i cried on sunday while watching hui jia, the korean movie. it's abt a unmarried mother who was jobless. she brought her only son to her mother so she can go back to the city and find job cos bringing a son with her is a huge burden. this son, sang woo, is a very terrible unfeeling boy. he doesnt treats his grandma well.. oh by the way, his grandma is a mute. so sangwoo dun get what his grandma is trying to say... however, this boy which is, maybe 3 years, older, is a neighbour, and would often brought things from home to the grandma. soon, sangwoo learned that him and another girl, which he appeared to like, are quite close. he played a trick on him, but when that boy found out, sang woo apologised the first time using his grandmother's hand sign. that boy, of cos, understand.. when sangwoo apologised verbally, the neighbour says he doesnt need to say sorry twice..
another scene was when sangwoo had used up his batteries while playing his game n looked the village for it but they dun ve the small n round batteries.. so he went home begging for his gram for money to buy. in fact, his grandma had little money, so they went to the market to sell some fruits. it's a scene where the grandma used her hard earn money to buy good shoes n food for her grandson. in the later part, he felt very guity that he threw the shoes away.
the sad part is when sangwoo went market with his grandma n saw the two friends together. being wanting to be with the girl, he stubbornly told his grandma that he wanted to sit home on the bus with them. so his gram told the other boy to bring sangwoo home while she had things to do.. sangwoo waited for his grandma to come home but she came home very late.
his grandma actually walked home.
there's once when sangwoo wanted to eat kfc n his grandmother had to go to the market n buy the chicken n it rained when she came home. so she was lying sick in bed. of cos, sangwoo who become a better boy, looked after her..
of cos, the part where i cried the most is when they r parting lar... this story is just abt the relationship btw the naughty son and the mute grandma... n as time passed, the grandson develop feelings for his gram. so when the time come for him to return home, he taught his gram to write to him. she couldnt write, i assume she's a retard, so he gave her the many postcards for her to send to him.. on it, he drew pictures n write words like "i miss u", "im sick".. so he will noe when grandma is sick n will go to her instantly...
the movie is so overwhelming, i think it's the first time i cried so hard while watching a show. haha.. well, if u guys had watch it, it's a good show rite? if u haven, i recommend u go buy the vcd or just dl the movie... haha... i described the overview le... gtg cya...

went suntec with jo, jj, bet, kw, cs, yq n yvonne to sing...
everyone was late so we start around 12 n end ard 3. they gave us a big room which is good. the bad thing is, we need to set them up by ourselves... lousy service they ve... anyway, after that, took 111 to parkmall cos jj wanna buy her nuskin product. cs went home to do project.. u think he really go home? im not sure... haha.. went ps to eat something... i had orni. others than bet had fried ice cream. soon after, jo n kw left.. u noe... betty is waiting for her frens to go eat and watch movie while still at ps. so the three of us went to look for daniel at the arcade.. when we came out, we saw yq n yvonne.. stand there for a while, looking at the dumb jimmy road show... then me n jj walked to taka... i went to meet my mum n bro, while she wanted to get to the lib... however after some thinking, she din want to go there after all.. n so we splitted..
well, had ajisen for dinner after searching disagreeingly around the food court.. n then walked around the top level to look at sport stuff.. too bad nothing attracts me... meanwhile, my bro just went kino to look for books. i dunno y but i just hate to go book store or lib with them... maybe i just dun want to look at books when they r around... well, n so my mum n me sat down for 20 mins b4 i rushed him to go home... haha.. went watson to buy that french manicure n a facial wash n headed home... somehow after i painted my nails, then the color seems odd on my finger, only the white is ok... maybe i should change another color which match my skin.. should nv ve listen to my bro... -_-''..
oh yeah... joanne gave me this lovely present which im still wearing now... haha... it's a dangling earring... (for those of u who dunno, it's soon to be my bday, yea) oh i took it out, i forgot. i tot im still wearing it. well, ciau...

i was here... okok... longer lar... i went to sch when there's no lesson so i came home to do project n yay! well u can guess the sentence is i did it! yea... oh i still ve other projects... my drawing sucks n im needed to draw comics for MGEP.. haha... i wonder if jerrick can draw while i just tell him my story... hahaha... (oh jerrick's my teammate)
well i tried drawing, it is simply lousy... i ve no talent in drawing, not like kenneth or vincent... crap wat talking me... tml going singing again... haha... cya tml if im gonna update again... lolx...

You have shy beauty.You are pretty intimidated when
it comes to guys(or girls if you're
lesbian).You are a very good friend with the
few you probably have;you don't have a few
because you're selfish or anything but because
you're so shy and prefer not to strike up
conversations.None the less you are a very
beautiful person inside and out:)
Good traits:Caring,kind,a good listener
Bad traits:Secretive,insecure,too quiet


What kind of beauty do you have?(Anime pics)4 girls but boys can take it if they really must
brought to you by Quizilla

when i woke up this morning.. i found out that my life is pretty much de same... cos i had the opposite dream last night which i did not expected. well, when u had the opposite dream of ur life, u actually live another of ur own... and finally yea... it's real... real life sucks.. doesnt it... i plan to be better in my next life... haha.. this life just is gone... unless i really make the changes i want them to be. n in less than a month's time, im gonna be 20... sucks again.. cos it signify the time to grow up... hahaha... oh gosh... i wonder wat i can do in the future... meaning my career, my life... now is just urgh urgh urgh... feels terrible... if i can start afresh, really, i wont be me again.

