u can always find stories to tell in your neighbourhood u know. everyday, i think so, i heard this boy argueing with his mother. i think he is only a primary sch kid lo... and he dares to shout at his mother... then i keep wondering why his father is not there to shout at him for being rude to his mother.. i only overhear him screaming why they were being unfair to him... y he cannot do this while they can... haiz... he's really screaming away u noe, so loud the whole neighbourhood can hear it lo... then there's this woman, i heard her few days ago, i think she's a maid, she was screaming and crying at the same time like those we hear on the news lo... maid being tortured... but i dunno how la... she's not on my block, somewhere near the next block, but i could hear her scream.. one moment i was going, stop that fellow who's doing this to her! stop it rite now! someone go stop them please... i wonder if her neighbour heard her and went up to check anot.. hope they did...
hmmm... another parents who fought upstairs... dunno which floor is it. how i noe? talking at the top of their voice, slamming the doors to challenge each other. that's a indian couple by the way. there's this another couple also, upstairs dunno wat race one, but i think they r on the floor above us.. slam doors... dunno whether it's the parents quarelling or father and children or mother and children quarelling.. seems very fierce that's all, happens once in a while...
a mother who always talk loudly, she's a fat woman by the way, always can hear her screaming at her child.
interesting story around the block, u'll see. and i think im always home to hear them.

im sick im sick... i dunno how im going to survive through the exam period u noe. im dying... cos i haven study every module... but since it's 2 weeks, then i'll take it slowly lo... slowly study... relax until my flu has recovered... argh... then cannot go out... 1 is becos of sickness, 2 is bcos of exam... guess have to wait until exams is over... then go shopping like hell. hahaha... and i still own someone something, that can wait also... :) teddy's bday we din get anything for him leh, kw suggests after exams then send him present but then it'll be very belated le lo... really cos we dunno wat to buy for him in the first place. definitely not any shirt cos we dunno the size of his. haiz... well, what im still worried is exams... how to pass... how to survive to next sem... haiz

*sob sob*... my sore throat got worse... i also dunno how i get this sore throat anyway... maybe during the way home under the stupid rain... haiz... anyway finally finish all the projects! yay! but got 2 more weeks then holidays... sianz. haven study yet some more... no mood sia... if i got mood, i think i'll go shopping. today want to go one.. lolx.. but no time la... must rush isns. so go home and sleep lo... holiday holiday i waiting for holidays... nvm... 我忍(wo ren)。。。

sore throat, sore throat, sore throat... hmmph hmmph... i can only type cannot talk too much... haha... fei hua... i can only type for this column wat... let's see i finish reading lemony snicket le... anyone know the movie is coming out... series of unfortunate events acted by jim carrey one... lolx imagine he is the baddie in the show... in case u haven watch the trailer, it's this story of Bauderlaire's siblings who lost their "dead" parents in a mysterious fire.. then this jim carrey is going to be their guardian who scheme to get their fortune. so these siblings trying to stop the evil Count Olaf to steal their fortune and to find the secret of V.F.D to see if one of their parents is alive anot?? alot of mysteries la... the movie somemore is combined from the books one leh... so i guess 1 book must be very short in the movie... it's actually quite long lo... cut here and there... like harry potter... haiz... opps ve i say too much?? haha... then go watch la.. quite nice la the show.. honestly... it's coming out around dec... hoho... like this typing make me also want to watch it now... hurry come out la... i want to see the funny Count Olaf... haha... the girl acted as the eldest Bauderlaire also very pretty...

yoz i got back my 2 pairs of jeans at suntec today... they were ok i guess... lolx.. nothing much to say except that we did badly for mprg interview today... *sigh*
anyway, felt better after i went suntec and cck. :p

anybody got this situation that mother says, "dun anyhow go out with boys ar..." when she knows u r meeting a guy??? how do u handle these situation when ur mother ask u abt the guys u go out with?? just go out leh... not BGR wor... lemme know if ur mother strangle u with these qns...

hoho, another day im sad, another im happy... noe y? cos i went out today... haha... and in the end i bought two pairs of jeans!! quite cheap also cos it's on a sale... wanna buy bag but haven found a suitable one.. next time i want to go back to causeway and buy that bag liao... lolxx... today what i spent is so under my budget lo... happy happy... anyway... i went to bugis again yday with kaiwen, at first wanting to buy a bday present for Teddy. but it's either expensive, so can find a suitable one.. the card we saw at bugis was damn ex... so we din buy anything... did i mention even though we din buy a present, i bought a shirt and a jacket at a U2 sale?? lolx... dunno why got so many sales nowadays... either renovation sale discount or closing sale... im nuts... haven exam and im already on a shopping spree... lolx... lucky tml going lib to study, or else dunno how to pass this sem... haiz.. anyway, wish me luck!!! money and studies... hahaha...

