你要的愛

作詞：戴佩妮　作曲：戴佩妮

雖然經常夢見妳　還是毫無頭緒
外面正在下著雨　今天是星期幾
But I don`t know 你去那裡

雖然不曾懷疑你　還是忐忑不定
誰是你的那個唯一　原諒我懷疑自己

我明白　我要的愛　會把我寵壞
像一個小孩　只懂在你懷裡壞

你要的愛　不只是依賴
要像個大男孩　風吹又日曬　生活自由自在

lol yday watched 2 movies with cy n seng.. we watched munich at 540 and final dest 3 at 940... but we met 2 something wor... so hanged out in mos burger for 2 hours.. wahaha...
munich is okay la... 'cept for the part where they nearly blow up the wrong person, it should be the father and not the young daughter.. lolx... and gross lar.. saw the blood and the hanging limbs where they went to check that everything was okay... yea, it is a M18 show... final 3 also... final 3 is when u noe some gross death is going to happen to a person, but u dunno how... so when u saw those parts, u really wanna vomit... haha... i anticipated for the next death scene... but i covered my face wahaha... actually i already noe how he's going to be killed, just dun want to see the head being cut off... yuck...
anyway, munich was taken from the book, based on true story, but they cut alot so there's still mystery to the movie... like u dunno who the person is working for when he provided the assassins information. u dunno whether he's a friend or foe.. cos after that, the hunters were being hunted at the later part of the show... then u nv see the relationship between the male lead and his family... whether the prime minister is his mother or not... is that y she told him to go to hunt those terrorists? haha... heck care le... i tink i might want to borrow the book and finish it during the hols... lolx... 4 more days to go... hehe...

wah yday went to eat at cine's yuki yaki... again... yeah... was xx's bday ma... so went to celebrate... had the icecream buffet also... but the ice cream not nice one... terrible... not eating ice cream there ever again.. i think i din eat enough... ar nvm lar... xx happy can liao... haha... i went home and online for half hour... very dumb rite.. lol... it becomes a habit liao lar... come home sure sit in front of com one... thats enough for yday... 4 more days to go... hooray... but i not happy today... no one wanna go out with me.. i damn sad lar... tml also... say wat go ktv or sentosa but they not free... then go wat lar... nvm still got next week... looking forward to eat at the sushi shop again... yea sushi again... and erm redang... redang is okay lar... except not as keen as during thai trip last time... but more ppl r going this time round i hope... think the cost would be SGD300(not including shopping, theres nth to shop anyway; wat can u shop at an island?) haha... anyway, hope more ppl got more money and the availability to go... i always like crowd haha... haiya talk to much le... gotta go le... bb

i realise people talk to me they will vomit blood... haha... either i dun get it or the words din go inside my computer system or half in, the others all out... then when i repeat the same qns again they will say, "har? I just told u wat..." then shake head... lolx... i darn sad la... im lucky that they haven gone bonkers yet... or just say, "i dun want talk to u liao lar.. u 4eva like that one" aiyo... i think my brain not good... or my ear shit too much... cannot hear properly... lolx... gotta go check... haha... hmmm... sian... thurs already... 1 more day to weekends.. ciau

bloody me bloody me bloody me... -_-'''
im still a primary sch kid living a primary sch kid life.. bloody hell... grow up is no good... i dun want to be mummy... lolx... im talking like a kid... mummy! give me something to eat!!! hahaha...

not talking liao lar... some body just dao me and went thru my sch things... and that person noe who that is... blehx... i dun mean to say i wont say anything bad abt u... i shouldnt ve say that...

still thinking abt bloody bloody me...

i want to leave here liao leh.. y y? boss give me more work to do.. not that i mind.. but its simply pile up ones... -_-'' Nvm i hurry up finish them then chao... lolx

i am forever the 16-year old girl who needs protection and reminder.. =P

"A person may age but he can be immature forever."

Virgo : "She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase."