im so bumped today... dunno whether it's the sickness that make me moody or the relationship im holding onto.. i luv him, i noe he luv me... but our personalities just doesnt match.. now then i realised i haven done much for him.. n i would want to... consider how long and attached these has been... but my head always clouded me in some way... i will try to be more caring, i do... well... now everything seems to be about me now... im the utimate uncaring person one could ever find on earth... y do i even ve a relationship in the first place? or rather y me? im asking the existence of myself... wat do i do for this world? i noe nth... nth abt a living n treacherous life of a normal human being... n now i am... wondering about happily or maybe sadly in my own world... i dun really care wat's going on ard me... who and who is doing wat... y do i care? but now i noe i must try... or else my existence proves nth... i seriously is naive... absolute idiot in the world who doesnt noe wat the hell she's doing... dunno a single thing abt emotions, moods, things revolving ard me, even a little common sense doesnt exist in my tiny little head... im a sad sad loser... i dun really get motivated to do something... cos im just lazy... n to think i go n read that book n nv finish... it's "Emotional guide" to guide urself to think better... and doesnt prove effective for me... cos i dun understand the meaning and i dunno how to apply wat's there... do u think im a sadist? yes i think u do... i talk nonsense every here n then... doesnt noe how to communicate effectively and properly... omg... hit me... HIT me... n tell me how to me a better man... i really dun take the hard way... for if u just scream into my head... i'll just go "oh, wat the heck" u r just screaming... but if u were to talk to me seriously, i would rather consider those that say... i can joke ard yea... but take me seriously, i would really try... god... i was wondering when i really do a thing that i wanted to do? who m i kidding? me? serious? no... it's not a joke... i want to revamp myself... n i noe it's a hard thing for me to do... u see, even i think i m lazy... that's y i need dozen of helps.. to help me open my eyes and see the world that im supposed to be looking out for... i wanted for help for a long time... but did i ever try by myself? no... how to even try when i dunno a single thing? or m i just kidding again? i dun even noe myself... who's to judge me? i'll just go... u dun even noe me... how could u say that? but mostly, if i really reflect on myself... it's mostly my fault u noe... who ask me not to learn things ? who ask me not to read and study? i admit wrong, but really do i wholeheartedly admit it? no... i dun even noe if im right or wrong? who's to differ? human makes mistakes n the slightest mistakes that we dun even noe we make them n nv realise it... not even noe whether it's right or wrong... it's based on principles and ethics... come to think of it... do i ve principles? i dun stick to one... so i guess no... im so bumped rite now... i just keep on typing without knowing what im saying... i just want to say everything out... i keep everything to myself that i wanna burst... but when i say things out.. do ppl ever listen? would u want to hear a girl crying for help? crying as in really crying? i nv been helpless in all my life... well, not all, just one quarter... arhh... i want to say everything... everything!!! i know it's already quite full of rubbish and nonsensical things but still i want to type! i want to say how wrong i ve been in the life im living... i want to do something but lazy to do... i need help but no one can help me... wat shall i do?!! i want to scream... i cried and it's no use... i only noe how to cry and cry... wat's really the point? no one is able to see the sadness there... no one is able understand what im going thru... tell me if im wrong... everyone's been there, arent u guys? sometimes u think u r a loser... n u dunno wat to do... n ppl r just there blaming u for stuffs u did wrong.. n still u dunno how to amend it? gosh.. this is so frustrating... im a sad sad naive naive, tell-me-to-go-to-hell girl.. i cannot change to another person... i just couldnt... but i couldnt go with that attitude anyway, i could get kick out of whoever im with.... im going to die... i totally m so busted... HELP HELP!!! who can HELP me!!!

went to sch today... obviously im not in the best mood, bcos of u noe... ugh sick sick sick... din talk really much... might hurt someone's feeeling :(
is that call excuses? did i make them up? well, i din... really... cos i just dun wanna talk... when i noe if i open my mouth, those coughing sound will just come out... or maybe spit will get to the ground... hahaha... no lar... not that disgusting...
did it really sound just like me or did i make up again? argh... i dunno how to talk anymore...

anyway, went to seng's hse for mahjong session... well, long time nv play le ma... it's boring soon cos we nv play money... lolx... went home at 8... n expected... got scolded for not taking care of myself... cos after getting home.. i just keep on coughing n coughing... it was well during the day... no coughing can be heard from me... haha... urgh... my intestines r coming out of my mouth.. well, theorically... cos when it gets bad... i get stitches... meaning my gastric pain.. even talking abt it is bad... gtg cya...

well... saw something in kw's blog which now make me realised...
i appreciate wat u did for me... i really do... maybe im not that fast to realised it.. in another words, slow lar... i wont write mushy things in this blog... it's just not my type of thing... but i'll just say thanks for everything n sorry, my dear...

I'll nv break your heart~ i'll nv make u cry~ yes thanks i heard it and sang it... it's nice... yea, long time no hear... oh i gotta dl it... tell me the songs we nv hear zillions times ago so i can go dl them..

ssick, absolutely... man... n no one care... sobx... u guys make of stone or wat... esp that 3 cousins of mine... if u r reading this, u better msg to ask how i am.. yea...
anyway, been sick n sleeping for 144 hours n still haven recover.. sucks... im not the worse, i guess... but still.. im sick! urgh... it feels terrible.. oh gosh... n i wont leave a single cent when i die!(guess u ppl dun want also... u all dun want my ipod, my laptop, my hp, etc..)

~I'll never break your heart~
~I'll never make you cry~
~I'd rather die than live without you~
~I'll give you all of me~
~Honey, that's no lie~

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