Had ktv session with colleagues yday at liang court's party world.

Was having fun, although some disruption came in from time to time, it didnt affect me singing, just felt annoyed. Imagine just bringing your son to ktv with your colleagues, but its alright. He just sits there reading in a very very dim light. What is she thinking?

Cant really sing with a big group with more than 4 ppl. In the end, i didnt really get to sing all that i wanted to sing in 3 hours. Sigh.

Went home at 11.

occasionally i get a whiff of your smell.. and it reminds me of you. =)

online just to talk to you. =DD

The life cycle of a relationship

http://www.videojug.com/interview/the-life-cycle-of-a-relationship


I am in the commitment phase already, and i am glad. =)

I am jealous of ur frens...

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At my age I suppose to be having fun, but I'm too zai nu alrdy.. haha.. even my uncle says me.. -.-

But but but... butter factory lol.. if only I have a mini bar...=3

Nua..

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LOL!! this interview of Mayday on their latest 3D movie is funny...!



任贤齐和刘若英“带路”
　　新浪娱乐：听说任贤齐(小齐)和刘若英(奶茶)有出演这部影片，能不能介绍一下他们的角色？

　　阿信：任贤齐和刘若英义务帮我们跨刀，在电影演出非常重要的角色。其实我们希望留给大家更多想象和惊喜的空间，所以我们也不能跟大家讲小齐哥其实演的就是一个计程车司机。

　　冠佑：这不能讲。

　　阿信：那奶茶姐演的就是一个为情所困的一个女孩。

　　冠佑：这也千万不能说。

　　阿信：也是秘密。

　　石头：也不能说她就是坐在那辆计程车上面。

　　冠佑：这更不能说。

　　阿信：都不能讲，没有一个能讲的。

　　玛莎：所以也不能讲他们俩有发生一段故事。

　　冠佑：这是秘密，这不能说。

        阿信：电影的宣传就是这么神奇。因为是电影的新人，才发现这么多动人和引人入胜的东西统统不能讲。那我们今天就不讲太多。

　　玛莎：那他们两个人有因为这个电影传绯闻么？

　　阿信：要传，一定要传，但是小齐哥已经……

　　玛莎：结婚了。

       阿信：对。所以没办法传。所以就你负责和奶茶姐传绯闻。

　   玛莎：我有这个荣幸。

Haha!!!

Happy bday to me~ happy bday to me~ HAppy Bday to meee~~ happy bday to me....


My bday wishes is for my closed ones to find time to meet up to celebrate my bday!! =DD

Which is wad they are doing right now! yay!

Happy bday to me~...

yup im sinking..

i hate to give up, but im pessimistic..

I'm in a vortex of mixed feelings. I haven felt like this before. I'm so dead..
I boarded a pirate ship of no return. I would probably sink with it. =(

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I believe tat as long as u have someone in ur heart, he or she is not easily replaced by someone no matter how much interaction u make with them. It's someone who u think about when u wake up in de morning..=)

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Another morning of loving u..<3

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Adapted from facebook:

我喜歡你，那我可以憑一時的衝動為你做好多好多的事，不計較你是否喜歡我；

但我不敢愛你，因為如果愛你，我會期望你為我做同樣的事，時間久了我會不平衡。


我喜歡你，那我可以傻傻地喜歡著你；

但我不敢愛你，因為我認為愛，應該是相互的。


我喜歡你，那我可以一直很激情地瘋狂地；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太理智，我總會在對比中迷失自己。


我喜歡你，那我可以默默地，偶爾跳出來嚇你一跳；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太需要一直好好表現，永遠拴住你的心，我暫時還沒有那個自信。

Hai Ku Shi Lan 海枯石爛 - Olivia Ong


詞:施人誠/仔仔(Will Peng)
曲:仔仔(Will Peng)

