I dunno what to blog for today.. bcos i simply cannot find anything to write... i always hate my life.. but now it seems to be changing for the better.. think positive think... =) bcos after all, i dun find my life worser than anyone of u.. its just normal life.. everyone ve to live their owns.. =P hope i'll be able to find my dream soon.. be positive be positive... okay lets go orh orh liao.. lol..

i hate promises.. they r nv 100% true.. nv promise a kid u will buy something for her, and then that thing nv come.. nv say something which u cant do.. nv say u love someone forever, then 10 mths later u say, sry i cant do it.. nv promise to let a person wait and nv show up.. disappointments will lead to anger and hate.. it always does... dun count too much on promises.. i hate it.. yea u say it just for the sake of saying, but if u dun do the thing u said b4, thats just mean.. ppl will nv trust u and ur words.. i just hate it.. 100%.. unless u really mean something when u say it.. else promises r what? made to be broken? nv make one if u r not going to fulfil it.. tons r always drown by promises.. NV EVER RELY ON PROMISES unless u known that person well, get it?! Y DO THEY ALWAYS LIE? WHY!?

=) sat was great.. so was sunday.. guess every weekends should be great now... haha.. sat dear came and i had lunch, bought by him.. we catch up and then went to jp.. had dinner at pizza hut.. delux cheese with lava cheese crust.. basically all cheese.. LOL.. i wonder y i choose that? maybe no other flavor looks good enough.. haha.. after that, we went for a movie - Just my luck.. the show is funny, when u see how the characters are really lucky/unlucky.. went home ard 1130.. in case u dunno how boonlay interchange had changed.. it is erm... quite "convienient" i guess.. the 198 bus was right in front when u come out of the control station which is good for me lar.. but on the other hand, 157 is right at the end where u ve to walk a good long stretch.. i decide not to take 157 anymore liao.. haha.. anyway, waited for the 198 bus until i wanna vomit blood.. so we took a taxi back home..
sun - arranged to meet for ktv session.. there were 7 of us.. i dun think my singing improve.. it always stay that way.. haiz.. me n kw go off first ard 1.30 pm.. she had to go to her granny's hse.. i want to go pei dear buy army stuff.. hehe.. i go east while kw go west.. it should be the other way right.. lol.. just when i tot i can accompany her take train liao wahaha.. anyway, meet him at lavendar and went to beach rd.. waited for him to get his stuffs and then went down to the hawker to eat.. went home as he needed to go book in early... oh crap, that feeling again.. it was although not as strong cos i know he'll be back soon.. but.. i think i should ve those feelings every book out time.. its sad, i wish he dun ve to go.. i really hope the time stop just there.. and he din ve to go..

dear.. we can conquer every obstacles right? i know we can...

p.s. i smile and laugh bcos im with U... its boring life bcos u r not by my side... =P

i had a really bad dream today.. its about my birthday n more.. i shall not dwell on it.. cos dear was in it and it make me tear first thing in the morning.. i went back to slp cos the time was only 8 am.. haha.. somehow my 2nd dream is connected to my first.. still my bday, but its set at another place.. and totally contrasting to that of the first one.. well, hear of ri you suo si, ye you suo meng? when u think alot when u r concious, see what happen when u sleep..? i think too much perhaps? meow o_0 nite.. off to bed again -_-''

he called... lately things accumulated and happen together so fast that i wanted to tell him everything i know... but everytime my mind just went blank and i let him talk.. i keep forgetting what i wanna tell him... and when its time to end the conversation, i din talk much at all.. maybe my things r trivial compare to his... so i decided to tell him after he booked out.. i feel that my life is so much boring. theres no exciting events happening.. even if there is, it doesnt really concern me.. i hate to think that there is nth in my life that i can boast about... like what i did today, or what happen today to me.. not something like this: everydays de same, i eat n sleep n stay at home all day, so nth could really happen to me... i want to say that oh, i make a new fren the other day at the briefing, but i forgot to ask for her phone number.. haha.. well i should see her around the campus when sch starts.. yeap, i just wanna tell him.. but i guess i forgot.. theres nth impt to say, really... yes, making a new fren is impt to me.. maybe not to all of u.. cos i feel strongly about the circle of frens in my life.. they make a difference.. yes, u guys do.. =D somehow i din say cos i din think its impt to other ppl.. and how going out alone is impt to me as well.. cos i am not independent.. if i try to do something out of my daily life, it could mean the world to me.. but other ppl would just go, huh what the heck? i do that all the time... does it mean that its time to grow up? i saw somewhere saying this, we dun want to grow up bcos we dun want to be involved in the complicated world... thats me, cos im just afraid.. so now u r thinking, if it is so, when will u ever grow up? i dunno the ans myself.. when the time comes, then shall i noe... if u ever think y this girl dunno how to think for herself, well, i haven grow up yet.. thats y.. and i dun bother to...

