Sigh.. Everytime it happens when im having PMS. Just so very moody. And worst. Just hope my symptom can be something else. But moodiness probably is de best symptoms any female could ve. haha.

i notice that some other females might ve gastric pain or headache, or lose weight when they are experiencing PMS. soo i dont think i wish for that symptoms. heh.

Some things he said worsen my mood. I seriously tried to listen. But my hormones just wouldn't listen. Just keep crying and crying, that's all. I wonder if we can control our PM symptoms?

Feeling so stressed that i'm having pimples at my forehead. Maybe its the hormones. I dont know. Maybe they add up together.

M period comes, and of cos my moodiness should fade gradually. Yday was probably de worst i ever had. Men just cannot understand women. Sigh.

The FB app i took..

101 Romantic Things To Do With Your Lover

• Sing to each other. (Not really to each other. Mostly i sing and he happens to be there. LOL~)
  
• Go to the park. (yes)
• Apologize for previous fight and have a romantic dinner together. (hmm.. nope)
• Put love notes in his/her pockets when he/she isn't looking. (i used to..)
• Go to the beach and see the sunrise. (once? with frens too..)
• Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice. (hmm.. nope)
• Party with his/her friends. (yup)
  
• Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight. (during chalet...)

Only a few cos i just play this app. haha.

My point of view

Every time i go to my window to close it, I wonder about jumping off / death. Would I be better off dead, or if the world is better off without me?

Then I rethink my sudden thought today. I write down quickly to remind myself and for those who find death comforting.

My answer would be, No, it wouldn't. Sure, it would put me out of misery. Sure, my family and friends would be devastated. But it wouldn't change anything. My life wouldn't be better. Their lives would not be better or for worse. It will not affect strangers who doesn't know you, or people who doesn't bother / care. It would probably change ur family or ur close friends, but not much. Life has to go on.

Why not stay alive, and continue to change ur lifestyle if u find it so demeaning? THAT will definitely make ur life better, or probably make people around you better. =) Make a wise choice, after all, we hold our own lives.

Anyway, i thought of this when i finally go for a checkup at polyclinic. I am anxious to solve my own physical problem. I don't want help or pity anymore. I wish to do something about myself. This visit to TTSH is impt to me. Countdown period. 1 month and 1 day. Sigh.

Right now, i can do nothing but go on about everyday life. Probably dwelling isn't my concern now. I have an option, that is to go to the hospital. Must have a positive mind. Even after going to TTSH and doc says there is nothing they can do about it, I must be positive.

This is also something I thought of when i finally thought of finding a job. Someday I have to work to support myself, if not for my family. So stop avoiding work / life and start doing something. Even if it means failure and learn. Learn and get over your failures.

I realise anything that i procrastinate / reluctant to do is mostly bcos of my illness. It seriously affect my way of life, probably my speech too. This is why i decide strongly to change it by visiting doctors and getting appointment at the neroscience dept. I am tired of telling my family and friends that I am born like that, without really knowing the answer myself. And finding excuses that I couldn't do anything about it. Well, that part is true now. So I am hoping that any kind of cure, if there is, would really change everything about me.

Just remember, your life is in your hand. =) Don't be distress. A life only approximately takes 80 years.

Part of my horoscope in relationship

i believe i ve quoted this before. But this is only for Kevin. LOL! for 4 years, he still didnt seem to know me well. =P

VIRGO WOMAN
"She only searches for true love, not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angel again. If you have a date with her, you'd better be there on time.

Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry, make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up event, it could lead you to another world war. She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money. Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too.

Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can."

Satisfying lunch n dinner today. Yummy.

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The Big Bang Theory - The 'soft kitty' song



Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,
Purr purr purr.

^.^