i had 2 terrible dreams yday.. so bad that i woke up after each dreams -.- the first one i was being chased by vampire.. these group of guys were supposubly controlling it cos they were so calm.. then i ran towards others and they ran away too.. and then i woke up.. de 2nd dream was not as good... something abt my bf being very upset abt something.. then i went to console him but it din help... so i asked "what can i do for u?" he then proceed to say, "ask her over.." then pointing to a girl(her actions n looks similar to sj, not my cousin).. so i told her to come over.. and the way she console him was way better than mine.. i was thinking "if u only want her consoling, and its better than mine means that u dun need me anymore" i was so terribly upset.. and there i was, mulling away thinking " that's it, my bf always thinks other girl is better than me cos im not as cute and active.. i cannot capture his heart anymore.. y does this always happen to me? great.. now this 2nd relationship is going to end again just when i tot we were going great.." my heart was so dripping blood that i woke up.. i hate those 2 dreams.. and of cos the latter is reality-like... i think its bcos i think too much in the day, or cos due to stress/tired etc.. bcos napping in the afternoon today, i was thinking "pls no more of yday's dreams.." and luckily there wasnt.. whew.. to think abt that 2nd dream hurt me.. i mean seriously, if ur bf call other girls to talk or to want console from them(not say r/s things la) every time they r upset.. i think its gone case.. y would they tell their secrets to other girls n not u? dun even try to rationalise me, i am being the most rational person now.. that just goes to show, their hearts wander off to somewhere else.. even if they want to share their joy or depression with someone, it should be someone close right? i hate that dream.. i ve been having these kind for the 2nd time now.. im going berserk abt it.. but then again, its only a dream.. but it should interpret meanings.. what can it be?? m i too stress bcos of todays test? whatever it is, its making me moody now now now...

damn today's test.. had to study on sat n sun bcos of this socie test2.. then i din do well cos i din understand the qns at all.. or rather i din study and put the concepts in my head yet.. plus i was so groggy in the morning i slept all the way on the bus.. din really think it thru.. haiz.. 4 qns n i think i understand none of the qns!! LOL.. went to eat with the 5 of them and then william sent me to ngee ann poly's busstop(cos was raining heavily) and then sent kevin home.. they so good living in the NE line.. haiz, im the only one staying in the west.. -.- cannot take shun feng che home.. haha.. anyway, tml got stats in the afternoon and wed got prog.. thurs another ibm lesson.. i think i better study b4 nagep pick on me again.. then got his assignment due next mon.. sigh.. sianz arh.. so many things to do.. got socie assignment also but lucky the presentation is due is 5 weeks time.. b4 xmas hahahaha... today slack first.. tmr start revising ba.. or do assignment.. whatever lah..

wed went to sch as usual... slacked there until 12.30 then when to meet love for lunch.. we ate at spgg then.. cos love got her bday voucher at spgg restaurant so 30 bucks is reduced =p in the end only need to pay 2.50 haha.. after that i went home around 3.30pm.. and slept i think, cant really rmb.. then at night realised i haven do my psychology assignment -.- so chiong the assignment until 1.30am lor.. the next day i became a zombie at sch haha.. had psycho class and then ibm.. shit dun remind me of ibm -.- i was kena from nagep! once he asked me qns, my mind was blank! i cannot reply him promptly and needed help.. cham liao.. next time he target me liao.. haiz.. thats y i refuse to sit in front what.. but my frens ar aiyo.. sianz half.. lesson until 5 pm then met eve, angie, alvin, william n kevin to go to orchard.. its eve's bday.. wei lian took alvin's scooter to town(they call him scooty haha..) the rest of us took bus to somerset to meet the both of them.. then had dinner in nydc.. ordered lagsana and a king tut's fav(drink).. okay la 'cept that the lagsana full of tomato sauce and taste abit like curry.. haha.. took pics and then went to lucky plaza for pool session.. my pool still sucks but i can improve on it haha.. i think we played for 2 hrs sia.. after that i simply going to die liao.. bcos of last night late night + the whole day at sch + pool.. aiyo.. went home right after that haha.. on the journey home going to "dao" liao.. i think i owe alvin money for the prez =X nvm return him on mon.. oh right, im in the same course and classes with the 3 guys -.- they keep forgetting i also take is & management haha.. had a fun day after lessons although tiring.. dun remind me of nagep pls.. kw, u noe how its like to be targetted right -.- haiz...

pics for yday..
eve, angie n me!
alvin's monkey face -.- extra one..
the group foto!