woke up at 8.. then went to the bank to buy a bank draft to UOL.. after that, hailed a taxi to go to RELC building.. i din noe the building has a hotel somemore.. i thought it was some kind like gov building.. I sat outside the restaurant waiting for the queue.. the place looks like a wedding reception cos of the reception table.. but it also look an exam hall haha... they put tables there for ppl to sit in such an order that it look like the exam hall.. well, after the settling of the UOL issues, took a cab back.. when its still early, so i decided to cut my hair.. now i absolutely dun like it ar.. thats y im always reluctant to go to neighbourhood to cut.. they ve no idea what u want.. unlike those big salons.. they give u a best haircut possible cos u give a good price. shoots, should ve listen to joanne and go jp.. now i feel like a freak.. but i feel so troublesome, having to take taxi or bus back again... sianz.. hope the next few days, it will grow longer and make me feel better... or i'll just get use to this look.. -_-''

LOL i just checked out my msn history and i found this amusing.. haha

国振 The importance of U in my life! gd fternoon
国振 The importance of U in my life! and gd ening
The importance of U in my life! 国振 orh
国振 The importance of U in my life! got bath anot
The importance of U in my life! 国振 nvr
国振 The importance of U in my life! y?
The importance of U in my life! 国振 becos pigs dun bath
The importance of U in my life! 国振 waahahah
国振 The importance of U in my life! waahahaha
The importance of U in my life! 国振 wad u doing now
国振 The importance of U in my life! chatting lor
The importance of U in my life! 国振 to who
国振 The importance of U in my life! a pig lor
The importance of U in my life! 国振 wahahahah

nvm my little joke.. LOL

shitty leg lar... walk alot then swollen liao.. though i manage to get down the bus, theres still difficulty standing. i realise the only way my ankle will not hurt while going down the stairs is when i wear my adidas.. yea, i was surprised when i go down the lecture theatre stairs without pain. the shoes supported me.. oh btw, me n kw went for SIM briefing today, in case u r wondering where i go... after that, we went back to fc 4 to eat sia.. LOL.. so long nv go back sch liao.. went to orchard to shop around.. kw still din get her shoes.. sad, the stupid but nice wedge has no discount.. we sat in mac slacking nearly 2 hours away =D cos my leg swollen ma.. gotta sit.. haha.. accompany her to guardian to buy something then went home to watch bride at 18 =D

I miss him so much.. but it doesnt make me wanna cry anymore, it just make me smile.. ^-^

sat is finally coming soon.. looking forward to it =) although i still know hes gona go back for 1 week but at least its 1 week better than 2 weeks rite? maybe this looking forward thingy will reduce the misses.. i want to cry everytime i miss him so much... i read this SAF forum; it says this girl cry for 10 days straight when her bf went in.. n now they r preparing to get married once he ORD.. so fast sia.. =X
I went JP today with my mum n bro.. finally gotten my executive set.. sry kw, i know i should ve wait for u.. but i cant wait and since im going out with my mum, might as well spend her money rite? hehe u will understand de hor? so i guess tml should be just cutting hair.. LOL.. its really growing like grasses.. i want to pluck them out so much.. just dun wanna go opposite n let aunts cut my-already-rebond hair.. haha.. yeap.. did i cut after my rebond?? hmm.. i dun rmb also.. i dun think so =P

sry guys abt my previous posts.. i was really frustrated.. now feeling not that moody le.. guess its PMS time again ma..

slacking... and waiting for his call.. (although recvd it just now le) tml going briefing sian.. gotta settle UOL matters again.. meow.. 0_o

well, just for ur ref: http://www.neurologychannel.com/parkinsonsdisease/symptoms.shtml#prim

OMG time is going so slowly i feel im choked by the time sand.. as it goes, i feel weary and weary.. i ve no plans for the day itself, let alone the future. I just want to choke myself on tears when the love and heartache grow stronger as time passes by.. i want sch to start quickly to stop myself in this agony. i cant make my own decision, they always change. i cant see myself in the future. i think i dun exist anymore by the time u ve kids. i feel that i deserved more. the anguish and pain of certain things dun stop. i dun pity myself. i just want more. and i noe i cant achieve anything by just thinking. wait and see. wait and see. my life is just about living as time goes. if time stops, i will die. M i speaking in non-consistency? I dun understand everything that goes on around me. y must we be a nice person just to make believe u r one? y cant we be evil? y do i ask that? cos i am evil. i thought abt stuffs u dun even wanna hear. dun be mistaken. i dun want to kill or steal. but I DESERVE MORE.

i think i ve split personality. Indefinitely thinking. *chuckles*

STOP ME from watching TV shows. PLEASE. the human mind knows no boundary.