這幾天你在那個城市天氣一定晴朗
因為你就是個太陽
有空想念我的話就上線來說晚安
讓夢裡星光燦爛

別再擔心我什麼了 別把我寵壞
只要你平安回來 就夠浪漫

這幾天沒有你在當然有些平淡孤單
但我感謝這孤單
讓我更加確定你是我缺少了那一半
完整我的那一半

不怕明天的世界 會變成怎麼樣
每天看見你笑臉 我就心安
不管外面的世界 想變成怎樣
我們還有我們的 小小天堂

我有你放在心上 生命就有了重量
風來也不會飄盪
一起看海枯石爛 一起等地老天荒
慢慢愛 不慌不忙

我有你守在身旁 眼睛就可以勇敢
看歲月怎麼漫長
就算真海枯石爛 就算已天老天荒
還相愛 就沒遺憾 不遺憾

不怕明天的世界 會變成怎麼樣
每天看見你笑臉 我就心安
不管外面的世界 想變成怎樣
我們還有我們的 小小天堂

Credit: Incomplete Melody
-------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if you still read my blog, but i just want to tell you that:


这一段日子里，谢谢你，以及对不起。我现在才解答心里一直在问的问题。谢谢你帮我找到答案。不管以后你会在那里，我都会祝福你的。

有句话说：解铃还须系铃人。

我现在真得明白这句话的含义。即使你不能原谅我，请你还是一定要过的幸福。我真心祝福你。

wah, friday movie is bad..

the show was bad. My colleague bought us each one largo combo, which popcorn i cannot even finish half. Honestly, when she asked me, i tot that 1 large combo was shared between the 3 of us. Alamak...

In the end, i couldnt eat anything else after that, well that combo was my dinner. While she and her fren ate ramen, i ate an egg.

Happily we went shopping, and went starbucks to get us each a cup of drink. I ordered green tea latte.

Soon we went home. I went to sleep, and by dawn, my stomach got quesy. I went to puke and i gotten diarrhoea. Nope, i didnt went to the doc. I was by that time, unable to walk and was sleeping the whole day.

This morning i feel alot better, but im still having diarrhoea and my stomach is still feeling pain.

Shucks man! Think i will go see a doc later if it doesnt get better.

stupid me.. =.=

my mum says my bro miss home already. haha! i was like, "so fast?! its been barely 1 month.."

Well, its still always nice to know that my bro miss home.

During the weeks before he left for India, he was always going out. He said its a farewell gathering. And den become sick because of staying out too late. =.= (still sick, dunno why, gosh, pls not bcos of any diseases caught there! den again de city he's staying at should be safe.)

cos i nv heard of him becoming bored before. LOL~~

And we miss him too. =)


My dad went to Qidong (China province) again one week Gw left for India. So now its just me and my mum. =.= Bcos she dislikes to peel fruits..... hahaa! we always rely on my dad for fruits after dinner. Well, he's coming back next week though. =D


For the both of them, just be safe.

i know i am always slow in everything. I never thought that this physical and mentally weakness could hinder me in my work. My boss now always scold me that im slow. I cant give any excuses, even though i told him before that i process things abit slowly.

I dont know, maybe i need to train my brain. Maybe i need to see a doc. Does it really affect my attitude and behaviour? ='(

My sup always tell me that my work is the slackest of all IT work. I dont see how to disagree with her. Maybe i haven got the brain for IT, after all. My negative thinking always fail to encourage myself.

I like to think that i am me, no matter how many weakness i have. I know that of cos i will hinder myself from doing alot of things, whether by chance or not. I haven gotten any passion or motivation since i wrote on my motivation post.



Each day when i wake up, when i think that i have to get to work in a long journey, i start to feel my body is dying each day. I feel mentally and physically stressed and drained everyday. I am not sure how long my body can take this. I wish the circle line could be completed as soon as possible.

Quoted from my friend's fb post:

"When a woman is silent, she may either be thinking, tired of waiting, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above."

我肯定是哪里少了根筋… 实在是像白痴… 自己怎么死都不知道… zzz....

