Before look

After Look

Did rebonding lo... i think its bcos of cny season, that's y the price is unbelievably high... but i still need a fresh look.. so im willing to spend that amount... did i already tell u that it was 190 bucks for rebond and cut? yeah... This is the result lo...

darn... another pang of sadness and jealousy... -_-''

Stupid daniel =X u dun let me see you on the street... i'll skin u alive... lolx... betty, im not against u... i noe if i against ur dear, im against u... but this fella go n send stupid email!!!

P.S. dan, u can only tell betty ar... or else....

the annual dinner and dance is coming, but the cost is 55 bucks per person... who wanna go? To be serious, i haven been to one yet cos my secondary sch graduation ceromony dun ve... I figured most d n ds are like those balls where u wear night gowns and tuxedos and then you dance.. that's y its called dinner and dance... DUN SPOIL MY FANTASY... lolx... every american schools has this prom night i think... To see whether it's really my fantasy, i might go... yea, even if it's 55 bucks... haha
Oh, and another good thing is, my 21st bday coming! And my god-aunties buying me diamond!! cool... but i was wondering if i should choose a ring or a necklace... cos i scared i might scratch the ring... then again, i would like a ring... lolx...
I realise i possesses lots of good stuffs.. even though most of them are not spent by me... lolx... the ipod mini, the swatch/adidas watch, the w550i phone, HP laptop, my converse shoe, my makeup kit counted?? thats all... i cant think of anymore.. haha...
i spent 200 bucks on my hair... and was kena scolded by nearly everyone... lolx... but i am happy i spent this money... i think afterall, this is MY money... everyone should have a first thing to do everything... although this job is internship, but it is my first money earning job...
i discovered, to my dismay, that alot of ppl that i know are leos.. it is because of a certain characteristic of leo that i do not approved... my boss, literally, is leo... and i learnt that virgos and leos are not that compatible... i used to think that if 2 ppl loves each other, it doesnt matter whether their personalities are suitable anot... if they do not know how to compromise, everything is gone like the wind.. in the past, i do not believe in horoscope... now i even find the comparison between a couple. whether they match anot... a certain personality of a horoscope would definitely be the opposite of another... or rather calm the other down... it either helps or it nails the other down... aiya.. just saying lar... of cos, i still dun mind compromising... lolx...

IM PISSED OFF!!