sat was dear's sis bdy.. her bday fell on deepavali so qiao.. so went little india to ve lunch with them at a chinese foodshop.. i had a full western breakfast so i din eat alot during lunch.. anyway, after that we parted le.. me n dear went to vivocity again cos we were taking the NE line ma.. haha.. went to candy empire to buy candies!! u noe charlie's and the choc factory - willy wonka's goobstopper? yea we bought that.. din change color leh wahaha.. still bought the sweet n sour(i think) biscuit.. then walked around the mall.. dear was supposed to meet his frens for steamboat but then they cancelled it at the last min.. we met his fren, hb(yq n chinsher know him in commando) n then went to eat mac in jp and then walked ard.. dear n i bought 1000-pieces puzzle of winnie the pooh so cute! then the 3 of us went to walk around toyrus.. there's this stickman game which u connect 2 or more together then they will do things together one.. so nice.. its something like tamagochi 'cept that its stickman.. haha.. anyway, after that, met another fren of kevin to watch talidaga nights.. its a comedy... ard 11.30 pm then took a cab go home le..

sun went to sentosa with love n jo.. had a nice time lying there listening to songs for 45 mins lidat then it started to get very windy and hazy -.- finally it rained.. luckily by that time we got out of the sun and were bathing liao.. left sentosa around 2.30pm.. ate lunch and walked around vivocity for the third time.. haha.. while waiting for dear from his soccer match, we walked ard in tangs.. and went off at 4pm.. met kev n went home to get started on our puzzle.. did 3/4 of the edges and then ate dinner.. after which he went home to watch soccer match... i watched the hk drama on tv until 10pm n went to sleep le..



had sch on mon in the morning.. our first socialogy presentation due in 4 weeks' time.. sianz.. and our topic is singapore and globalization.. jacqeline promised it would be an easy topic for us.. the other topic that we chosen were already taken by other grp so we were left that.. haiz.. anyway, its a 15 mins presentation and i think i can die liao.. to think we need to present for 15 mins in front of 50 over ppl.. kevin n william r my two grp mates wahahaha.. i really dun want to be their leader.. i dun care.. they cant bully the only girl.. haha.. then after class, the 6 of us(3 more frens) went to foodcourt to tabao cos too many ppl and then slack at the bench at one corner.. chitchatted for 3 hrs like dat den went off le.. met dear after he went to see doc.. n headed to cityhall.. the steamboat was postphone until that day.. trying to decide where to eat steamboat.. finally went to seoul garden in marina square.. ate with dear's 5 other frens and slacked until 10 pm where the restaurant is closing.. went to the arcade and watch dear and his fren play pool.. and took cab home around 11.30pm.. thats all for the 3 days.. will be updating soon..

wed study, thurs go for classes.. but wanna die liao.. dunno y also.. i think i ve sufficient slp leh but go to class abit zzz in the morning then afternoon is a whole lot of stoning.. macham being hypnotized lidat.. and then i was sitting in front during nagep's class.. lucky he thinks im not feeling well so din call upon me.. anyway, went home after lesson..

today went swimming at spgg while betty went gym..darn, i forgot to bring my google.. i nv swim without my google de.. once i close my eyes and swim, fear engulfed me.. and then when i cant feel the edge of the pool, i panicked.. opened my eyes abit to look ard.. and finally got up.. that part of the pool is deep so i din dare to swim there just in case i swim further from the edge of the pool and cant feel the ground.. so i decided to swim at the 0.9m width part where i feel abit comfortable.. the width is maybe only 12.5 m.. i closed my eyes and kept count on how many strokes i need to take to get to the other side.. once i did that, i did 40 laps of the small width.. and then hungered for more laps.. finally i did up to 100 laps which was ard 900m.. i missed the last 20 laps(100m more to 1km) cos i was exhausted already and love was ready to go take a shower.. sounds like i did a lot of laps rite? hahaha.. but in fact is what im supposed to do 50m(at 1 go) without stopping and yet at every 12.5m, i paused for 10-20secs for small breath-recovery.. at the end, i was still too exhausted.. i couldnt even lift my hand haha..
we went back to sp's fc 3 to eat chicken rice.. and went home.. once back to my home sweet home, i dropped dead on my bed.. dun even want to go for dinner at jp with my mum n bro.. well, now im reading death note manga.. gtg to bed soon again.. haha.. cya guys!