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='( fb is a bad media..

Hmmm... just finish watching a 44 episodes historical Chinese drama again.. keep watching drama without doing any other things..... no wonder ppl find me boring... -.-

Some motivation pls? I lazy to move.. haha..

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怕不怕被拒绝
怕不怕被省略
你怕不怕被沦落在宿命中妥协
当真爱宣告从缺
骄傲的玫瑰正一片一片枯萎
尽管你抱歉忏悔
真心一旦坠跌就不能飞

别指望我谅解
别指望我体会
爱不是点头就能挽回
快乐或悲伤没什么分别
心碎到终点会迎刃而解

别指望我谅解
别指望我体会
爱不是注定要填你的缺
太多的是非来不及杜绝
更不想依恋这残缺的美
残缺的迂回


its like this song is sung to me.. ='(

if a person can make even an adult pour frustrated tears, I wonder wad kind of a person he is to have de capabilities to do that..

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2 years later, my brother will have a successful career, a life he wanted and would carry on this life in a direction, while i am a fickle-minded girl who doesn't know wad she wants. I cannot see my future and 2 years later, i will be the same person as i am now, not sure where my direction is.

Who am i? What do i want? Who do i want to be?

So many questions that i asked myself since i was in poly. And for so many years, i never bother returning the answers to my own questions. That was b'cos i had a straight line while i was in school, not bothering about the future at all. Now that school lives are over, i begin to worry. What am i good for? Am i good in anything at all?

One of my colleagues says that i am a fickle-minded person in a humorous conversation, which i took her words seriously only now.

Hai.. sorry no conclusion.. just alot on my mind. Hmm..

Janice called Anita the online Psychic to know her future

Anita said:

''Janice dear, go back to the part where you said 'no way' and change it to 'yes way' as now your future will change for the better. More opportunities will come your way, you just have to recognize the chances you get offered and not say 'I can't' or 'I don't know how'.''
_____________________________________________________________________
Hmm.. interesting prediction..

i am so tired that i dont want to do anything. Im even using the keyboard on my lap haha.

Just want to zzz..

Weekends are here to stay again, =D

Aiya, normally when i read down syndrome (I'm not having this disease but similar) symptoms, i wonder if i'm really a retard, only mildly. To be honest, I have difficulty expressing my emotions and hence, communicate my thoughts to ppl. I am easily short-term. Plenty to do with my common sense as well. Sometimes, i really wonder where the hell is my common sense? Well, that is one symptom of my condition. Of cos, the others are my physical conditions.

Probably I develop autism since childhood, which is why i am depressed all the time, and always having negative emotions.

Something is definitely wrong with me. Outsiders can't see it, they just think that I'm a wierd person. Not even my family members. They don't even bother to check up the disease that i have. zZzz.. And I can feel it. I can feel people's eyes. It is not paranoid la.. dui.. I have been dealing with this everyday since i was young okay! And i try to be normal in every way. But of cos i know it's not enough. It's really hard.

It's like having a down syndrome, at least ppl knows that you are born this way bcos it's visible unless it's mild.

Yea I'm also having mild symptoms also, which is why i am seen as a 'fit' person. In fact, i am not. There's a lot of things i cannot do. i am not pampered! i just cannot do some basic tasks! Would ppl pls understand?! It's not like an overnight thing where i can improved my symptoms and be a normal girl once and for all! ='((( I desire to be a lovely girl.

i think i need social counselling. =.='' I am glad this blog is a place for me to shout.

*breathe in, breathe out*

omg..! This morning, i kena chi-tofu by an uncle! He must deliberate one leh.. not once but 3 times!! Don't put your bag down on the floor if the train is darn packed! And den when you want to move and thus picking up your bag, you "accidentally" butt another person!! zzZzz... This uncle, "accidentally" butt me 2 times on the last pick up of his bag! =.=''''''''''' This must be the joy of that uncle, who goes to work everyday happily butting into women.. sai!

