think.. think..! Think about my future..

Its so hard to find what i want to do in the future. I cant foresee myself doing anything. Adding on to my frustration is me without enough confidence to do anything.

My results are out, and accordingly enough to my expectations, its a 3rd class honor. What can i do with this cert~! Certainly there are people who has skills above me, that's what my interviewer told me. ='( (And of cos i realised that without him saying)

Its too late to wish I had thought about my future when i was schooling. Cos when ure in school, u would never bother with your own future. Nothing but continue to study and play.

Its me with my lack of confidence, again. Should I ever think about being an admin assistant or other lower-paying jobs again, my lack of confidence has reached its peak!

Speaking of that, I ve had alot of negative emotions lately. Its not bcos of PMS. Its just cos i know myself. Shoots.. what can i do?! what can i do?!

Please dont say stick to IT. Bcos even i know that's hard. I'm sure all my classmates or course mates know this. And it doesnt matter without any inspiration in me~! With only a tiny satisfaction if others can appreciate my work can bring me no further.

If things are so simple and dull, why do we live? Do we live for the purpose of living? Or do we have a goal that we must accomplish as we are living? Why are most people always eager to go home after work? Is it bcos their work has no meaning to their lives?

I read this abstract from a website, for this philosopher encourage ppl not to work. He encourages ppl to enjoy and live, and not working to work. But i dont agree with one statement: Make people hate you! (why would you want to make so many enemies with yourselves to make your life difficult? is it for challenge? sigh~) Anyway, I forgot where i found this website. But overall I agree with what he was saying.

Okay, what i enjoy everyday now: is to stay at home, play RPGs, and watch anime! (I know that im a nerd.) If only I can apply for RPG-beta tester. LOL! but den again, a lot of nerds love to do the same thing as me. haha. hmm. one fun job to think about. (I would change games to play if i dont like that simulation or that gameplay enough.)