That's really true. I cannot stand words like "oei" or "wtf" or similar types lar... I wouldnt say that i dun like so u cannot tell... haha... They are really unpleasant and rude words la... I dun even say them... haha... aiya... wat m i talking sia... cya

sometimes its to meaningless at the office that i want to get out of there as soon as possible. and now, what the heck? just wait patiently for 2 more weeks...

i submitted my application form yday to NTU and NUS. will be sending the documents by post on monday. yea filled the form for SIM too, but have to attach photos to it. since the deadline is 31 Mar, i dun need to hurry. I hope if i send the documents on Mon to NUS, they would receive them by tue, cos thats the deadline. haha. if not, so be it.. i applied psych for NTU, arts and social science for NUS, and IS & management for SIM. lol.. the probability that i will get into NUS is probably 30%, NTU 50%, SIM 70? haha. aiya.. just get in either one can already..

meanwhile, trying to find work to kill the next 4 months.. i accidentally evedropped on my colleague the other day.. he stays alone in simei n hes only 25 this year. the previous job really earn him quite a bulk.
noe y it sounds surprise? cos he went to U, n had just graduated few months ago, and he managed to live alone.. yea, he had a job going on during his Uni life. A partnership in music. cool rite..

haha. so i wonder, if i could only earn 20000+ annually b4 i turn 24, that would be great.. but how come so little? cos i need to waste my precious 4 years to study. lol.. if its a course tat i really like and learn from it, then i dun mind.. i do really want to move out on my own.. dun ask me y... i just do... maybe bcos i see a few of my single aunts moving out on their own.. and they earn quite alot..

now life is just boring... crappy.. lolx..

In a eager mood to get out of here. Since there's nth related for me to do... 2more weeks... Endure!

i always wanted to laugh when im alone.. so bad... cos u look at the ppl ard you and u wonder away... haha... wait wait... dunno wat i talking abt ar. give u example.

yday, i saw this guy on the train carrying something like a boat paddle... then i was wondering, "wah, y he carrying that sia? To slap wenzi(mosquitos) ar..." the paddle was huge wat... so i tot of wenzi lor... or house fly...

then today, i saw 3 hilarious things and make me just wanna giggle away. firstly, i saw this girl wearing all red.. a red spaghetti, a red poked dots skirt.. darn act cute... just a look and "wah, so red! she still in the mood for cny is it..." lol..

2nd, i continued walking underground the raffles mrt station, when i saw this tall lady tapped a tall big-size man by the shoulder and started to talk to him. i thought they were just aquaitances, then suddenly i saw them hold hands... weird...

thirdly, towards the escalator, i saw this really cute guy , but...
he was carrying a darn girly handbag... i noe most guys carry something like this, but often it should be bigger, and he was like... carrying a lady bag lo... -_-''' he must be gay...

oh yea and one more... at the traffic light, i observed one lady's appearance... she was wearing a red top (again -_-'') and a black skirt.. but she also abit wierd, wearing black stockings and black shoes... matching ar... she abit aunty aunty look u noe...

make me think of another aunty nearly every morning when i board the bus.. shes like my mum's age and then she is so vain la... she wears like a 20-30+ lady... everytime i see her, she wearing something revealing... like a spaghetti strap and a sibei short de miniskirt and of cos high heels and a fancy black bag.. if she's pretty and maintain her looks, its still ok lar... but ppl can tell her age cos she din cover her wrinkles lolx... its so obvious... everytime i saw her, i was like, "crap, this aunty again"...

i dunno y i talking abt this, but i find all these all so funny and a topic that i just wanna share it with u guys. dun u guys often scrutinize other ppl also n make u wanna laugh ur head off? haha... cya next post if i think of something new...

I was not there when all that stuffs happened. I was still in the office when i heard the news. I was not crying when i noe u were gone. But I felt the pain everyone had when we lost you. Especially the wife who have accompany you throughout your entire life. And the sons and daughters who were screaming for you to run before the fire comes. It wasnt obvious, but it was a fact that our hearts are bleeding when we heard the mourning. And so our cries pour out to you as well. But what we cant see is your coffin being pushed inside the incinerator. And so we could only screamed for you to run. Run away from the fire. Run.
You are lost but you are not forgotten. The little granddaughters and grandsons who were with you since they were young. And still we are. Writing about our loving memories of you. Although mine is not as fantastic as those 2 granddaughters who have written about you, but this is still delicated to you. I cried when i saw their posts. I cant remember like how they treasured you. I cant remember what are the toments that you went through these few years. All memories float back as i read through their posts. We rarely talk to you cos we define you as a fierce grandpa. Somehow you dun mind cos u were just happy whenever we came and play. Grandma was too. Picturing a happy family where 2 grandparents had their shares of grandchildren like everyone does. Heartwarming it was, now this picture turns to black and white. Nv will this become as happy as it used to. If all we go is to visit grandma, you will not be there anymore. Your daughters still couldnt accept the fact that you are gone. They cannot adapt to a new life without you. Dun take another hope from them away yet. Leave grandma healthy for another 10-20 years. I dun want to imagine if another one of you is gone.
Please forgive me.