Pls, normally I blame the women who dresses skinky. Like a HR executive I know, claims that a man on the bus keep trying to fall onto her when the bus stops! Yea, thats only 'cos you wear like, nothing!! Sorry for the complains, but yea i don't like her.

And well, ppl, you know how i dress up for work. Always pants. haha! I'm the least attractive working girl i know. LOL! Refer to my last post if you want to know why.

___________________________________________________________________

Good and nice ppl don't know how to say "no". And that's when they are bullied often also, and doing work for ppl they aren't supposed to. That is really really selfish of the person who bully you. What? Like you are the most busiest person in the world and no one else is?!

Yea, i am talking about myself. Not saying that i am good and nice, but i just don't like to argue much. Nvm, so long that job relates to mine.

Sigh~

I don't know how to change the current me, to protect myself. And not to be guillable. I like being a simple me. Which is why i don't like the high society. Which is somewhere beyond me.


Like I'm looking a patch of greener and peaceful grassland again.


Doesn't de words sound and feel beautiful? haha..

i know why i blog nearly everyday. Cos i just like to type something.. and I am bored!

10 Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job

i score 6/10. That is how bad that i want to quit my job. Really feel stressed out everyday, never feel excited to go to work. Which is why i aim to find a job which i'm really passionate about! That step and i complete half my life goal. The only thing is my unknown passion. haha.

I don't really need the money now, cos my parents are still working. So probably i could go for it while I'm still young. I was thinking hard yday about what would make me happy. I thought about volunteering at old folks home, again. Some times thinking about volunteering makes me feel like a hypocrite. Me? A probably most naive and selfish and helpless girl in the entire universe who wants to do volunteer? yea right, ha-ha.

That's the 'devil' me clouding my mind. The 'angel' me says yup! Although I'm helpless, i want to be near those who needs me and feels happy to see me everyday! The most peaceful job on earth, is to be away from the high working societies that sees challenges and profits everyday.

And i hate IT. It sucks to tell people that a girl like me is doing programming, and that to wear nice clothes to your office everyday is like overdoing it. No one sees you, you are stuck at the back-end! (Well, that AND everyone in my office is just damn casual) Yup, I'm the bitch that complains now. Yay for me.

And the irritating part is, i still got work to do. As in the office. Sucks big time. Suck thumb man. and hope to finish these work as soon as possible b4 tendering. Woah, don't think me as bad leh. I am still 'abit' responsible for my job 'kay?!

Back to that lifestyle again. =.=''

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/10-Signs-Its-Time-To-Quit-usnews-122274365.html?x=0

i really think i do not belong in this working world. why else would i feel terribly perturbed every day?

Last Thurs, my colleagues and i went for the movie, Battle at LA, at cineleisure after work. Nice movie, was deeply moved by the story, so that goes to show how good it is. haha. It's not just the plot, its the acting.

Some times when i see a war movie, i wonder about the bonds between the soldiers. I know we, ladies, are never able to feel this kinda bond. One can only wonder. Of cos, the men / soldiers do know it! I mean, this bond is strange, it is more than a friend-to-friend love, cos a normal good friend wouldn't just risk his life for another friend! These soldiers have been through thick-and-thin together, so i wouldn't belittle their bonds for each other. And this bond is more than a BFF relationship. That's why it's baffling. =))

Anyways, it was a good show and we parted our ways after the movie.

____________________________________________________________________

Sat finally came, and it was fun at MBS!

Yday, we had buffet teabreak at the sands skypark after check-in, den went to get lion king tickets / explore /shop for bath salt, haha!

After bathing, my mum, bro and i went to the theatre at 8pm. The musical / stage performance was great! Still tempting to watch the lion king movie haha. I believe most of you knows the story of lion king, so if you do know, its a great and touching movie. I was so moved by the performance that i nearly cry. (Thankfully it didnt roll down my eyes.)