U think a quiet girl is a nice girl? Think again. *smug*

Sometimes life is so confusing, u dun even noe whether u r doing the right thing.. The ones who noe you well enuff tends to comment on ur behaviour, whether good or bad.. and u just dun want to admit the bad ones.. when at other times, u say other ppl has no right to judge u.. think again, its the first impression ppl see in u... if they cant judge u, then put on a mask.. yea, this is what im talking abt.. life is abt masks.. u change different kinda masks to suit different kinda person/ppl/events.. the highest attained human being, in my opinion, is having toally a different mask when u face others v.s urself.. evil? good? u cant judge cos only he noes... my mask? sometimes i put the same mask over n over again that im begin to think that's the real me... or maybe that's not even a mask.. we cant totally noe our real self unless we r secluded... be alone in a world that no one else can see ur true face.. and only u noe what kind of a person u r.. not even ur closest friends or family.. cos we tend to put on a brave front when ppl is around us... it scares myself even a little when i truly figure out my inner thoughts... theres so many hidden secrets within us that cannot be revealed.. yes, a human being definitely has selfish thoughts.. meditate to find ur inner voice.. communicate with it.. find out de root of every problems of ur own.. if u cant solve it, just hide it away forever... bcos it could be ugly, and u dun want to unleash that monster and maybe torn ur own image.. trust urself for this..

yea, im going to die... of misery... which consist of missing someone so much and boredom.. he lit my off-light today by calling in the evening.. saying the only free time is around 930-1030 pm.. and i missed the only free time he had today!! i went for acupuncture at my aunt's around that time which my mum made the appointment yday already.. i din noe it's going to be so long ='( yea, u can scold me le.. making too many excuses also no use.. i had the same punishment b4. he sounded resentful when he called after that to say hes going to slp.. ='(
yday was terrible.. the unbearable pain of yet another one leaving.. i noe its not the same.. its only for a short while n we r both thinking, "its not like forever u noe" i cried after he left.. the loneliness made it sader cos no one was at home... then my bro came back to console me.. he noe me.. he noe i would feel sad.. =)
i gotta learn to get use when my dear is not around that often.. what would happen in the future if we both gotta work then? we would not be free everytime... we could only miss each other... ='(

oh man.. dear's going army le.. i sure gonna miss him.. just hope that he dun fall sick during his training there.
anyway, xx yw going to japan next week, just when i tot they could visit me cos they always at home ma... lol.. and kw is sick, which means im gonna to die... haha.. hmm... what can i do for the next few weeks b4 sch starts? i watched finish my shows le.. anyone kind enuff to lend me any series? nice one.. i dun mind jap, korean, or eng series.. i still dun think its enuff.. cos aug then start sch, i might not last until that long.. ='(

i still cant go out... my dear's still de best =P u ppl mei you liang xin de lor... wont come visit me even on weekends... =( the ones always at home de also wont come.. -_-'' at least u can come on weekends rite? it doesnt matter on sat cos my parents wont be in... nvm... i got no friends i noe.. kinda depressed now... darn it... meow... (hungry... finding food...)

i think i would ve died of bordem if not for dear. i wonder how i manage to keep myself alive during my secondary sch days? lol.. FYI, i am an introverted human being and dislike hanging out with my classmates. i ate alone during recesses, and go home do nth. i think my sec life consist of sch, pc game, tv/vcd shows, tons of naps and uh.. still sleeping... haha... so i wonder now, if i were to relive my sec sch days, how would it be like? i noe i still dun talk to my ex-classmates.. we just dun happen to click u noe(although they r fun lar i guess..) or maybe they still think i dun crap cos im a nice guai girl like i was. haha. i would really be dead if i were to relive those days. okok. how do i spend my childhood days? with my couz of cos. ^5 girls... n bro LOL
i kept myself lively abit after secondary sch life. cos i promise myself that things should not be the same after i grad from jss.. guess i dun like my sch haha... things r different.. and urm.. i got u! pls continue to keep me shining after years later.. or i would die faster wahaha... i am so crapping right now and my ankle is soothing(i applied some massage oil)
arh... sch starting at the beginning of august... how how... (freaked out the same i went into sp) no schmates?!(does kaiwen count? cos she not in the same course as me) i ve got to start depending on myself.. firstly, i haven apply to UOL yet.. lol.. dun blame me, blame the leg! they send a schedule on a briefing session i am supposed to go and a cab would be fine.. lol.. not a wheelchair -_-'' oh maybe kw's briefing also same as mine? hehe... i am so dead... i noe nth.. sianz.. i miss him now.. i wonder y.. oh i read article abt this couple, they r so loving, they nv even quarrel abit during their marriage yrs.. and the wife's been gone out of town for a few hours and the husband miss her already.. guess they ve been together so long, like decades, its hard to adapt when that someone is gone, even for a very short while.. *set my brain tick-tocking* hmmm...