its amazing how our relationship is reaching 1 yr soon.. what feel like a few months ago that we started it.. we only had a few ups and downs(cos they r abt the same reason) not like major conflict like some couples do.. or maybe its still during the honeymoon period which may last up to 1-2 years i guess.. im not old yet but im not young either.. its time to be thinking abt the future.. i believe u girls r thinking the same way too right.. that horoscope is right, when i found my true love, i will not let go.. sometimes i will start to think abt having a family already.. and having to educate my children make my life happier.. lately, i ve been thinking life is tiring at work or in social life.. which is y u need ur family to support u too..

in the past, i love getting older.. now i want to stop getting old.. but mainly thinking that studying life is the best days in ur entire life.. and the age we r in now suppose to ve the most out of it.. we ve responsibilities as we get old, but right as this age its not to the point that we ve to fulfil those responsibilities.. until we ve our own families.. when we were young, we dun ve the senses yet to make out of the world.. now we do and we ve the choices to do things that we like.. until we ve our own families.. age 18-24 is da best age in our life.. haha.. dun let them go to waste man..

well, time to sleep.. good nite.. =)

Well happy new year everyone..

although its cny, i dun ve the mood and i am so disturbed.. by the fact that i still ve upcoming mock exams and that my bf is still daoing me online.. aniways shall summarize what happen these 2 days..

chuyi.. woke up early by my ssttupiddd bro.. it turned out he wanted to eat breakfast opposite as early as possible, say 8am? -.- anyway, after they came back.. we prepared to go to my grams hse for lunch.. had lunch and play daidee the whole afternoon.. went home ard 4 plus.. and then which my father's side relatives came to bai nian and ve dinner..

chuer.. again, woke up quite early.. but not by my bro.. its bcos we r going to the temple to visit my grams(father's side).. left the haiyin shi ard 11 plus and took a cab down to tampines which my aunt's family live.. had steamboat and played the game where u guessed the total number of dices and then the loser would ve to be hit(by the plastic hand of cos).. this game is shown on scv hosted by xu nai ying and zheng guo cheng(those who ve scv would noe what im talking abt)..

anyway, left the place at 4 plus and took cab to the west.. my father wanted to go home so we took the taxi back home first b4 heading to jp.. its early to go my po po's hse so went jp for a walk.. nth is open.. 'cept for watson, guardian, body shop, toys'rus, mac, pizzahut, delifrance(basically the multinational companies) etc.. went to wait for taxi at the taxi stand to go to my po po's place.. ate dinner at her hse and watched some tv.. and come back around 8 plus le..

shall continue updating tmr.. good nite and gong xi fa cai..

y guys r just insensitive creatures? the book i saw in kino is true.. "its obvious to see that a woman is hurt, but it takes for a slap, some tears or barking to let men noe that they r upset" , "a guy said, i din say anything and yet my wife noes that im upset"

i dun think he even care whether we meet during cny anot.. maybe he can be satisfy with only 1-2 hrs of companionship.. but i cant.. i need plenty of time to be with him.. i rather we not meet up at all if its such a short time.. ok lo... ok what? why not bother at all? why nonchalent attitude? i dun get it at all.. my ex always dunno what im thinking abt.. now i make it clear for dear to noe what im thinking abt and all i get is nothing.. no response.. what am i supposed to do? inside i feel so pent-up and disppointed.. y do i feel like i dun exist? do u even care? u can even criticise me for being too whiny.. i just want u to reply u get it? i feel so helpless.. i dunno what to do.. i need to open up more.. although i dun really need ur reply, i need ur heart to listen what my heart is feeling.. right now, its bleeding.. can u hear it? i always tell myself to give up waiting for ur reply.. but i really want to hear something.. like "hows ur day?" n not "haha" in every sentence u reply..

u dun even communicate with me much on msn when u r at home.. at least a good nite when u offline then i'll noe i stand a place in ur heart.. u r already taking 3/4 of my heart already.. so i hope to gain that too in urs.. sometimes i think i offer too much in this r/s.. but i also tell myself that u too put effort in.. pls make our love continually hoping for everyday.. i am not discourage, i am just disappointed.. u r just like a total different person when u r at home.. i always thought that u r at home, we can talk more.. however thats not the case... i... want to break down already.. pls talk to me..