I clapped so hard after the whole performance ended that my hands hurt. =D Normally I enjoy a great concert / performance and I know it, cos at the end, I would clap thousands times harder than when i did during the show. =)

Anyways, we went to eat supper and by the time we reached our room it was alrdy 12 plus.


Woke up at 8am in the morning. Went to watch my mum and bro dip into the pool (dip only hor, not swim). I didnt went in cos the length of the pool and the crowd defeats my purpose of being there to swim. =( If you don't know what i mean, see the pic that i posted in fb.

Okay, went to eat breakfast after that and den went back to the room. Honestly, if it wasn't for the lounge access, the benefits of the Club room, and the lion king, we would have nothing to do in MBS. haha! The night before, my mum and bro went to have evening mini buffet before the lion king musical, while i bathed, and had free flows of champagne~!

Checked-out at 12 and cabbed home. =)

need to start reading the books that i bought. bought another 2 books while in HMV cos they were selling 2 books for 20 bucks.. One is Sherlock Holmes, the complete novel and stories and the other book is an interesting book about small rules for little problems that we have in our daily lives.

didnt really read my books every weekends. I was planning to read them on weekends but den i would always go out. haha. or probably watch my drama and anime. So in the end, i read a small part of each of my books. haha. Yup, all with bookmarks indicating the pages i read until. It is so unlike me. 'Cos i'm someone who will finish one book before starting another. Luckily i finish "He's not that into you" quite fast and yea i finished watching the movie also. LOL~

Anws, gonna plan for upcoming gatherings. See you girls soon! =DD

Btw, i learned to fly kite today! =) so happy~! haha.. It's a big achievement to see the kite flying high in the sky after i struggle to keep it flying (of cos with the help of Jiejin). =DD

I think i should learn new stuff every time i have got the opportunity to do so. Probably should change my mindset of "I can't do it one" to "I can do it!". Well, the spur of wanting to try kite-flying taught me so. =)

I wonder if i resign now, what kind of job should i look for next? what other opportunities and challenges await me?

Time to make decisions again. It's a chore, but every time i want to make a decision regarding my life, i feel motivating.

Some time in the past, i learned not to regret on the decisions I've make. Even if it's probably wrong. Move on with the decisions you make. But make sure you are sure of the road in front of you. 'Cos you control your own life. =)

Brought another pair of shoes yday while shopping at vivo.

Found another brand that i like! Its naturalizer! Comfortable and suitable for my feet. Although the new pair seems as high as the one i got in tokyo. I love that tokyo pair, but bcos i wash it, de leather loosen and i cant wear it anymore. =((

Anyways, i ve a pair of Hush puppies (in shoe closet), 2 pairs of Scholls, 1 pair of Sketcher, and a new pair of Naturalizer! I'm getting used to abit of heights cos i always like a good pair of shoes with heights. Mind you, they are not heels (i cant wear heels and stilettos.) And well, i start to learn to walk properly anyway since my physio, so hopefully its not a problem. =)) Besides, I realizes i starting to dislike flat shoes which really hurt my feet after i stand / walk for a tad too long. My good pair of Sketcher, with a big of height and comfortable, is really lasting for shopping haha. (Yes, I have flat foot. Maybe that's why flat shoes is bad for me. Although probably they are more stable for me.)

Oh and i have gotten a gym ball for my physio as well. I used it once when I was in TTSH and i found it quite useful. I haven wash it and use it yet. Starting to use next week. Hopefully it helps to strengthen my hips and balancing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wish i have a passion about something. That i will do something that i will not regret doing. And doing them enthusiastically. This way I will know that i live for something.

Hm, something i like and i dreamt about. I dreamed about being a professional / good swimmer (not limited by any boundaries), but i don't wanna earn money by being a swimmer. Just something that i want to show others that I'm good at and proud of.

I used to think about being in a volunteering organisation. Those for helping others and stuffs like that. Not to say that I'm a Saint la, but it feels good to help. =) Thinking of joining SOS as a volunteer now. I don't know why. I know I would lend my ear to anyone in distress if it will make them feel better. =) Though it's a tiring work.

