now i know the real reason..

sigh...

self-help article:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Express-Yourself-to-Others&id=695513

HTC 8S is out in singtel!! Yes!!

Maybe getting it next week. Cool, i get to try windows 8 phone! lol..



Just an update.

• Hair - Cut to shoulder-length, kev says neater and i find it less hassle to maintain. 
• Job - Changed to NEC and been working as a tester. So far, been trying to maintain this job until 1-year contract ends. 3 months and counting...
• Entertainment - been having fun at weddings and games organised with kev and frens. Thanks alot ppl! Upcoming bbq sessions as well!

Been playing AniPang as well! Its a korean version of Bejeweled... Got addicted to it recently, haha!

Anyway, thats all for now. 

Hope to blog soon! =D

Things are moving fast nowadays. People getting married, having kids, stable jobs..

I have not changed. Started NEC job not too long ago. But because of it, my perceptions of things changed a little. Still, personality-wise, i'm the same as ever.

I have only one goal. And only Kevin and me can achieve it. But I don't really know how he thinks. =(


My BA is drilling things that I don't want to hear in my head. I'm starting to think about a lot of things. But it still doesn't change me for who i am. She keeps asking, "When you want to change??" I got pissed and in my head, "Why should I? I like being me." I don't even know if right now, i'm being right in thinking this way. Or Should I changed? I am not pro-active. I am lay-backed. So how? I can't even understand the way I walked. If I could I would. Somehow I lack a lot of common sense knowledge. I'm often ridiculed at as an excuse. But it's true! Simple things like, thinking alternate ways of doing things.. oh i know already. I'm too straight and lazy. Not flexible at all. Kevin always scold me of not thinking. If I over think, they would say why such simple things, you make it so complicated? I don't understand myself sometimes. No, in fact, all the times.

I have no understanding of myself. I expect people to know me, but they don't. I expect them to know me and explain to me who I am so that I can changed because I thought they would observe me. Guess I'm too selfish.

Then again, when people tell me to be my age, i'm thinking "Am I not? What do I have to do to be my age? Not being flippant? Think of others before thinking about myself? Or taking care of myself before thinking about others? " See? Life has no one straight things for me to do. I have totally no understanding of this.

I need people to tell me what to do. I do not analyse, and know what to do next. Sometimes I just follow what other people do. It's basic instinct. It does not mean I know what to do, if the same situation arises next time. I follow instructions. I am a follower. Because being a thinker is just too troublesome. Oh, so this is  who I am. I see. But people hate me for who I am. Sometimes I wondered why they bother to be with me if they dislike me. "This pampered child...." Man.. What is so wrong with being a follower who doesn't think? Enlighten me.

Yawnzz

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im starting to want to go diaso now.. haha.

been spending the first 2 weeks of my lunch since starting this job at vivo / harbourfront. And den shopping after lunch LOL!!

anyways, i  kinda like this job. Maybe cos what im doing now is probably more suited for me. May not want to change to programmer roles at all. haha.. been seeing the programmers' stressing at my work place. Even though BAs and testers also OT much, but i don't think we are as stressed out as the programmers do. (thinning hair, falling sick, etc etc..)

Got a chance to go down to my client's for UAT today. Kinda fun. haha. Wish my BA dont have to leave my modules soon, and leave me to survive on my own. I might die..! But come to think of it, its kinda exciting. Not that the job is. As in I will be responsible for the modules soon, and I think although it will probably get tougher, but I will like it.

I just hope that I can perform with the same tenacity that my BA does, cos i am not confident that i can take over her job of those modules! Its only been 2 week, for god's sake, and im supposed to learn as much as i can from her. =.=''

Gotta sleep soon, see ya people!

true.. i hate ppl making promises and not fulfilling it.

In fact, i think most women dislike it, not only me.

Its the timing and effort put.


Sigh.

how cool would that be if your phone is able to do everything, including payment and keys... i think iphone 5 is going to leap one giant step towards an all-in-one generation.

If its really going to be "clear" looking, i think i might buy it. =DD I'm getting revolutionized. Haha.

Night ppl. =))

Cyberbully is bad. Basically bullying is bad.

They say "bu zhi ze wu zui" (Ignorance shall be pardoned), but sometimes people deliberately harass others for the tiny comments they make.