gong xi fa cai o..

yday, went to jp with mum n dad to continue their nian huo shopping.. ate at crystal jade for dinner.. then papa went to buy his watch at citychain.. headed to liberty after that.. finally went home around 9pm.. the roads linking to my avenue street is jam.. cos alot of ppl is going opp my hse for last min shopping.. i din really notice that my hse there is an attraction until now.. =.=

had no mood to study for the whole of yday and today and the rest of cny.. shall rest until wed and then continue studying again..

met dear, love, dan n yq to go cityhall for shopping.. we went suntec and ate at kfc.. i bought a belt and a blouse at this fashion.. thx to love for her membership card =) wallked for a while and went bugis and which dear left for his cny eve dinner.. waited for yq to get his yusheng and then went kino for a while.. which we went home shortly after..

just finished my sumptous meal.. looking forward for the night and then chuyi and chuer..

again, i wish all a HAPPY CNY!

my hope for vday did come true~! =D

the day b4 vday i was baking cookies with my cousins.. had a nice time baking =) and chitchatting.. and of cos they ve a NICE time playing with the massage chair hor..
my mum came home to supervise the baking(she scared her kitchen tio burnt) lol.. anyway, went to jp after eating dinner.. bought some neccessary items for the cookies.. and me n xx bought a bag each! so happy.. cos ive been looking for cny bag for nearly 2 mths already haha...

received red roses around the mid-morning of vday.. delivery of cos.. and dear booked out for the night.. we went opposite to eat mac for dinner.. wierd hor.. haha.. nvm la.. as long as he's there can le.. he booked in again around 10pm..

nice week.. cos its vday n cny week... LOL ar... mai tok cock liao.. go study.. later going jp for more cny stock up.. :P CIAU..

i found this while looking thru my past posts.. and i realised its mostly accurate for me.. ever since i posted it and its becoming more n more true..


VIRGO WOMAN She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance. A slim woman who walks with confident and proud. She has an egg shape facial structure, high and round forehead. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a pretentious type and will always say what she thinks.

You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection. She is very delicate of what and how she dress. She is bright and easily despair with obstacles. She likes smart guy who will be compatible with her, so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now.

She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expects respect from her love one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she will always keep a certain distant. Act proper and appropriate is her discipline.

She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase. She likes a gentleman who opens the doors for her. She wants to feel protected and when a man taking care of her, she will feel like a complete woman.

She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well. She can really keep secret, you can trust her on this. She likes a refreshing and a mild scent. She is very delicate in maintaining her beauty, so you could see she is seriously picking soap which match and most suit her skin. Do not comment her on this very picky habits, it is her happiness in working full times as a self beautifier.

She is not an innocent angle for sometimes she can be as tough as steel. Even she easily despair, she is not the type to cry over it. She is a shy type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even she walks and talks confidently.

She only searches for true love, not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angle again. If you have a date with her, you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry, make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up event, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can.

let me clarify myself again..

if u guys probably dun know or dun understand.. its not by choice that im freaking slow.. im just born to be slow n weak.. which is y i depends on ppl sometimes.. im hurt that my mum actually thinks that i want to be dependent on ppl.. do u know its hard to ask ppl for help? thats its embarrassing? u dun think that i do not want to help too? but everytime i try to help, ppl would just say "nvm la.. u go sit down. leave it to us."

do u noe that feeling when u arent able to help but stand around doing nth? which is y i always offer to wash up after a bbq/clear up the mess or something like that..

and y is it i always go stand ard doing nth when they told me to do so? cos i noe myself well.. its either my assistance to them is a hinder(slow) or make it even worse.. im abit irritated when ppl say, "aiya give it to me la.. im faster lor.."

its forgivable when ppl i dunno too well complain abt me.. but i really hope that u guys understand cos u ve known me for so long already.. i really appreciate u guys for helping me.. i really do.. sometimes u guys r just auto when it comes to me.. LOL like im chan fei or something *okay thats a joke*

do u get now y i cannot drive a car? or ride a bike? or carry a hot soup? or even stand still? its the same logic.. i cannot balance well and my hands r a whole lot shaky than u guys do.. like old ppl sia.. =(

but the best thing that happens to me is that, god gave me something good in return.. which is a guy that truly loves me for who i am, and having a great family and friends around..