"...as a way of helping others and contributing to the society. And I thought that it is never too early or late to start volunteering. " -- quoted from a female volunteer in SOS

"Figuratively, “Good Samaritans” are persons who go out of their way to perform acts of kindness to others, especially strangers." -- abstracted taken from Answers.com


Sometimes I wonder the interesting facts and knowledge being a psychologist, yet of cos im not qualify to be one. My bro always tell me that I'm not suitable to be one. Maybe, but I'm always intrigued by the human's emotions and behaviors. Even when I walk on the streets, I will sometimes differ why some strangers behave in the way they do. Haha, really intriguing.

I would try to understand why some colleagues say the things they say. It could be totally hurting, but i wonder why? Is it because of something / emotions / people that triggers these? Okay, sometimes i really think why they are so judgmental as in they think so badly of another person(s). Can't they put themselves in other people's shoes? But of cos, I would never get involved in all of these politics. That's why i preferred to work somewhere with a bit of "人情味". Work is never understanding, but people can be.


Questions of the mind. Again.

have you donate?

http://redcross.org.sg/Donation-Channels-Japan-Tsunami-Earthquake.phtml

leave me alone. it's hard as it is already.

Thoughts of a spur moment:

Sometimes i wonder what economic crisis or other smaller issues gonna matter anymore, when bigger problems like the earth itself is toppling upside down?

So i wonder why we still trying to work hard, without seeing the bigger picture of the world problem? What will happen 20-50 years later? Will de world finally die? Whats our united solution / combat against the end of the world?

While watching the discovery channel of the search in the universe a few month ago, i wonder about how huge our universe is, and yet people worry about what kind of leisure lives they should be living in? My question is, is money, now, that important? Or is survival more important? or money = survival in your life? It makes me want to cry. Is that a passion about protecting the earth?

starting to watch drama again, despite fatigue from work haha! Anws, been watching 犀利人妻。

de main actress is like me like that, who wants nothing but a loving family. But den something changes her to be a modern woman, someone who not only loves others, but loves herself too. I realised that by trying to build and show confidence, one must also feel pretty, other than displaying your beauty(i dont mean slim and pretty here, just a confident you!), to feel confident.

the main character in the show is my idol now. The actress playing her is also my idol. I dont know how she do it, but she is able to play from a role of a naive housewife who live only for others, to a role of a confident working woman. I mean, think about it~! how did she manage to act this well? Such a drastic change for a housewife who has never know anything about the outside world, other than her cosy home.

I learn something from that drama.

Looking at her is like looking at myself. I know i need this kinda change. But i have no support. All i can do is to believe in myself. And probably read self-enhancement books. xD


Smiling everyday should be my motto from now on. =D When you smile, you think positive. And when you think positive, you feel happy. That makes you smile more.

That's what i did today after work. I realised I need to smile more. So i try. And yes, i feel a whole lot happier. =) (Okay i didnt smile widely so that people wouldn't start to think that i'm crazy!)

Quote of the day: "You are what you think."

- abstracted from Mind Power, by James Borg.

Yea, Mind Power is another self-help book i bought.

All i wanted to do on that day was to buy myself lots of books to read. But den i came across these interesting book that i spend the "entire" day standing there and reading another book. I didnt buy that book cos its damn ex!! 40 bucks! might as well just stand there and read. haha.


I was trying to share this thought that i had when i was in train back to home today. But den i forgot wad it was. Was definitely interesting, haha.

Oh i remember, when i look into the mirror. Random comment: A good mascara and a good lip balm is all i need. =) (Apply a thin layer of foundation and you're good to go.)

It's like a good pair of shoes brings you to wherever you wanna go. It's true, my current good pair of shoes can make me walk longer without fatigue. haha. My last mascara fail me after a few hours of applying. This current one last de whole day. =) That why i love it! haha.