My ex-colleague is getting married, so she post on her facebook her happiness. Instead of congratulating her on fb, 2 of my ex-colleagues trolled her. "You must be so happy." "Cannot sleep rite." etc. etc. Luckily, she is so kind as to "fu yan" entertain them. I got so annoyed by them 'cos they are known for their sharp tongues in office. Can't you just congratulate her, aunties? Must you be so sarcastic? *angry*

Maybe 'cos of her kind heart, she is often bully in office.

Sometimes, when they make this kind of remarks, I just smile or laugh. I am actually smirking at them. They just confirmed that they are who I thought them to be. Seriously, sometimes I actually make a smirk sound. I don't know whether they heard not, but true enough, this kind of sound is offensive. Haha, even I think so too.

"Thanks man, you just make my day."

Bullying is unwanted. Why would people do that? To your family or friends? To your colleagues whom you work with all the time? To your clients whom you need their businesses with? I don't get it, really I don't. Why are people so defensive? Sometimes when it's obvious they are just making an effort to start a small conversation, just don't start "trolling" people. Appreciate that they are trying to talk to you. Else you are just being plain mean.

Running Man and Shinhwa Broadcast make my day! I hope they continue broadcasting.

Congratulate to HaHa for the wedding news! Read More...

Congratulate to the wedding couples! Long live the couples!

What to believe, what not to believe.

Sometimes, facts gotten from the media might not not be what they seems after all. They may be altered by the media. So it is hard to trust the facts presented by them.

I wonder where they get all these facts from? Are they gathered by the whole world's survey / consensus or just a country's population survey? Then some facts may only applied to that groups.

UFO, BigFoot, Lochness Monster.. Who are to say they are true or not true? Images or videos may be edited. You may never know.

In any case, I only hope that UFOs are true, 'cos they would only prove that life outside Earth is still possible. And with an advance technology as well!! Maybe their intelligence is like 100 times of ours! If another universe has a planet like earth, how do we move there? How do we get resources from there? By the time they return, it would be like 20 years after we die or something. Speaking of that, I didn't know Neil Armstrong was still alive until recent news about his death! I thought he was not around anymore. Guess I thought I am super young. >.<''

Man, now i feel like writing a book or something. Just don't want to find office jobs anymore. Is that how entertainment jobs come about?

Aiyo.. I need a hp mobile charger. or else im gonna badger by my mum for my flat battery and not answering her phone call.

On de other hand, can i have some "zi you" not?

I cannot imagine myself getting mugged by ppl, not in a situation when i can be so helpless that my mum would faint after hearing the news. Sure, they always say "zi pa wan yi". My mum is just being over paranoid by herself. I am not worried abt myself. I'm more worried abt her. I am more scared that she is angry by herself just because my hp battery is flat. =.=

That's what happen when you put your children as your priority. You will always perceive us as children, never growing up, and needs taking care of. I don't know how a parent feel, but it sure put pressured on me. Anywhere i go, she worry. Worry if i will fall down, worry if i will get nabbed, worry if i will get raped, or whatever la.

Then she always say, "Aiya i don't want to care le la. You all grow up liao, want to do whatever you wish liao." Tsk, Mothers.

Please let go of me, Ma. You are watching after me too tightly. In the end, the one suffering is you. We always tell her that, but she never listen.

I do not get mugged in broad daylight/night bright light. From the train station to our flat is not one street of dark alley. Even if i come home late, I will take the stairs instead of the lift.

I do not fall that easily now. Even if i do, you must trust that i pull myself up, even if i do sprain my ankle. I did go to the doctor myself once after a minor sprain (Usually its severe. I broke it so many times I think its not working well now), right? I will try to look more before I leap.

Please do not expect me to come home straight after work at 8 pm, because ppl do OT. Just leave food in a bowl, and i promise to wash up after eating.

I will continue to buy food for myself, even if it kills me to go opposite. (I didn't today cos I was being lazy again)

And I will charge my hp battery if it gets low, okay?

Aiyo, I'm so gonna put these down in words and show it to her, just to reassure her and to motivate myself. Sometimes its hard and painful to be a weak and dumb daughter.

Men's concept vs Women's concept

Hmm.. wad should I do today..

So much things to do.. so hurried to get all done in little time possible..

Slacking....

Yday was the first concert that I had bought myself a Standing Pen ticket at Shinhwa concert.