today i was in de study room.. this malay guy suddenly packed his things loudly, stormed out of the study room and slamed the door behind him.. we were like "what's wrong with him?? &*#@*$#@!&@" then someone shout something to him.. then few seconds, he came back and shouted "who just now say f*** up ar.." the whole room diam diam then he went out again.. then something like 30 mins later.. this malay and indian admin worker came in the study room and "tell" us to keep it down and what to expect in the study room.. one guy just keep apologising "sorry, we'll keep it down" then the other cannot take it "just now that guy who slammed the door is the one making the noise.. i think u should check on him" the whole room was like clapping silently haha.. i sniggered abit though.. i was wondering, y this 2 ladies just come in and got the nerve to tell us off when its the guy who was making so much noise.. after they left, ppl were murmurring away.. the whole thing just make me feel uneasy.. at the same time, i was so tired.. so i just rested my head abit.. and then went home with sharon le.. she was also going to the clementi station.. so pei her take bus lo.. she told me abt the eye bag whitening cream she bought.. it does seem quite effective on her.. so i just went to watsons and bought it.. really, i recently keep seeing tremendous eyebags that my frens n dear keep telling me abt.. anyway, tml still got sch.. now feeling damn tired.. i gtg bath liao.. bb folks..

heres the latest photos..

and there again, weekend passed quite smoothly.. went to dear's hse on sat to eat lunch.. n then took bus 100 to vivocity.. was stuck in traffic on the verge of reaching.. stucked for 30 mins lidat.. reached vivo at 7.30pm.. went ard the huge mall searching for food lol.. queued up for the chicken rice until 8.30 i think then ate until 9pm.. din really walked much.. cos firstly, too many ppl.. 2nd the mall is so huge i dunno where to begin.. 3rdly, the time is short.. anyway, went out for "fresh" air and took some photo.. too bad only 1 is taken successfully.. the others all delete le.. haha.. not much liao.. went home at 10pm.. n then slpt at 1 am i think..

sun, went to aljunied at 1.30... reached there ard 2.30pm.. met dear to go TM to watch death note.. the show is not those that got ending one.. lol.. but its quite nice and abit funny.. i dunno y ppl laugh inappropriately also.. maybe bcos of the 3D shinigami(death god).. hes damn funny sia.. lol.. anyway, we watched until 5 plus.. then walked for awhile n ate at mac.. went back his house ard 7 pm to eat dinner.. headed back home around 9pm.. he going to field camp for 1 week so unable to contact with me during that time.. hmmm.. miss u..
gtg nite ppl..

guys sorry for all that emotional stuff.. its fine btw me and kev.. really.. im just having the lowest peak haha.. and thx for all ur concerns, i appreciate that =)

im looking forward to sunday to meet u gals.. be it a slacking session at any cafes or suntanning in sentosa.. im okay with them.. =D i go watch drama le.. tata~~

i cant believe i actually miss those guys i haven seen for yrs now.. lol.. i miss mike, dy, cheeyong, kenneth, kane, jaron, huiyi, jiayan, weiseng, ziyu, vinc n his 3 frens.. did i miss out anyone? i haven seen them since we came back from redang and it seems like ages.. they did organise outings but im always not free.. or apparently i go out with dear.. i wish they could org another eating session too.. go ask vincent liao.. he's always the one planning... i think thats bcos i always reject their outings thats y they din ask me out anymore.. these group of gang always very hype up one.. although im always the quietest among them but i enjoy their fun n craps.. lol.. now we can only meet on weekends, but i swear i will go out with them again if there is one outing.. i feel that ever since from redang, my life has been cut out from their circle quite alot.. n when i saw lcc(zhenqing), i got the urge to see them again sia.. heck the couple liao la.. just pretend they r not there lo.. *sry this sentence is coming out from nowhere*

and u gals! wanna go bbq this weekend? i dunno how to org this.. haha.. anyway, i wanna bbq~~ n enjoy with mooncakes.. wahahahhaha.. fat fat la.. dun care.. =x k gtg now.. wanna go then msg me or tag me whatever =D