Love and Signed, =P
JaN

i wish i could be typing all my feelings here. =(

Sometimes i dont wish to post on this blog 'cos i don't know who might be reading it.

Anyways, whatever. =)

Work is as per normal. Need to start remembering how the system works. =(


Actually i kinda have nothing to post today. Just feel like typing that's all. It's true that i convey myself better in words, cos i don't know how to express myself verbally. It's no wonder that friends don't know how to talk to me. haha. I don't blame them. But if i were to turn my words verbally, I would come out with alot of stuffs that you would also probably find boring. Lectures of life, opinions on people, complaints. I don't know, maybe i am just scared to talk. 'cos i have little knowledge, so i rather spew nonsense all the time and have people laughing at me or with me. haha. Oh yea, and another thing is cos, my words don't have any credit in them. It's like people often thinking i'm joking?? i don't know.

I have not find any ultimate life goals yet. I just know that i need a higher salary, that's all. =) Is that a goal? haha. I need to save money, to buy my own house. Well, probably loan it first from my parents. I'm sure they will support me financially. But.. nevermind. Anyways, that's my goal from now. =) Glad I have something to think about for the future. I don't mind living in a cosy house where i can limit my housekeeping chores, haha, i'm a lazy person ya know.

Think sexy. =P haha. I don't know why my own house makes me feel sexy. I start to think what kind of cloth makes me feel sexy. hmm. Lace? Silk? I guess it's silk. Smooth and silky. I need to redo my own closet, buy more silky clothes, that fits my body. =)) I can decorate my room with lace though. I know of this push cart in imm that sells alot of decoration in lace. haha. Was planning to ask my mum to buy, but they always walk past it and walk straight in to giant. =.='

I want my own dresser table! Yes i know you thought i have one. Please, if you look closely, that's supposed to be a computer table! And my mirror is paste on my wardrobe, if you girls notice when you come my house. Well, i did it myself though, aesthetic looking i thought.

Anyways, that's not the point. The whole point is, i want my room to be a lady's room! =.=' Yea maybe some decorations might help. haha. I have already 2 puzzles frame - one pooh and one anime one. Still i am proud of these two. haha. Might want to make more puzzles! (and with nowhere to hang.) Need to start clearing things that i don't want to make more space. Best furniture i thought is the most useful around my room. My sofa!! haha. 'cos i always dump my bags and clothes on it. (And make a pile lol!)

Progress, progress. Hopefully, they help in building my life. Baby steps at a time. =)

Love,
JaN

(p.s: i kinda wanna sign off every after post. haha.)

Trying to build self confidence. And building / improving on a new me. I do not have the courage to try new stuffs in the past, and have no wish to do them 'cos im always in my comfort zone.

Now i know i have to try to move out of my comfort zone, which I have no idea what comes first. All because of finding the inner sanctum of myself, to find the new and sexy me. I love myself and i am going to amplify that notion. The books that I bought are going to help me (or so i think). I hope that's not being selfish by loving myself first. haha.

I always wonder, how to love others when I cannot even love myself first? I need to take this mojo makeover before i learn how to love other people. In my 26 years of life, I have never really know this, but i am starting to learn now. Although I might still be me, I probably will feel differently after i grasp this knowledge of learning to love myself more.


Step 1: I finally find the courage to visit the doctor and physical therapy. (For me this is a huge step to mold myself.)

Step 2: I need to learn how to love and treasure myself more.

Step 3: Finding my own goal and purpose in life. Let me start climbing the career ladder. =)

Step 4: The rest can come later.


Well, i do hope that i have support from friends and family though. As i work through all this, I will need some moral support. =) 'Cos it's tough to make this journey all by myself. (Although I'm pretty sure i still can do it.)

I wonder if finding love trigger a big motivation of these? Everyone wants to be loved. =)) I'm sure I have my answer by now. Yes, it is. Whether it's finding love of myself or by others. I still want to be loved.


