omg.. this is the first time i ve seen this kind of wedding~! but it rocks!!

by the way, i got to know it when a fren post it on fb.. haha..!

im always angry / upset with myself. i seriously do have brain defect. how else do u explain all the queer things that has happened to me??

Sometimes i know thinking too much doesn't help at all. But not thinking alone doesnt mean that my problems will go away. Things that i can see, hear, touch and feel just make me think more, and its just more upsetting, cos its hard to find someone who actually know. Every individual is unique you know.

I will probably nv understand the way i am, people just see the way i am so they cant tell me why i am the way i am. Unless i could really use up the rest of my brain to think about who i am and what i should be doing.

I am talking abt general stuffs about myself, not some specific stuffs. Probably i cant see the big picture, thats y im still stuck in misery.

Its hard to see the big picture, unless ure some god-giver or something. What am i supposed to do now? Am i supposed to be achieving something big or just be low profile? Should I do something about myself that remains undone, or shall i continue to be "myself", whom i dont even know if im the real me?



I saw a dialogue in a tv drama that a man questions a woman, "What is the difference between an expert and a layman?" The woman answered, "By the amount of mistakes you make. Experts tend to make fewer mistakes."

Although they are referring to work and office, but i realise this question could relate to life too. If you had more experiences of life, you make lesser mistakes, and you wont feel the pain of regretting later of making the wrong decision. I am definitely a noob of life.

The things that i wont understand and dont know will not solve today, until i have experienced more.

They call me xiao mei mei, which is true. I am one. I am not kidding. I am still pampered, protected against the realities of life under the arms of good people. I dont know the consequences of hurting people that you know or you dont know. Like my colleague told us before, "You guys are still lucky you are young. You can speak whatever is in your mind. You know what you want and you are not afraid to let it be known."

And den i was thinking, what does she mean by that? isnt something you know what you want, a good thing? thats life right? if not, r u not wasting it by rejecting ur wants and needs?

maybe theres still alot i dont know. which is why i still dont understand yet. But maybe gradually i will.

But one thing i definitely understand is, you cant get anything you want.


Back to my own thoughts, i spoke without thinking to kevin just now. I didnt think how it would hurt him by saying selfish words. I was blinded by my anger. Not that im saying he doesnt. haha. but arent humans all the same? If logic comes back to you soon enough, den you can repent. If not, you are leading your own death.

Whoever dont erred? Its just the matter of how much they err.


Random thoughts. They only weave around me. haha.


Be blogging again soon. =)

Woah, at work im just waiting for lunch break only. haha.

Its fun to go out with a large group of other colleagues, better than their previous diversified group, as what adrian had said.

at home, i ve a few gamer buddies waiting for me. haha. sorry but i only play cute mmo/mmorpg. The current one im addicted to is Dragonica, lol. Similar to maple, but only more fun.

internship left with 5 weeks more to go. Although im glad in a way, but also sad that im leaving my kawaii colleagues. haha.

oh speaking of them, some of us recently visited pearl, whom because of too much excitement the day before pulau ubin, injured her leg accidentally. we made fun of the flowers that JJ bought for pearl, haha, oh and btw, i chose that cute elmo~! haha..

anyway, this bunch of colleagues really brighten my days in Hutcabb. =) oh god, shall say thanks on the last day den. =) and not forgetting any of their names too. >.<

hoping that our next few gatherings will be successful before i leave. But we can still meet up after i leave rite? =P

see ya soon!

woo, my first ever trip to pulau ubin was fun! which i dont ve to cycle around.. haha..!

thursday we had meeting for nearly the whole afternoon after lunch until 9pm, mostly for the ubin event on friday.

fri - woke up early for the meetups at sime darby, to board the bus to changi jetty and to settle things for the event along the way.

arrived at the jetty and the committee members head off first to set up for games at ubin!