It was raining today - the day where grandpa been sent to the cremetory...
it stopped when we were following the van... but we were still walking on the wet ground... was tired today, after the concecutively days of not getting enough sleep... finally napped for 4 hours in the late afternoon... going for another round of sleep later... well, hectic 4 days anyway... good nite ppl...

yday i nearly die of frustration... i tell u wat happen...
my colleague told me to do mass printing of the 2 original docs.. and he din have a cover page for 1 of the docs... and he din noe that... so i just create one according to the original version.. thing is, the original version cover's font and size are diff from the the other document... meaning both must be the same la... i dunno ma... i just copy the original one, so i din noe the original one was wrong... i did the 30 printings for the cover liao lo... then my colleague say all wrong... nvm, that one i can reprint... what bother me inside is that we have communication breakdown... the cover i created rite, all i need to do is to change the font and size... so i asked him, "so i need to change the font and size, right?" I guess he din understand what i meant, he keep insisting that I should follow the other doc's cover page, and change it from there.. meaning just change the words of the other doc and save it as something else... What we meant is the same thing lo... although just diff ways of doing... but what i think is that my way of doing is simpler rite? but of cos, i still need to save it as somewhere else in the other folder.. fine... i mean, just cut and paste and doc la... what de heck is wrong with u? i got my own ways of doing things.. and he dun get it.. he thought im a little girl who dun understand simple instruction... ok i admit sometimes i really dun... probably bcos i din catch a thing he says, so my brain just want it out of the system. u see me doing documents for him, its really half ear in half ear out sia... incomplete stuffs.. my brain got limited memory u noe... i need to change to a new brain liao... anyway, what im frustrated is the tone that he spoke to me... i noe he's to his limit also... thats y he used that tone.. but thats really no need one lo... just explain slower and gentler.. sometimes i really dun get what ppl are saying, but im not that dumb if u repeat several times and i still dun understand.
wah man... then later that, i was still frustated cos im thinking things through... y m i been given such jobs that doesnt even related to me? if its a job that i find, its ok... cos its what i choose to do... but this is internship... u shouldnt make use of the interns there to do micro stuffs for u rite... we r trying to learn something in advance what we learnt in sch.. trying to add on... we din learn how to print stuff and finding stupid things like competitors crap in sch... all we want is to do the things we r related... like what i learnt in sch was programming, so give me something related to programming man... or databases... at least these things wont let me feel bored... it itself would occupy my mind for the whole day... but something that was really funny and stupid yday is that i actually teared bcos of that guy... i cannot be scolded i noe that myself... but it was bcos of such small things, i was thinking its ridiculous.. haha... so i was doing my replacing of cover page and teared away... no one saw... except after that, rebecca told me, "U looked stressful.." i din noe what to say so i just smile... i kinda hating this guy now.. although i noe hes not that much in the wrong... well, i just dun want to look him in the eye... darn it...

my leg muscles are aching like hell right now... i dunno what happen... but it shouldnt be bcos of the kneeling at the funeral... maybe i stand too much everytime on the train or on the buses.. u noe how it can be when its crowded early in the morning or in the evening rite... wondering how im able to cope with the kneeling later on... its not the knee lo... although my knee still bruising la... but thats not much of a prob.. its the calf and my thigh... arh...

it was raining when grandpa was admitted into the HDU...
we went to visit him, only to see that he was breathing heavily... he was struggling to live. the day he passed away, we were not there. well, my mum says he had a good life. so its fair enough to let him go now instead of living painfully, waiting for death. he was thinner than my grandma used to. i shivered abit when i saw his body in the coffin. when i heard the news yday, i cried in the office. The irony thing is, i was not crying that grandpa left. i was worried abt my mum. she might look strong in the front, in fact, she cried 3-4 times yday. and all those memories abt my grandma n godgrandpa came back that i just weeped... well, that was yday... later going to the funeral again to help out. its gonna last 5 days i think. i cannot imagine when the day come where my grandpa is going to be on a van and my mum will be weeping all the way... haiz... gotta go le... cya

arh... HAPPY CNY! Valentine's Day also coming... so HAPPY VALENTINE'S to those couples!

CNY was ok.. except we had to start work early.. haha..