing PMS. soo i dont think i wish for that symptoms. heh.

Some things he said worsen my mood. I seriously tried to listen. But my hormones just wouldn't listen. Just keep crying and crying, that's all. I wonder if we can control our PM symptoms?

Feeling so stressed that i'm having pimples at my forehead. Maybe its the hormones. I dont know. Maybe they add up together.

M period comes, and of cos my moodiness should fade gradually. Yday was probably de worst i ever had. Men just cannot understand women. Sigh.

Monday, October 11, 2010

The FB app i took..


101 Romantic Things To Do With Your Lover



  • Sing to each other. (Not really to each other. Mostly i sing and he happens to be there. LOL~)
  • Go to the park. (yes)
  • Apologize for previous fight and have a romantic dinner together. (hmm.. nope)
  • Put love notes in his/her pockets when he/she isn't looking. (i used to..)
  • Go to the beach and see the sunrise. (once? with frens too..)
  • Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice. (hmm.. nope)
  • Party with his/her friends. (yup)
  • Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight. (during chalet...)
Only a few cos i just play this app. haha.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

My point of view

Every time i go to my window to close it, I wonder about jumping off / death. Would I be better off dead, or if the world is better off without me?

Then I rethink my sudden thought today. I write down quickly to remind myself and for those who find death comforting.

My answer would be, No, it wouldn't. Sure, it would put me out of misery. Sure, my family and friends would be devastated. But it wouldn't change anything. My life wouldn't be better. Their lives would not be better or for worse. It will not affect strangers who doesn't know you, or people who doesn't bother / care. It would probably change ur family or ur close friends, but not much. Life has to go on.

Why not stay alive, and continue to change ur lifestyle if u find it so demeaning? THAT will definitely make ur life better, or probably make people around you better. =) Make a wise choice, after all, we hold our own lives.

Anyway, i thought of this when i finally go for a checkup at polyclinic. I am anxious to solve my own physical problem. I don't want help or pity anymore. I wish to do something about myself. This visit to TTSH is impt to me. Countdown period. 1 month and 1 day. Sigh.

Right now, i can do nothing but go on about everyday life. Probably dwelling isn't my concern now. I have an option, that is to go to the hospital. Must have a positive mind. Even after going to TTSH and doc says there is nothing they can do about it, I must be positive.

This is also something I thought of when i finally thought of finding a job. Someday I have to work to support myself, if not for my family. So stop avoiding work / life and start doing something. Even if it means failure and learn. Learn and get over your failures.

I realise anything that i procrastinate / reluctant to do is mostly bcos of my illness. It seriously affect my way of life, probably my speech too. This is why i decide strongly to change it by visiting doctors and getting appointment at the neroscience dept. I am tired of telling my family and friends that I am born like that, without really knowing the answer myself. And finding excuses that I couldn't do anything about it. Well, that part is true now. So I am hoping that any kind of cure, if there is, would really change everything about me.

Just remember, your life is in your hand. =) Don't be distress. A life only approximately takes 80 years.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Part of my horoscope in relationship

i believe i ve quoted this before. But this is only for Kevin. LOL! for 4 years, he still didnt seem to know me well. =P

VIRGO WOMAN
"She only searches for true love, not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angel again. If you have a date with her, you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry, make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up event, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can."

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Satisfying lunch n dinner today. Yummy.
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Saturday, October 02, 2010

The Big Bang Theory - The 'soft kitty' song



Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,
Purr purr purr.

^.^

Saturday, September 11, 2010

feeling damn tired..

afraid to sleep more.. fearing that i might wanna sleep even more. and den sleep de whole day away.

well den again, since i dont accomplish anything in a day, might as well sleep. haha.


sometimes i just hate to sleep, cos i dislike dreams. Sometimes they are so real that u will find urself disappointed when u wake up. Sometimes they are so scary u wake up in de middle of de night and soothe urself. Sometimes they gave u several discomfort dreams that u dont get when u wake up, so u wonder why u ve that dream.

Then again, i like anime. Cos normally I watch anime that are not real, that can be differentiate from reality. When i stop watching it, i come back to "my" world. Somehow i like what i can control, and dislike what i cant.

U only sleep when u need rest. I hope i can sleep without dreams. There is never once i ve dreamless night. Or probably i know that i ve a dream, but that i forgot what dream that was. Maybe i keep thinking before i turned in, so thats why i will not stop thinking even when im sleeping.

I used to want to find out what my dream meant. I heard that they mean different kind of perceptions or personalities in ur life. Now, i wave that thought away. Probably i noe that i will have a different kind of dream once i change my thinking towards life. I know that my whole life up till now, my dreams seem to be de same. Sounds like deja vu in dreams. That would only mean that i have the same thoughts in me since then.

Things that i can control and things that i cant. Frustrated..

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

my interest lifespan is short. i noe that myself, even though i have a few interests myself. For example, i can be interested in a book. but once i finished that book, i wouldnt read another one, unless de content fascinates me.

RPG and anime are ones that would sustain my interest for as long as possible. Kevin says that i watch anime longer than he plays his game in a day. haha. Or i can play RPG from morning to night. wahaha~ Nerd~!

Contrastingly, that time when i wanna learn jap, i didnt continue to stage 2. Nor took de JLPT exam. After all, its for an interest. I dont ve to ve de cert. My teacher was kinda disappointed haha. Not being to brag but cos i learned abit better than other students.

Anyway, that interest that sparked me in the beginning began to fade, and i regress to my fav and only games and anime lol.