the whole event was smooth, except for the heavy rain during lunch time (so lucky we all got back before the rain). after lunch was free time and den there was a sensory walk led by grant, the ubin guide.

got back to mainland around evening to have dinner at changi jetty. we had a sumptuous seafood dinner and enjoyed the prize presentation.

too bad, it was the last day of work for biru. She is the intern that shared the same table as me in the office haha! Well, we had fun in the office.
And she still owe me my twilight series, so i guess i will be seeing her very soon! Her bday is around july so me and JJ bought her a farewell + bday gift on her last day. =) so glad that she love it! ^^

saddens for shan cos shan really like biru so much that she cant bear to let her go. =) She teared abit while bidding goodbye after dinner when we all are leaving.

hmm, that day was really eventful. thanks to biru for organising so well and so much =) i doubt i could do any better. =) There goes my lunch kakia too. but we shall meet her again, since she live so near the company. haha.

until den =)

woo finally met up jiemeiz. gave them their gifts and chocolates ^^)

we went waraku casual dining to eat lunch. and den went to shop. haha!

they bought their sweets from john little. and den me and love went to try on some slip ons at famous footwear, but in the end nv buy.

saw bodyshop and went in to shop for mineral foundation + brush. gotten free gifts also! they didnt ve stocks for my concealer. and i ve forgotten to go raffles city outlet and buy it. guess next time den.

finally left bodyshop and headed towards suntec! walked around, went in faceshop and sasa and they bought some stuff too. lol.. ate at subway after jo and kaiwen left.

went home after the day's good walking session. i think my legs were gonna give way if i dont go home soon! haha!

cannot be..

my weighing machine should spoil.. cos im not that heavy one lor..

my avg weight used to be 43-44 kg. okay im still not very heavy yet.. but still~!!

sucks, it should be all the eating in the office.. and no exercising..

i should stick to my old exercise regime once my internship is over.

or rather i shall start another weekend workout schedule.

sob..


friday went out with cheeyong and grouppies to eat at waraku in central mall. den after that we went to minds cafe, followed by equinox.. (nice atmosphere and view! i forgot whats the bar called, but thank you uncle ben! LOL!)

sat - love, yq, dan, kevin, cs came to my house. we ordered pizza, which was so wrong ><, and chilled out with the guitar and drum haha.
after which we had a nice dinner with jo and sheng at pastamania in harbourfront.

okay gotta prepare now for outing with jiemeis later.. jyaa na!

hmm.. nth to post much.

Work is so-so, but at least i got work to do every day so i wont be found idling. Unlike those poly days internship lidat.

haha. looking forward to the gatherings this weekends. =)

its been long since i long gone out with them. U know who u r. haha.

Woot, gotta go clean up for a while. Been eating, bathing and sleeping. Lazy to clean my room haha.

See ya!

im supposed to sleep now.. but for the sake of u guys.. i upload these photos.. haha..

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b117/jan85/Hokkaido%20trip/?albumview=slideshow

hope u guys enjoy it.. we shall meet up very soon!

zzz on first day on work, i see JJ, jin jian not junjie hor, a coursemate of mine. Apparently he is now employed in the company im interning in, cos he just graduated after our exams.

Well, anyway, glad to see someone i know, well sorta, in the company, morever, in our dept. we have another NUS intern call Biru*, whos sitting with me in the office. she is so cute, she reminds me of kaiwen. LOL. sorry, cos u n her look similar, both in personality, and physically. biru only ve another 4 more weeks to go, i think i will miss her when shes not around. which is why im glad i ve JJ there. haha.

been doing admin work up till now. and theres so many things to do that i didnt know which to start first. finishing 3/4 of the work im tasked with already.


oh yea, my company is at sime darby enterprise, near queensway shopping center. so today me and biru went down to qway to eat curry chicken haha. yday was at abc market. hmm, theres quite alot of food center here. so no fret. LOL

finally, tmr is friday. i shall go shopping for more clothes on sat. GSS, here i come!

