feeling damn tired..

afraid to sleep more.. fearing that i might wanna sleep even more. and den sleep de whole day away.

well den again, since i dont accomplish anything in a day, might as well sleep. haha.


sometimes i just hate to sleep, cos i dislike dreams. Sometimes they are so real that u will find urself disappointed when u wake up. Sometimes they are so scary u wake up in de middle of de night and soothe urself. Sometimes they gave u several discomfort dreams that u dont get when u wake up, so u wonder why u ve that dream.

Then again, i like anime. Cos normally I watch anime that are not real, that can be differentiate from reality. When i stop watching it, i come back to "my" world. Somehow i like what i can control, and dislike what i cant.

U only sleep when u need rest. I hope i can sleep without dreams. There is never once i ve dreamless night. Or probably i know that i ve a dream, but that i forgot what dream that was. Maybe i keep thinking before i turned in, so thats why i will not stop thinking even when im sleeping.

I used to want to find out what my dream meant. I heard that they mean different kind of perceptions or personalities in ur life. Now, i wave that thought away. Probably i noe that i will have a different kind of dream once i change my thinking towards life. I know that my whole life up till now, my dreams seem to be de same. Sounds like deja vu in dreams. That would only mean that i have the same thoughts in me since then.

Things that i can control and things that i cant. Frustrated..

my interest lifespan is short. i noe that myself, even though i have a few interests myself. For example, i can be interested in a book. but once i finished that book, i wouldnt read another one, unless de content fascinates me.

RPG and anime are ones that would sustain my interest for as long as possible. Kevin says that i watch anime longer than he plays his game in a day. haha. Or i can play RPG from morning to night. wahaha~ Nerd~!

Contrastingly, that time when i wanna learn jap, i didnt continue to stage 2. Nor took de JLPT exam. After all, its for an interest. I dont ve to ve de cert. My teacher was kinda disappointed haha. Not being to brag but cos i learned abit better than other students.

Anyway, that interest that sparked me in the beginning began to fade, and i regress to my fav and only games and anime lol.

Okay, kevin and i bought these few fact books from borders cos its interesting and of its knowledge. haha. and since it was going at 3 books for 2 books price, we bought 6. =D Those books are very, mind intriguing, mostly philosophy and logic books, which is why it can be hard to digest when u read it. Still its definitely fun for me to learn those "facts". =P Im still reading it. haha.

If i want to work, i definitely want to work in a place where it can hold my interests for long haha. How can u work as a philosopher? i cant write. hehe.

i'll stop here cos my thoughts run until here for now. haha. cya!