sometimes i really do wish that im normal enough.. if ppl see me, they would just see my beauty and not my legs.. darn.. i hate that feeling.. sometimes they just stare at ur leg and u like u r an alien..
and sometimes they just stare at me bcos i walk like an idiot..

which is y my mum always say, "ni mei you she mo yong? ren jia yao kan ni qiang zhuang he jian kang ma.." its not totally her fault when she scolds me.. its just im like that what.. what to do.. its not that i dun wanna eat.. i just cant eat.. *to cousins: diff from minghan hor.. he just dun wanna eat*


i think i blog abt this some time ago.. haha.. cos i rmb what i typed at that time.. aiya, oh and god bless me a fairly good brain as well so i can go study now =.=

i dunno y but i am full of hope for tmr although i know exactly that nothing much will happen.. i keep thinking that alot of surprises will come.. although i know perfectly well that my dear is not a romantic person. and there i am, experiencing my vday(first with him) at home.. the first time thing always matter to me, and somehow theres always barrier to these first-time wishes with him.. my first(with kev) xmas was 2006 and nth really much happen, my first new yr with him was 2007 and although we manage to see the fireworks, i wasnt very much happy cos i wish for something more.. his first bday celebration with me should be him preparing for ndp.. our first yr anniversary should be me studying at hm.. y is there always something obstructing my first-time wishes? i hope for our first time cny together shouldnt be bad n hope that he can see that our first moments together are always not satisfying.. somehow i feel depressing again.. when its time for all this occasions.. nth will change.. nth will change..

i aim on getting 45-50 but somehow i dunno leh.. how to get second upper with scores like that?? *sigh* maybe second lower will do.. how how..

did my ibm paper today.. 7-10pm.. 4 out of 10 qns.. i noe how to do them but somehow my mind keep on forgetting stuff when i studied for 2 weeks liao.. every qn though is only 1 1/2 - 2 pages.. they require us to at least write 5 pages in total to hand in or else not submit it to uol LOL i realised my essay sucks.. i can see ppl writing up to 3 pages per qn sia -.- i forgot lots of stuff which is y the only limited choice was the one i know.. im surprised that my frens noe other qns as well.. lol must be me la.. i just cant memorize leh.. and i just cannot write sophiscated answers.. darn.. gotta learn how to write ar.. just b4 the final, must keep on trying n trying.. thats it liao.. after the whole mock exam im going to do the past yr papers.. that way i can write better answer next time.. haiz.. crap man.. and i ve no practical ans to relate.. my mind was so blank i cant think of a thing.. i think i studied too much without even trying to memorise much.. shite.. aiya this mock exam can pass can le la.. gotta go le.. cya guys.. =)

crap la.. i feel so frustrated rite now.. been studying everyday for 2 whole weeks already.. still got 1 more chap to go.. mon is the mock exam already..

and then dear only can booked out for 1 day.. and that i can only study at home to finish the last chap.. and then as usual he is ultra late when he noes i got dinner later.. so our time is getting shorter this week.. i hate this.. always like that.. i wish he could ord faster..

today's weather is "good".. its so good that its making me dizzy and frustrated.. i cant concentrate on my notes.. maybe i just need to go downstair for fresh air.. wah then that stupid hot weather!! who wanna go under that blazing sun! so im at home, pacing up n down... dunno what to do.. n cos im waiting for dear to come so that i could meet him downstairs..

going to my po po's hse later in the evening for an advance eve dinner haha.. we always "lao yu sheng" so early one.. bro just came back and then gone out for lunch with his frens at pariss international.. =_=''

currently following the current taiwan drama "hua yang shao nian shao nu"... episode 12 is out already n i ve watched it online.. haha.. anyway, its from a manga.. i ve downloaded that manga too.. LOL.. of cos the chars in manga are better looking than the drama characters.. the story got too many flaws already.. imagine they nv saw rui-xi going to the toilet b4.. and its not stated lo.. how could they possible not noticed that she hadnt go in a guy's toilet b4? n the way she talks, walks, basically her actions just tell the audience that shes a girl already.. however theres a few guys, not from the sch, treated her as a girl la.. i mean, if these guys noe, how could the guys in sch not know that shes a girl? ok, enough abt that show le.. wanna find out ar.. then go watch it lo.. haha..