gotta go bath and sleep again. haha. well, hope to meet u guys up soon!! if time permits. =)

yea back~!

been busy these few days so haven upload any hokkaido photos yet. if u guys yearn for some of them, my bro uploaded in his facebook tag me in some of the photos. really little tagging of me.. =.=

meanwhile, keep tuning in for my photos~! i should be able to upload them this weekends.

erm, what else ar? ehto, yea hokkaido was fun and tiring. cos we keep getting on and off the tour bus haha. and worse of all, the bus journeys and the flight to and fro hokkaido. super duper long and sleepy! worst is cant sleep at all! did catch a wink or two but thats abt it! zzz...

and u guys probably needa thank me, cos we ve been finding souvenirs everywhere we go. haha. seriously, almost every stops the shops sell confectionaries and gifts that would catch our attention.

but of cos the bad thing is, everything there is expensive, so we cant afford alot of stuff with our yens. cos in japan, they do cash transaction in almost everywhere, unless u r at big names malls.

anyway, gotta go bath, shall blog more during weekends. cya!

Exams over.

but its not the last of them. if everything goes well this year, i ve one more year to go. and next year should be abit torture with 2 projects to go. sigh.

but enough abt that, haha.


went straight for shopping after my last paper at starhub center in cuppage and got my aloe vera set from bodyshop. watched terminator with dear and walked around taka and wisma.

hmm, didnt see anything fancy so went back to jp and ve dinner. and bought a cute tissue coin pouch too.

Theres nothing miscellanous left to buy except for clothes and shoes, so we left.


oh and next day, my bro and i went to jp again to get his sims3, haha. he induced me into playing by installing it on my com to test the sims3 quality (apparently my com has better graphic card, of cos!)

sims3 got me interested in that game again after hmm, for couple of years? its probably new with all the complete sims3 features but lots of "furnitures" and "decorations" from sims2 are gone. lets hope theres expansion packs for sims3.


Meanwhile i haven pack for hokkaido yet. haha. going to head off tmr evening so theres no need to rush in packing.

the thing thats weighing on my mind is on the day when i should arrive back to singapore around midnight, and den the first thing i need to do is to sleep, and den waking up early to go for work next day. zzz.

working is not a problem. my letharginess affect my days mood though. and i would feel like sleeping the whole day. i had that feeling once before, cos i was having a serious headache so i took off to go home and rest. well, okay, it affects my work.

its not like school where u only need to tolerate few hours of lecture. and den going back home to nap. haha.

which is why i say proper and enough sleep is important for me. haha.

maybe if something were to interest me / keep me occupied, i wouldnt feel that sleepy. but internship is like, hmm, nothing for u to do?

although it beats staying at home for a few months, lol.


well, i'll take whatever it'll come.

for now, i shall play sim3 and pack for my trip! see ya!

at last, completed writing my notes. Time for my last revision of the notes for the day..

so much to write and read, i wonder if my brain can take all those information down in a day, and shoot them out like a gatling gun tmr. haha.

to add on my stress, im having pms, which is making me tired and moody. zzz

sucks. my eyes feel so dry and tired now i feel like going to take a nap.


ar, somehow i really wish a more colorful life. probably more activities to do, but then my lazy attitude just prohibit from wanting to do things. wahaha.

tsk, time is running out for my school life and my slacking life. noooo.. i dont want to start another wierd life, filling of fear and tears, and much tension. now is so relaxing. i can think of my trip whenever i want.. hahaha..!

time to eat! =D *how nonchalent =.=*

see.. told u im having pms. so emo. i wanttttt to be the happiest woman on the earth!! *who doesnt, bish!*

i want a life!

woooooooooooooo.................................... i can see white light coming for me.......................... *hello?* so incoherent in thinking now.................. so gaga............... meow.................................