Okay, back to the process of building a new me..

My life is just so... so... hahaha~!

anyways, been spending alot on clothes. =.=
Just went kinokuniya on last sat to buy myself 5 books lol. Did nothing but shopping this few weekends haha. Until i ran out of things to buy.

Hmm. Was hanging out at jp on sat also. Went into sasa to try out on tons of perfume before deciding which one to get. Not getting yet cos am planning to ask my dad to get from dfs when he come back from china next week. haha.

Finally gotten a hair dryer, though its not the one that i was planning to get. Nevertheless, got a 'salon' kinda hair dryer.

I broke my fav blusher ='( It was my mum's but i like it cos i like the brush and the glitter color. Meanwhile im just lazy to powder myself before going work. No one's looking anyways. haha.


Things are not looking up. ='(

been doing my physio exercises diligently, almost every night.. =x

anyway, hope it pays off. probably its in my brain, but i think its working. haha..

actually physio therapy is good for ppl who has weak muscles, and people who dunno how to exercise the correct way. its not only for ppl who has these muscles / joints problem but also for normal ppl who dont exercise regularly bcos of their stressful lifestyle. These bit of exercises can also help. =))


seriously, one of my dream is to wear high heels and/or walk confidently, and de ability to do different kinds of exercises, like hiking or running. if really, this works, i am not far from my dream. =DDD i even wouldnt mind jogging everyday, if i am able to jog without tripping haha.

Funny how ppl need to grow to make them stronger. I know i need to. =)

My decision is made.. i made my points.

Life is all about decisions. Plenty of stuffs go thru my mind lately. Interesting things that i wouldn't think before. Maybe cos im too simple? haha..

Is it so hard to measure a person's feelings? Y can 2 couples stand each others despite one has no feeling for de other no matter wad? Is it cos de one who doesn't feel need not put much or no effort required of? Because I don't care so I don't put effort?

Wad is my goal or priority in life? Sigh...

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yday went for my 2nd physio with my family. den had brunch(nasi lemak/ayam penyet) near my bro's school(adam's food centre) and went shopping in OG(de one opp simlim) with my parents.

we den got tired of walking around with nothing to buy, and left to drive to bukit timah, while waiting to pick my bro up for dinner. my mum saw this orange farm, where they sell all the mandarin/lime plants, drive in and there they bought one pot of medium-sized mandarin-orange/lime plant.

fetched my bro from sch and drove down to kallang long beach king to eat dinner. was quite early when we reach there so was quite comfortable eating. too bad de crab werent as big as de one we had in east coast main branch. =( but well, the price worth it.



hmmm, den is just pms pms pms. sucks.

y is it so hard??

i want wad i want and desire... =((

i was searching for 'One Piece Wanted' puzzle for a long time cos comic connection dont have them anymore. =(

But finally, i found it at the Nex's comic connection! haha.. now left for de frame, before i can start working on de puzzle..

If my hobby can turn into this, i might hang alot of frames on my wall. lol.

nothing much going on. i dont feel like going out after work. just wanna go home and rest. i need to sleep early, same as ever hah.

i read some news that facing a screen for more than 2 hours a day can cause heart disease. okay, how not to face a screen when im a programmer?! plus, almost everybody needs to work with a pc wad... okay, how abt all doctors limit us to work for every 2 hours, u need a 15 mins break. thats will be so cool.. haha. fine, i need to face away every 2 hours den. need to set alarm to remind myself.....


arr need to go bath and sleep now. i can feel my body sleepingggg... night..

Happy new year everyone!

New year resolution for me is just to do my physio therapy everyday. Probably think before speaking. n be nicer to my bf. Lol! Do things myself without relying on ppl. put cellulite cream everyday =D

Hmmm.. that's all I can think of... haha... shall post again if I think of something..

Shall upload hk photos later. lol.. cos haven really had time to upload my dad's, plus my brother just got back wit my camera yday.

See ya!

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