gotta try studying again.. cya guys.. =)

LOL 14 feb is a guy's nightmare.. but a girl also ve to give prez rite? thats the tradition in sg unlike japan.. haha..

aniways, valentines coming, hoping u guys r having a great time on that day itself.. cos i cant =( dear celebrating vday in outfield.. lol.. i celebrating vday by studying at home.. wah piang eh.. =.=

just a thought: the greatest gift on earth for a woman is a guy's thoughtfulness.. ironically, most guys do not ve them. get what i mean? And what guys would like women to ve, is to stop wishing them to ve thoughtfulness.. LOL.. these r actual facts that most men n women cant achieve.. i realised based on this assumptions, conflict on r bound to occur regarding this issue.. im one of those women.. haha.. u girls agree?

oh oh btw... i was going to ask u one qn.. ans me honestly: u think my relationship with kev is going to last forever?

cos i do think many of ur relationships r really going to last.. say like betty, jo n kw.. i just want ur views on mine like how i view urs..

and some future thinking.. after grad, worked for 1-2 yrs, moved out(with the support of my parents of cos, both finance and agreement haha.. i just rmb what my mum agreed)..
however i ve no clue as what i should be working as.. for a start-out experience.. was thinking abt IT personnel.. then again, i refer back to my last attachment and i feel totally disgusted by that idea.. LOL.. since im studying management too.. so i can get a job in HR?? then again, my personality dun suit any of the HR requirements.. i'll be better off in a cubicle with a computer.. im an introvert ma..

speaking of introverts, i often wondered y humans ve to be extroverts? to blend into the environment? cannot be a quiet quiet sort of person meh.. i like being me.. i hate trying to reach out to other ppl.. y be so fake? y r u being someone u r not? just be urself la.. i noe its the society and all.. they dehumanise u.. (sry, using socie term haha) but its just not me man.. ppl r borne to be unique, u cant change them like a leopard cant change its spots.. my point is: y r ppl trying to be nice to others when they dun even want to? oh god.. ibm n socie just went past my mind.. globalisation, personalities.. blah blah.. argh!! i dun wanna to know all that! although i noe exactly y u ve to change.. but i just dun wanna admit change in personalities for the sake of changing! urgh.. y is there societies? LOL i think i studied too much la.. please, if u get what i meant, leave comments.. i noe what i meant.. but do u noe? i ought to be an analyser.. these things goes thru my mind everytime..

n then i'll come to an end.. y is there humans? wahaha.. questions that will nv be solved.. u want solution? just live ur life as it is la.. stop asking qns..

y is there starvation and mass killings in some countries? y arent ppl doing anything? y r ppl bystanding? oh god, societies.. although theres a lot of explanations for those qns.. and these probs r nv ending.. i was watching these clip during socie and psycho lessons.. and man, those r cruelty! there r inequalities everywhere.. ethics problem.. society discriminations.. thousands n thousands of qns that could nv ve solutions! living in singapore is really blissful already.. looked at other countries! we dun ve natural disasters, no bombing or mass killings(well, at least its over).. lack of resources maybe.. cos we dun ve our own ma.. so we survive thru imports.. no mass unemployment which lead to the inability to survive.. politics n economics r controlled by the govt.. what we can only do is to complain our lives in sg could be better! ppl r migrating to other places.. where in fact, theres no other place safer than in SG.. one sgh scholar just died in some country, see what i mean? urm, globalisation starts flooding my head again.. shuddup brain.. im trying to give my pt of view..

in any case.. (i forgot what i was trying to say..) oh yeah.. thinking of these issues, suddenly i want to be a member in the green environmental organisation.. like greenpeace, or the UN(read the goals of the UN, thats just plainly what im talking abt..)

i suddenly get a feel out of all these.. i think its the society education ive been getting.. twisting my mind.. haha.. kk i gotta go..