dun talk to me.. im angry now.. at who? at myself.. i begin feeling mood swings these few days.. or is it just after the weekends. my mother n brother had brought up the facts that i dunno how to be a good person. they ve list out all my negative points. though u think it may be my points only... but i can tell u my negative points are definitely more than most ppl ve. u needa me to tell u cos 1 point is my physical body... that makes the major of my weakness already. bcos of my body, my mother keeps worrying for me.. abt my well being. not that its not good... but it could be that bad that i dunno how to take care of myself... for my 20 years of living, i ve a mother who constantly care for me. she's the best.. however, she also make me to be dependent on ppl.. i could nv be independent.. another thing is, she din teach us lots of things in the past. she din tell us to do household chores since young. we nv ve the habit of washing the dishes or washing the clothes or cleaning our own stuffs. although we r brought up nice and good, i nv learn how to take care of myself. she always take food for us, thus spoiling us. always letting her to serve us. i nv know how to buy food.. cos i always bring food to sch... i always dun want to go opp to buy food cos im lazy.
i inherit all the bad points from my father. i inherit his insensitiveness, the bad skin, the stubborness. as a result, i dunno how to care for ppl, always thinking of myself first. i dun think of their feelings.. its always a bad thing for me.. no good first impression always.. im dao.. i heck care about the stuff ard me. the priority is me... although i wont let myself die of starving, i still concern abt me. and me only. friends? i dun ve any b4 poly. maybe those were aquaintances, but i dun call them friends.
now work just sucks.. my mother thinks i offend my supervisor cos i nv get any work from them. now at work is just slacking. though now i still ve something going on la.. updating the database.. rebecca gotten all the job.. they ask her to stay as well.. my mom tots its becos of my poor job performance, my daoness, my constant illness.. of cos u all ppl know that i can be sick for long.. they dun. she also told me that i need to report to them after i finish my work. apparently i din care. i gotten a B though.. the first month i gotten C. the thing is, they din ask me to stay.. well, not that i care.. but its just frustrating..
all these just add up and i bottle up my feelings.. i haven had this feeling for quite a long time. today, i just bcom moody.. they better not talk to me...
another thing, wats going to happen to me after i graduate? i dunno wat job to take up.. i suggested being a part time nurse.. my mom says im cannot take up the job.. they'll need me to fill the medicine bottles n i would just spill them.. its true, i COULD spill them. im just that clumsy. and i dun ve the balance. which make me think of another thing. i cannot drive. i cannot control the car. i cannot take the steering wheel in my own hand and make a nice steer. cos i simply cannot balance the car with my shaky limbs. its only natural. did i say i nv do PE b4? do not ask me wat my CCA was. sports? dun even think abt it.. i can only swim..
my nerve tangles.. i dunno wat happen to me whenever i start to walk or when i suddenly stand up. something just pull me back. i stopped to let myself recover from the bad nerves. i nv tell my mother abt it. i figure if this prolong, i might develop a bigger problem. one day, i shall go to the SGH for checkup. it starts to happen when i was in primary 5. yes, i can tahan this until now. but i tot that my grad ceremony is coming, my parents r coming. i dun want ppl to know that i ve this prob. y u think thats going to happen? cos i gotta take my cert and when that happens, my nerve r gonna go tangle up all over. what is going to happen? as usual, im going to ve to cope with it lo. y m i blogging this? i just wanted someone to know. so far i only told my ex that i got this serious prob.
bcos of my dependent n my prob(my nerve and my shaky limbs), i can nv take those food with soup. y u think that i always ask ppl to help me with them? cos i knew the soup would spill. i would look like an idiot going to my table. and before i reach the table, i would look like an idiot standing n staring in space. bcos of this, im able to do anything for u ppl. forgive me.. i could not offer to buy drinks, not offer to buy food.. forgive me.. is that y im unable to take care of the ppl ard me. cos i can hardly take care of myself. im such a loser.
y do i not want to get up from my seat to get things or go to the toilet? cos i would again, stand n stare into space like a goondo. u can laugh. but its not a joke. its something terrible. i called this the pakis disease. or at least i tot so. according to the medical book, pakis disease make ppl lose control of themselves. and i tot i gotten that. n the age range who should ve gotten that disease? 50 n above. i dunno y im one of the rare to get that. although i din really go to the doc to check my prob but i figure out it should be this disease. whatever.
for those who read this blog. pls do not spread. its only for ur concern. thanks.
whenever i think of these problems, i think im a saddist. i rely on ppl too much.

today half day for me again... wat else? sick lar...
i went to work thinking that i was getting lack of sleep so it doesnt matter... but then later i really cannot tahan liao... wanna go home so badly and then my limbs like cannot move like that... so i just took leave and go home ard 1130.. sigh... might as well dun go work... i came home to sleep of course. haha. ate my cough medicine and slept... only to find out my body heat increased... so after i woke up, i just ate something, and took panadols.. then bath... i think im okay rite now... except for the dry throat... maybe i'll sleep earlier again later.. if im still not okay tml, at most skip work again lo... i really develop this habit of not going to work liao... haha... dun really wanna go there anyway, though i got things to do la... lolx... when im in this state, normally i cant do things well, let alone do my work on the com... i got so frustrated just now when i dun ve the mood and the energy to work.. so i was thinking, what the heck, might as well go home rest since i cant work properly... at least i may be able to report to work the next day after a good day rest.. haha... im only an intern after all... not needed so much... though pay's been cut la... haha... yes, finish crapping liao... cya... btw, i finish watching bleach too... haha...

