Quotes from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus:

1. When she is feeling good she is capable of seeing and responding to the good things in her life. But when she is crashing, her loving vision becomes cloudy, and she reacts more to what is missing in her life.

2. It puts too much pressure on a man to make him the only source of love and support.

3. By supporting her need to be heard, she could support his need to be free.

4. When her wave crashes again, similar issues will arise. Whatever remains to be healed or resolved from her past inevitably will come up.

5. When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.

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Quotes 2:

1. A man becomes fully receptive to and appreciative of the six kinds of love primarily needed by women (caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance) when his own primary needs are first fulfilled. Likewise a woman needs trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. But before she can truly value ana appreciate these kinds of love, her primary needs first must be fulfilled.

2. When a Martian expresses his caring and understanding, a Venusian automatically begins to reciprocate and return to him the trust and acceptance that he primarily needs. The same thing happens when a Venusian expresses her trust - a Martian automatically will begin to reciprocate with the caring she needs.

3. When his behaviour takes into consideration her thoughts and feelings, she is sure to feel respected. Concrete and physical expressions of respect, like flowers and remembering anniversaries, are essential to fulfill a woman's third primary love need. When she feels respected it is much easier for her to give her man the appreciation that he deserves.

HOW YOU MAY BE UNKNOWINGLY TURNING OFF YOUR PARTNER

Mistakes women commonly make	Why he doesn't feel loved
1. She tries to improve his behaviour or help him by offering unsolicited advice.	1. He feels unloved becaused she doesn't trust him anymore.
2. She tries to change or control his behavior by sharing her upset or negative feelings. (It is OK to share feelings but not when they attempt to manipulate or punish.)	2. He feels unloved because she doesn't accept him as he is.
3. She doesn't acknowledge what he does for her buy complains about what he has not done.	3. He feels taken for granted and unloved because she doesn't appreciate what he does.
4. She corrects his behavior and tells him what to do, as if he were a child.	4. He feels unloved because he does not feel admired.
5. She expresses her upset feelings indirectly with rhethorical questions like "How could you do that?"	5. He feels unloved because he feels she has taken away her approval of him. He no longer feels like the good guy.
6. When he makes decisions or takes initiatives she corrects or criticizes him.	6. He feels unloved because she does not encourage him to do things on his own.
Mistakes men make	Why she doesn't feel loved
1. He doesn't listen, gets easily distracted, doesn't ask interested or concerned questions.	1. She feels unloved because he is not attentive or showing that he cares.
2. He takes her feelings literally and corrects her. He thinks she is asking for solutions so he gives advice.	2. She feels unloved because he doesn't understand her.
3. He listens but then gets angry and blame her for upsetting him or for bringing him down.	3. She feels unloved because he doesn't respect her feelings.
4. He minimizess the importance of her feelings and needs. He makes children or work more important.	4. She feels unloved because he is not devoted to her and doesn't honor her as special.
5. When she is upset, he explains why he is right and why she should not be upset.	5. She feels unloved because he doesn't validate her feelings but instead makes her feel wrong and unsupported.
6. After listening he says nothing or just walks away.	6. She feels insecure because she doesn't get the reassurance she needs.

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Quotes 3:

"The last thing a woman needs when she is on her way down is someone telling her why shouldnt be down. What she needs is someone to be with her as she goes down, to listen to her while she shares her feelings, and to empathize with what is going through. Even if a man cant fully understand why a woman feels overwhelmed, he can offer his love, attention and support.

"Telling a woman she shouldnt feel hurt is about the worst thing a man can say. It hurts her even more, like poking a stick into an open wound."

"When a woman is feeling hurt, she may sound as if she is blaming him. But if she is given care and understanding, the blame will disapper. Trying to explain to her why she shouldnt be hurt will make matters much worse."

"What she needs is his understanding of why she is hurting."

"Most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within 5 minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing."

"It is not what we say that hurts but how we says it."

"He is aware neither of how uncaring he sounds nor of how hurtful this is to his partner. At such times, a simple disagreement may sound like an attack to a woman; a request turns into an order. Naturally a woman feels resistant to this unloving approach, even when she would be otherwise receptive to the content of what he was saying."

"Because he does not understand her reaction, he focuses more on explaining the merit of what is saying instead of correcting the way he is saying it."

"He has no idea that he is starting an argument; he thinks she is arguing with him. He defends his point of view while she defends herself from his sharpened expressions, which are hurtful to her."

A common male/female basic patten:

1. A woman expresses her upset feelings about "XYZ."
	2. A man explains why she should't be upset about "XYZ."
3. She feels invalidated and becomes more upset. (She is now more upset about being invalidated than about "XYZ.")
	4. He feels her disapproval and becomes upset. He blames her for upsetting him and expects an apology before making up.
5. She apologizes and wonders what happened, or she becomes more upset and the argument escalates into a battle.

"To avoid painful arguments it is important to recoginize how men unknowingly invalidate and how unknowingly women send messages of dispproval."
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Quotes 4:

Intimidation always weaken trust in a relationship.To muscle your way into getting what you want by making others look wrong is a sure way to fail in a relationship.