last sat went to holland v's settlers with dear and his frens. waited for them and went to the nearest hawker to ve lunch. were playing this game abt the first player to get on the boat with all ur tokens wins the game. and then we were playing a dog's life, and lastly, catlan i think.. something abt bulding 8 towers first and u win the game. the first 2 game was really fun, i was getting abit tired so i din concentrate on the third game. anyway, went to bugis after that, which was ard 5 pm.. was abit paiseh looking ard for bags with 3 guys following u ard.. lol.. and luckily got clara, their fren to accompany me too. soon clara left to go for her family dinner. me n dear n his frens went to eat at food court, and then went to the arcade after that.. was there for ard 1 hr plus then dear n i left first.. walked home from lakeside. felt glad cos its been such a long time since we last walked me home.

mon went to sch and then after that ate at mac ard king's albert park. i was taking the 157 home when the guy sitting next to me, ask me abt my bag. haha. and then we chatted. or rather he keep talking.. 20 yrs old, ORD from ns le, currently working at standard chartered, blah blah. anyway, he was going to toh guan rd, so he asked me how to get there. 157 dun go je so i told him to alight somewhere near chinese garden. aiya, wierd fella. lol.

yday was stats last lesson. ended ard 4pm(early rite cos its should be until 4.30). i forgot to register for UOL revision for final exam until wantian told me abt it.. luckily yday was the last day, i think. and kw n her fren were going to register after sch. so i followed her to the lib lo.. i could log in to the eRev system already so i booked my slot first(my course was supposedly to start the day b4 so i can log in already) kw n her fren still cant so they gotta wait until 6 to log in to the eRev. girls, rmb the days when we choose elective in poly? it was also quite late haha.

i went home ard 6.30 so i was trying to coordinate kw's slot with mine haha.. then we realised ibm revision is at night time ='( luckily its only 2 days. i had some slots during the weekends also.. sad.. should ve done it the day b4.. went to clementi first to top up my ezlink and then took 99 home.. reached home ard 8.

aiya dun say liao.. time to study another chap again. GANBATEH!!!

i guess i will start to understand more now.. i ve started to accept things the way they are.. and stop demanding too much.. those r in my new year's resolution anyway..

maybe its bcos my mind is preoccupied with sch rite now that i dun ve much time to think abt other stuffs... haha..

trust, hope and faith is the most impt thing in a relationship.. so my friend, hold on to them =)
and of cos u cannot omit consideration, commitment and compromise..

i cant tell u how.. i can only tell u the terms.. i trust myself with these terms too.. i believe me n dear have most of it.. so im believing in our r/s.. and will nv let go =)

oh another thing.. whenever u ve difficulty in understanding ur partner, always rmb that men and women r different.. so there's not always right or wrong.. forgiving is the best policy.. that way u wont make the both of u upset and irritated.. the sad thing is alot of couples dun realise this.. which is why they often end up separated.. i really do hope ppl who go into a real relationship will be blessed.. im not saying that theres no conflict.. just lesser compiling probs.. bless u guys as well as for me =)

stress~~!

gonna study 3 more chaps this week.. done 1 chap already.. =|

on a lighter note.. dear booked out on tue for a few hours.. my bro also booked out on tue cos he going to cmpb to retake some tests the next day..

so happy =P i came back from sch on tue, and after shower, he called to say he coming my hse..

his com is back here so we played some games haha..

he booked back in ard 9pm.. i'll be seeing u again on sat =p

gw came back ard 10.30pm though so they din meet haha..

wed went meet xx go jp to take my glasses.. gw went cmpb le..

the shop haven open yet so we went to eat lunch and then waited for my bro to join us..

however, xx gotta go meet her fren so left us after gw arrived..

we went to take my specs and then went to billibombers to eat.. not me of cos..

went down to liberty to buy some stuff for his area cleaning.. he used my mum's ntuc voucher so din spend any money... haha..

went home and watched friends.. too bored la.. i just no mood to study although im trying to lol..

around 4pm, my bro booked in.. im alone again until sat =(

today is just going to sch lor.. came back and then too tired to study anymore.. shall study again tmr.. haiz..