i finally come back to work after a day of MC... i dun wanna go polyclinic de... for one thing i noe, the queue is always freaking long... i had to wait for 2 hour before i can actually see the doctor!!! and poor me... i had to spend the new year at home alone! did i say that already? lolx... well, the wait at the polyclinic was so long that my head was not giddy after i went in... haiz... i was feeling better so i decided to go to work lo.. to think i get 1 more day MC just in case i not feeling well again... shouldnt ve gone to work... was coughing until like siao... haha... yea siao... haha... sianz... lucky tml is thurs liao... mon public holiday, tue din go work... haha... the week end so fast sia... lolx... oh btw, if kw u r reading, carmen sent us our christmas presents le.... there's one for tina and sj as well... she sent to me to make me the santa... lolx... but xmas is over leh... well, this can be new year gifts then...

i was sick for the first few days liao... now still abit giddy.. i think i became sicker after the new year eve eve that is on fri...

thurs - after my family left for the genting, ard 3 pm, i came home to tidy up... i ve gotten half day off cos i really wasnt feeling well... i slept until 6 and went opp to bank in my cheque and bought some food.. guess wat? ive forgotten to write down my acc number on the cash cheque n i just threw it in! i realised that after i threw it in... dumb ass... haha... did some laundry n i went to sleep ard 11...

fri - my throat was feeling better so i went to work... instead, rebecca n june din report to work... guess they fallen sick too... i met some of them to eat... there was ken, cy, mike, bryan, seng... the 6 of us had our usual dinner at cine's cartel... after that we decided to sing at party world.. trying to get sj and jiayan to come down as well... jy says she no money... sj booked the last early slot at 11pm... can u believe it? last early slot leh... n it's not even eve yet... cos after dinner it was 9 pm then we ve to wait until 11 -_-'' so we went walk walk for a while lo... mike went home cos he got work the next day...the crowd must be due to the holiday seasons... we walked ard orchard, waited for sj at the station b4 we went down to party world.. we sung until 3 lo... bryan cannot take it so he left ard 1 something... haha... i figured its so late liao that jy dun wanna come my hse ton le... so i din call her... its so happen that she's at home waiting for my call... so sorry man... later that night, we booked narnia at 4 am... wah lao... the show is ard 2 n 15 mins like that... the story is so-so type... lord of the rings is better in terms of fighting.. haha.. i was going to fall asleep if it's not for the last few exciting parts... took off after the show... barely can walk a few steps, nearly stumble... i always feel like that after a movie... or maybe i was really tired and blurred that day.. reached home ard 7.30...

sat - i was having sore throat few days b4.. when i slept ard 8 am that morning... the soreness was gone after i woke up ard 3 pm... instead, i got runny nose n a giddy head -_-'' i din get a fever, so y is that i feel giddy? it was better(i ate medicine) after i rested from 6-7... i think i did laundry and then forced myself to go down to grab some food... (i was trying to get mike n cy to accompany me to eat but mike was not ard) i ate and had medicine for my flu... watched bleach n went to bed ard 10pm...(mike called to ask me go sls, but i was really giddy to get out of the hse) woke up at 12 something... haha... and u noe wat i did from 12-3? i stupidly sung jay's new album (i think i haven had enough of him) that i think neighbours can hear me singing... if they r not in bed yet la... i dun think they r cos its new year...

sat- well... its sad rite... to think i spent my new year in bed having flu... the singing's not bad.. at least i sung to myself hahaha -_-'''anyway, i slept until 10am in the morning la... still having sea-sickness(feeling's the same la) so i din dare to ask ppl out... crap la.. if i din fall sick... maybe i will be happily celebrating outside... ive been sleeping too much le so i din sleep for fear of getting giddiness again when i wake up... so i just watched bleach lo... i ve been dling that for 4 days le... episode 1-50... its supposed to be quite fast... nvm la... finished dling can le...

N finally, my family's back! ard 8pm... i told my mum to buy some food for me... cos i really cannot go down.. scared if i go down, i will be stumbling all the way... im still having giddiness by the way... my mum says bcos i din eat... is it? watever la...

if tml's de same, im gonna go to the doc and skip work... hope so(fingers crossed)... haha... oh i checked my bank acc yday... the cheque din bounce... the money got in safely hahaha...