i fear that i will not be strong enough.. whenever it happens, i feel that im not determined enough.. if ppl were to treat me better, i will feel abit guilty cos i would not treat them the same way.. and when i got a better treatment from them, i think that person is nice in spite whatever other says.. and then i would feel good abt that person.. is that y i fall for guys easily? cos they treat me better? i noe i like my ex alot bcos he treated me good.. but i noe for my current bf, we got mutual attraction.. but what im afraid is, im not determined enough.. but i will.. as long im at home, theres no way i could be in contact with other guys.. bcos we r abit distant now, as in physically, im abit worried.. i hope he can understand how i feel.. thats y i ve been getting so moody, or rather asking for more, when it comes to weekends.. i dun want us to distant away from each other.. although im still very in love with him.. well, i guess im at the lowest point of my wave now.. as the book says, "women are like waves.." their moods come in different wavelength.. when they crash, they will come back up again.. but it depends on how long.. n i fear that my wave will be at its low peak for quite a long time.. unless something good and promising happen.. everyday, when i go to sch, i will be like "oh great, how comes the feeling again.." to suppress it is okay.. but i will be in sch for 3 yrs leh.. bcos i nv part with my ex for so long b4(i see him everyday in sch).. im not used to it.. and now im everyday seeing guys frens in sch, without my bf.. so its abit hard.. if he's by my side i would not be worried.. y r u always not there when i need u the most? i feel so strangled by my own feelings.. going to choke to death anytime.. i cant tell, i cant tell, else he'll think i'll not wait n leave him.. i promise i wont and would nv.. frens, i need u to speak to me.. come on.. i need to open up.. or i'll die sooner or later..

m i speaking in broken english? lol.. my english been getting from bad to worse.. i feel so outcast when im in sch.. cos ppl r all speaking english and im not comfortable in that language.. except for writing it.. but then again, my writings been becoming bad.. haiz.. somehow, sch life also pose another problem for me.. not that exams is around the corner la.. but its just that i haven had enough time to study what has been taught.. i feel that i should stay in sch more, and yet i dun want to.. well, u guys should refer to my prob on the above para.. cant study at home.. no space, got bed, got tv shows.. oh, maybe i should go to the library in je.. slack there.. no need stay in sch somemore.. kw, we should try to go je lib and study ok?? pls..

occasionally i will start thinking... that such a simple, naive, dai dai, ben ben girl also got ppl want.. LOL.. which is y i am feeling so blissful now *angels circling the head* haha..

i am not in my right mind after watching the tomenting korean drama yday.. the first few episode is already showing the lead being a fugitive.. he was of cos being set up.. and hes trying to prove his innocence by finding the woman who gave false testimony in court.. well, the lady went to shanghai to escape from the so-called "murderer".. she din knew everything of cos.. but was acting accordingly.. anyway, the show is called "Green Rose".. im thinking abt how lucky i am which then pop the first sentence i wrote.. wahahaha..

so bored now.. have to study later, but table's full -.- dunno ar.. again, trying to emphasize on "dear, u r the best!!" wanna puck? LOL.. arh.. go do other stuff le lar.. sianz.. -.-

updates for recent events..

last thurs i went for my psychology.. met kw for lunch and then we both went for ibm class.. well, we saw another stupid eating contest - the guys comparing who will be able to eat 3 big cups noodles at 1 go.. wed was water drinking contest.. i wonder y sim ve so many stupid contest?? cant they be constructive? like maybe a charade or something? -.- anyway, met kw's fren and talk to her for a while during break time.. and then went home le..

fri was just slacking at home.. playing audition and flyff.. both online games.. audition is like a dancing competition, except u use arrows to compete with ppl and score pts.. well, if u ppl got nth to do, like me, u can dl it.. but erm.. the dling time could be quite long cos the installation file is 600+ mb.. flyff is like another RO game.. just that its 3D thats all..

went for my programming lesson on sat instead of wed.. was again doing for-next loop for practical.. sianz.. anyway, after the lesson, went to dear's house.. he was already back.. but only for a day.. going back again at night.. luckily not in the evening.. else lesser time to see him.. bought lunch and ate at his house.. then dl audition on his com also.. wahaha.. watched some tv and then over-the-hedge.. after that, is just hitting the arrows on the com liao(meaning play the game).. played and played until dinner time.. after dinner, still playing until he had to leave.. we went bugis around 9 to buy batteries, sweets and fir album.. all for him lar.. and then went back to the last station liao.. i went home while he joined his mates to wait for their bus to take them "back" LOL..

my mum wanted us to go swimming today so we went to jurong sports complex at 12.30pm.. i planned to swim 1 km today again.. but then i had muscle cramps after 500m.. so i just stopped totally and went to join my parents while watching my brother swim.. really, wasted sia.. as usual, a lot of men displays there.. haha.. and of cos most were in the pool blocking my way -.- i lost it totally.. i mean my stamina.. too long nv go swimming liao.. and then at 500m i was really going dead liao.. to think i did 900m last time i came here.. sigh.. anyway, we went to my aunt's stall to ve our lunch and then went home.. well, going to slp now.. bth i really lost it today *shake head* and now im like dead tired.. crap la.. well, tada!