I am not a hardcore fan of Shinhwa, but since no one goes with me, I had to get a standing pen ticket where my colleague had bought herself to.

Anyway, I knew I wouldn't see all of the six members clearly at where i was standing(being behind some tall ppl in front). But i was awed when I saw them in-person. Their first appearance, and im like "Omg, are they real? Wow, they are so pretty..." Hahaha...

I was stunned by the loud blaring music, the glaring lights and the screams of fans beside me (practically shouting into my eardrums =.=)

My apologies to Shinhwa hardcore fans out there:

I didnt know how to jump and sing along, b'cos firstly, i was squeezed like a sardine, 2ndly and sadly, i didnt know their previous songs that much.

Most of the time, I didnt understand what they were saying. But.. the concert ticket was worth it, bcos its the first concert at the standing pen and i got to see the idols close-up while enjoying the hard core fans' atmosphere (somehow like being one myself haha).

Seriously, most of the time i was thinking like "These 6 ppl must be so blessed now. So happy. " "Are they crying now?" "What were the rest of the members thinking?" "I would like to be one myself. To be in their shoes." "How did they fight stage-fright with dozens of eyes staring at you from below stage?" and just being awed, staring at them singing.

Secretly, I thought they must thinking why this girl is so wierd, "Standing there like a stone, amongst all these screaming." Well, I know im not directly visible, but i know im visible to a few members becos this taller fan in front was taking hye sung most of the time. And well, there's a gap. I feel like I had a small space around me. =.= Imagination much. HAHA!

Still stunned though.

Shinhwa!! They are back..!

I used to not know them during my secondary sch days. I just found these ppls to be familiar when they come out on variety shows.

Now im just loving them! haha.. nice songs and handsome, cool guys!! woo.. im so not my age.. haha..!

sometimes i feel apologetic towards kevin, being his gf.

When i see other gfs can be so independent, im like "sigh~"

sometimes I wish to be like them. i wish to go climb hills, trekking with my bf, play soccer, go paintball, basketball, running, and so much outdoor exercises with him.

Aye.. that sucks. I dont even know how to console myself. =(

The only thing probably that i can give him is spaces for himself.

I am testing out the keyboard on my samsung laptop. Not bad.. I like samsung keypad. They have the nice feel. just that this notebook dont equip with the additional keypad.

Oh by the way, my blog is dying cos i am not touching it for several months so now im updating now.

Im pretty much the same. Working at the same place. Hanging out with the same colleagues. And well not to mention, doing the same job.

That's precisely why i never do updates anymore. Bcos everything is the same.

Probably, when i change anything, i will update again soon. haha.

Cant even complain here. Dont know who might be viewing anyways. Internet is a dangerous place lately. Everything we write must be careful. Even though i am writing in my personal blog, unless you turn off your tracking by the public. Alot of ppl dont know about this function, so anything they post online will be tracked.

Personal blogs are supposed to be personal, and private. Sigh. Giving out your blog address is like inviting sarcasm into your life.

Its the same for fb and twitter. I simply dont do any unnecessary updates. Not even bothering taking any photos and posting online. Probably i will still do it for my trips la.

So frustrating that i cant post any complaints online. haha.

I think i'm useless.

I think no one ever needs my help. Bcos I will always end up 越帮越忙..

its not me being negative. sometimes its true. bcos when i do something, i always do them slowly, slower than the person who needs help. Thats why i always choose not to help, for being afraid to be labelled. Like i would always get shout by when i tried to help, probably i do it the wrong way, or not the way that person wanted.

Okay, i must admit its not always me, its the person being too 'kan chiong'. I probably help in the sense that they dont think its their way. And well, sometimes being too 'kan chiong' in helping, i flop in helping. Thats pretty much why. Haha.

I know why. Bcos im clumsy. zzz. Thats why.

And when others dont really think i can help when i try to, i feel pissed off. When i offer to help, i know i really can do it, in spite of my clumsiness. That's me.

Arh.. Better to type it out then saying. Ppl wont understand anyway. Why I do/dont things the ways i do/dont.

Yea im 26 and i haven gotten my kate spade wallet for my bday. haha. Its just a display wish.


Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Looking forward to this chinese new year, though i "fan tai shui".. =.=

Nonetheless, hoping for a better year. =)

Tata!!