i dun understand adults and how they think... really not... im not old to analyse wat they r thinking abt... i just want to be a sweet 19 yrs old girl. Teenagers are supposed to be rebellious, and i want to be one. well, in such a way that i dun get control for my every single move. i just dun get it.. why do they want me to be whenever they want?? i ve my life... it's not like im totally rebellious or anything... i want to be 19... like wat my frens say... 19 liao still cannot go out until night... my parents dun allow i accept that bcos i know myself... well, not actually. but still, some things i want to be in charge... some times when i say no, i mean it... but bcos of filial piety, i still follow their instruction... what happen when im 20 plus?? do i still want to be under their control? do they want to control me for the rest of their lives... i realised y parents can force their children to their death road... bcos they make it to be... they make their path and how they are like... i noe they want their child to be perfect, but surely they noe not everyone is up to their standards... we are humans, we have flaws... i dunno how to make a good human... not everyone knows... u cant teach bcos u do not noe it urself too. sometimes when u do something, ppl will either agreed with u or be suspicious of what u think and y u did that way... u cant persuade everyone to agreed with you... what u think is right for you, do it... i dun want to be manipulated.. i really dun want to... but i dun ve a choice. everyday im tormented when i go out... i feel their eyes on me... when i look at myself in the mirror outside, i really think, "u r an ugly person inside out"... and y do i say so? cos im being manipulated in the mind... ppl make fun of me... i cant think straight, i can say that im not ugly, im a good person... ppl dunno that... the way they think is the way u behave.. u r responsible for ur own action, that's y u r manipulated... u r controlled by ppl's mind... u care what others think abt u... u do whatever u think is right to please their eye. im talking abt myself right here, right now.. bcos im angry that my mother force me to do something i dun want to do, and i dun like to do... none of the houseworks thingy, but it's the way she forces u to do... and when she got this tone to talk to you, u dun want to listen to her even more. so u just want them to shut up, shut out of your face... and u nod along and hope they ignore u if u agree to what they say.. what my brother says is right... bcos of the way she's talking to me, she make me dun want to listen to her even more. though im ur daughter, im still a human.. u want me to do this? fine. give me a reason y i must do it. u cant force me... in the end, u just get me to hate you for this.. and whatever things u explain after that wont make it up cos u r still speaking to me like that.. what do u get for this?? a filial daughter or the rebellious one? im feeling like one of those children there who finally understand what they've been through... if u all had told me, "i told u so". im filled with anger and frustration that's y i decided to pour my hearts out here. pardon me for the long essay... but i really needed to trash it out inside the diary...
i always get angry when my father says, "dun mixed with too much boys, dun let them ve the chance to drug u. precisely what happen when u stay out at night". until now i still dun get it. y is it they must think this way? if u mix only with ur frens and those trusted frens, these things wont happen rite? not if u drink with ppl u dunno... not if u got out with untrusted frens' fren. if that's really happened to u, i believe ur trusted frens will still protect u from those harm... i dun get it, y? cos i nv got the experience to get it... im not saying that i want the experience.. but ever, ever if such things were to happen, ppl must learn their lesson or they nv would get it... if u dun let me go out for just one day... assume nothing would happen if u r going out with a group of trusted frens, how would i noe if such things would really happen? i mean.. i dun want them to happen, i mean not every night will have recurring scenarios, would it? not everyone on the dark street is bad... if that is so, wouldnt i be one? so u think im bad if i were to walk out with frens in the dark night? y would anyone care abt u when all they do is do walk around the streets with their frens... u r just another passerby... u r not those regulars who go into the same bar every week.. plus u dun even go to bars/pubs... just walk where there's ppl... do u mean that i ve to be in pubs to prove that ive been out all night?? no right... frens could be sitting somewhere chitchatting.. not even in some undecent place... what could happen if u r in starbucks or any cafe?? u r just talking with frens and seriously, i dun think anyone would want to get into trouble by provoking u or something.. u r walking out there, and i dun think ppl would be stupid enough to be trying to do anything funny if there's ppl walking out there too... let's say u want to stay at a fren's hse, in this case for me, it's a gal pal. what u all would think is safe right?? ok ma... i think is alright.. but nooooooo, my parents would ve this outrageous thinking -- not ok, what if the father is a pervert?? i mean a trusted fren's father cannot be right... where got so many these kind of cases happen one... if convenience is what they r afraid of, we r only staying for the night not the whole day... they dunno ur frens they would say, do i ve to bring them back to tell u which one is approving to ur eyes?? if one look can tell if the person is bad anot, u might as well go be a psychiatrist... haiz... go out with them say nv see them b4... bring my frens back and u will be not happy abt it.. then what should i do?? bring u out to show them instead?? dun think of me as ur forever filial daughter who will always do ur bidding... if one day im not, dun get disappointed bcos u r asking for the impossible.. dun ever say, what has happen to u? in the past, u were so obedient, now u r like rebelling to whatever i ve to say.. ppl can change. and change into someone u dun expect them to be and when it's not when u wanted it to happen... that's life...
im back to myself, i ve already pour my bloods out... im being 19. even if im not, im just being me... i cant bring myself to reality.. i want to live where i want to live in. that's me.

im so happy... not bcos weba project is over... but is bcos i spent some money which i haven done it for like hundred years already... then i cheated a watch out of my mother's purse... hahaha... cos i really want a new watch wat... cant blame me... anyway im gonna keep spending until i spend all... well, not all, maybe left a few bucks... gonna go shopping this sat... cannot tahan already... i wanna buy some more things to fa xie u noe...


i realise i sounded like a happy sec sch student... haha... what matters is im glad enough...