=.=

continued watching naruto shippuden and bleach yday. so many episodes didnt watch already..!

the first time yday that i finished studying around evening (without distraction thats y haha). so i gave myself a break haha. yesh, mostly i force myself to mug and make notes for a handful before i give it a rest at night.

starting to get the carefree feeling after my pimples caused by own stress slowing begin to fade. guess becos im finally starting to make sense of my notes =.= if not, will be so blurred cos simply too many things to read and comprehend.. sigh.

theres still 3 more articles to read and make summarised notes. guess i should start soon or again i need to study until 10pm. zzz.

lately i ve been sleeping for probably 7-8 hours.. haha.. its enough for me. but really if i sleep early, i should wake up early (bio clock of 7 hours sleep). enough sleep and drinking sufficient fluid also bring beauty lol. like pimples diminishing.

well, most imptly i started to really care for my teeth and its counterparts. haha. i make it a point to clean them after eating, whether by liquid (listerine) expel, brushing or tongue cleaning. lessen my bad breath too. haha.

is it just me, or have i gotten vain? haha..

okay lets continue mugging.. my small brain and i, will jiayou de! *puke, stop acting cute laa*

how silly,

to always craving for things that would never come. And the need to understand and satisfy other ppl's needs just to hope that my own needs can be fulfilled.


it sux when hope is taken away from u. As it rises, the disappointment is bigger when its dashed.

Well i guess it seems to be only in my head.. And thats y i hate it.

who can really see what i want and fulfill my needs?

This is why i choose loafers. well, since quite a few years ago too. i like casual wear, more specifically now.


What Is A Loafer And Are They In Style?

There are some who will deal with the pain of uncomfortable shoes just to look good and be fashionable. I see women all the time in super high heeled shoes looking like they are about to fall down and complaining of sore feet. I don't want to sound mean or uncaring, but they are doing it to themselves, it isn't necessary.

Personally, I fall into the comfort category and I know many people are just like me and would rather be comfortable than wear a shoe that hurts my feet just to be trendy. The makers of shoes have noticed that the trend is towards this philosophy and are now increasing production of various options of comfortable shoes. One of these varieties is the timeless loafer which has seen a huge resurgence in popularity recently. These highly comfortable shoes have never really gone out of style but they haven't really been considered fashionable for over ten years, now they are considered stylish. Here are some of the reasons people are choosing loafers today.

Most people who wear loafers, myself included will tell you that their loafers are their favorite and most comfortable shoes. They are very breathable and don't constrict plus they are supportive of your arches. They also are usually highly cushioned which adds to the level of comfort. Do you ever come home and just throw your shoes off as soon as you get in the door because they are hurting your feet so bad? Well, with loafers you don't have that feeling; in fact many people continue wearing theirs around the house after they get home.

Another thing people like about loafers is that they are easy to get on and off and you don't have to deal with laces. I particularly like this aspect. For people who have back problems they are ideal because you can just step into them and slide them on without having to bend over to tie your shoe. If you have back pain or some other medical condition that prevents you from being able to bend over easily try loafers.

The versatility of loafers is another reason for their popularity. They can be worn with semi dressy pants or even with khakis or jeans. They are equally suited for church, office, or a trip to the grocery store. With jeans they give you a dressier look. If you are on your feet a lot at work you may want to consider a pair for the office. You feel a huge difference in comfort and you won't be so tired at the end of the day.

There are many varieties of loafers now being offered compared to what was offered only a decade ago. In the past you may have only been able to find the shoe in black or brown leather but today you can find them in a variety of materials and colors.

article from: http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/34757/shoes/what_is_a_loafer_and_are_they_in_style.html

yesterday evening went with my family and kevin to taka's sushi tei to eat lobster mentai! the texture is sooo good, but the fish eggs on top of it is way too salty. even for me. =P

was so full cos we ordered alot. even after that much, we went down to b1 and buy venezia ice cream for dessert. lol.