Okay, kevin and i bought these few fact books from borders cos its interesting and of its knowledge. haha. and since it was going at 3 books for 2 books price, we bought 6. =D Those books are very, mind intriguing, mostly philosophy and logic books, which is why it can be hard to digest when u read it. Still its definitely fun for me to learn those "facts". =P Im still reading it. haha.

If i want to work, i definitely want to work in a place where it can hold my interests for long haha. How can u work as a philosopher? i cant write. hehe.

i'll stop here cos my thoughts run until here for now. haha. cya!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

think.. think..! Think about my future..

Its so hard to find what i want to do in the future. I cant foresee myself doing anything. Adding on to my frustration is me without enough confidence to do anything.

My results are out, and accordingly enough to my expectations, its a 3rd class honor. What can i do with this cert~! Certainly there are people who has skills above me, that's what my interviewer told me. ='( (And of cos i realised that without him saying)

Its too late to wish I had thought about my future when i was schooling. Cos when ure in school, u would never bother with your own future. Nothing but continue to study and play.

Its me with my lack of confidence, again. Should I ever think about being an admin assistant or other lower-paying jobs again, my lack of confidence has reached its peak!

Speaking of that, I ve had alot of negative emotions lately. Its not bcos of PMS. Its just cos i know myself. Shoots.. what can i do?! what can i do?!

Please dont say stick to IT. Bcos even i know that's hard. I'm sure all my classmates or course mates know this. And it doesnt matter without any inspiration in me~! With only a tiny satisfaction if others can appreciate my work can bring me no further.

If things are so simple and dull, why do we live? Do we live for the purpose of living? Or do we have a goal that we must accomplish as we are living? Why are most people always eager to go home after work? Is it bcos their work has no meaning to their lives?

I read this abstract from a website, for this philosopher encourage ppl not to work. He encourages ppl to enjoy and live, and not working to work. But i dont agree with one statement: Make people hate you! (why would you want to make so many enemies with yourselves to make your life difficult? is it for challenge? sigh~) Anyway, I forgot where i found this website. But overall I agree with what he was saying.

Okay, what i enjoy everyday now: is to stay at home, play RPGs, and watch anime! (I know that im a nerd.) If only I can apply for RPG-beta tester. LOL! but den again, a lot of nerds love to do the same thing as me. haha. hmm. one fun job to think about. (I would change games to play if i dont like that simulation or that gameplay enough.)

Thursday, August 05, 2010

my family's traditional (ps: previously, rarely eaten =.=) breakfast is: semi-cooked egg with bread, complementary with coffee ^.^ (Normally found in kopitiam breakfast menu, or yakkun *yums*)

Anyway, my highlight is not about de semi-cooked egg, is how to make a macdonalds' big breakfast egg. LOL~! well, i was making my egg just now, so apparently its not too semi-cooked yet. so i went to put it in de microwave oven and pure coincidentally, i have a nice macdonalds egg!

How to make a macdonalds' big breakfast egg:

Step 1: Boiled an egg for about 5 mins.

Step 2: Pour content of egg into a small soup bowl. (to make a round shape ^.^)

Step 3: Put the bowl inside a microwave oven and heat it for 30 secs.


AND voila! there you have it! LOL!!

Of cos, timing is all about trial and error. I make an estimation for the 5 mins on de 3/4 semi-cooked egg. it would looked watery and uncooked. =D


In addition to my semi cooked eggs, i made mocha this morning. ^^ Just to make a fulfilling breakfast~
i think i am a nerd.. =X

Friday, July 30, 2010

i suggest to all sales people that they should thoroughly understand their products before promoting to consumers.

i bought a dead sea facial wash from marina square (de shop that is in the alley near puma). Well anyway, de first saleswoman keep persuading me to buy bcos she insists that de product is good for my delicate skin. I keep telling her my only concern was about my sensitive skin. but she keep telling me that its dermatological tested, i was thinking, "so? every products have that dermatological-tested logo on."

Anyway, when i was leaving, she went to ask another saleswoman (apparently her superior) to solve my problem. That saleswoman was quite persuasive, except that she cant even pronounce de words on the products itself, thinking that she can skip over de word. keke. okay, she told de first salesgirl that i cannot use de product she just recommended but a milder facial wash. =.='' man was i lucky not to listen to de first one.

And again, she insists that its dermatological tested. I was like thinking, yes yes i know. i just want to know whats de diff btw this product and all de others that also ve de same claim. Finally, she related de products to my skin condition, eg. bodyshop natural minerals (alovera) vs this. okay so i told her i use bodyshop. and den she explain abit, cos she dont fully know de ingredients to de bodyshop products.

i finally bought de facial wash due to part of her persuasion, while thinking that its cheap and that its ingredients are natural minerals. one thing she keep insisting was de "bubbles" that is in other products, and demonstrated that their products doesnt ve de bubbles to block ur pores, or something lidat.

i should really try one, seeing that they dont ve facial sample. oh my god, if they recommended these products to other aunties, and if de other aunties dont understand what they want, they would kena "cheated". Maybe i was also being cheated, seeing how most saleswomen use de same tactic to get customers. =) (i didnt get a full set, cos i want a trial, so i only got de facial wash and a toner. but they should really provide samples to attract more customers if their products are really credible. if i were de sales manager..... LOL!)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

i know my own personality. Sometimes i didnt say anything, i know that i dont want to defend myself or make any excuses. Yet i dont want to agree as well. So often i duno what to say.

i know you dont know that, thats why ure damn frustrated. That irritated feeling of urs just make me desperate. i dunno what to do.

Negative feelings again. =(