today had another full dinner, this time at home. cos my father cooked a huge pot of "yam"ed fish head and papaya with peanut soup (soup isnt that bad but i still wont like papaya soup). super delicious. and well i ate mini ice cream and drank my bro's "concotion" of barley (opps did i say barley.. er i mean bar----) + choco milk. well i had tie guan yin before that as well.

my stomach is at the dynamic process of digestion now. *look at the on-the-verge-of-exploding tummy LOL!*

ugh, so full... *rub tummy*


another week plus to last paper, and den finally i can start packing for hokkaido! woohoo! *sorry am i dancing?*


guess i'll be going for shopping first to shop for my work wear and probably for the trip stuffs. i noe its gss now. who's with me?!

i'll miss the first half of promotion at bodyshop, but theres promo all the way thru gss, so its okay!


just signed up for stage 3 of jap's beginner class starting tmr. should be missing a few lessons in june though cos of the trip, exam and probably work.

hmm. half dying now bcos of mugging too much these few months. >< seriously hope that mugging so much helps in the exam. haha.

Gambatte ne!!

哦！我知道为什么前几个月我有做运动的冲动了。那是因为我认为运动真的可以把你身上的毒统统排泄掉。大概有口臭也是因为累积身上太多的毒素或者是免疫系统的关系。

自从我看到脸上开始又有豆豆和瑕疵的出现，我才发现我需要做运动。运动很好啊。也可以练你的腹肌，去掉代谢。只是看你选着那一项运动罢了。

我是很想去游泳啦。可是想到自己的脚好像要被烝在水中泡水，又怕自己脚泡久后会软掉跟着跌倒。哈哈。

最近实在是没有时间去跑步。希望去骑脚车时，可以顺便练练脚的肌肉。

嗯，希望去检查或扫描的时候，有复检可以让我做。或者也可以让我知道为什么走路的时候会那么的没有力。几乎也缺乏了重要的平衡点。开始后悔以前不在学校和大家一起运动。实在是没有想到会有这么样的下场啦。

真的真的很希望有一双健全的脚，让我有信心地做每一件事。大概是因为太缺乏自信，所以做的每一件事真的是有心无力似的。连走路也觉得超困难的。

嘿，又在哪里自叹气了。

好了啦。总之就是期待检查的倒来，可以让我更深入地了解自己的状况。我不介意每天都要下去做复检。为了自己的身体状况，我什么都愿意去做。

going to slack today.

at last, another 2 papers are gone like the wind. *hoping its not coming back ><*

last paper in 2 weeks time.

haven start studying for that paper yet. but i think i just need to read more articles and start making notes and links for this paper.

meanwhile, gonna play some games. oh! and the joy of the coming post exam celebrations!! LOL!

cya!

slacking now.. tmr having ict paper at 10 am.

well, gonna go thru my mindmap later one last time before i crash for bed.

already feel like sleeping now. *yawns* den that means that i will be able to sleep early tonight if i dont take a nap now.

been playing plants vs zombie since morning. LOL! sianz..

counting down.. 15 more days.. wols..

even slacking nv been so stressed before =.= maybe its the day before exam, and im slacking away. haha. *just to be clear, i ve already finished mugging for papers for these 2 days*


im already thinking what im gonna do after these 2 papers. lol.


i need to shop.. retail therapy for the exam stress! and high tea!

*maybe i can write a list of to-dos i wish to complete.* *slaps* go study la.

nonono! so near yet so far~~


feeling so crappy now. want to sleep, cos its raining. but if i sleep now, tonight i will difficulty sleeping.

i think i go drink some tea now, well its a sort of my favourite pastime. even without cookies and cakes. just stare and relax, while letting my mind run amok.. no i mean, relax. LOL!

omg, i can smell something, something like mun nian ou... hmm.. hungry.. ok go drink tea le.. cya!

counting down.. 17 more days.. to de end of paper..

haiyakku!!

studying otia now. so sian. eek!

so sleepy man.. zzzz...

sob i see ppl already celebrating.. nan de?!